Any writers here aside from the writing staff? Poetry, short stories, whatever. I named the thread poetry because that's what I most relate to, but please feel free to contribute in any way. Here's a most recent of mine, albeit a short story...
I honestly thought it was pretty well written, great job. I wouldn't mind reading more so good luck to you. Wish I could contribute something but not at this moment.
same here, used to write poetry like crazy, haven't as much lately. I'm into writing a few film scripts these days, did a bit freelance stuff for newpapers too.
I could never write poetry, and hated it during elementary school. Back in Kosovo in the first few grades, they made us remember different poems and then say them in front of class. Talk about embarrassing moments. lol
you are very good at constructing phrases, but if I could offer some constructive criticism, your writing is too dense. What is your purpose? Who is your audience? The second piece has no real introduction, and it is difficult to discern what it is about, and where you want to take the reader. For instance, I have no idea what the subject of the second sentence is about. What does "it" refer to? I thought individuality, but that last clause in the sentence seems to change the subject entirely. To me, it is important that a piece of prose be able to be read aloud, and be understood. Often, by the time I finish a sentence, I've forgotten what it is about. To me, it seems as though you are more interested in constructing the perfect phrase than in communicating your ideas to the audience. It seems like you are overly focused on expressing what you are thinking inside your head. That's all well and good, but no one can read it or understand it without some larger context. Why are you thinking about these things? Where are you? Who are you? The first piece is definitly better at that. But there are still missing references. For instance, in the first paragraph, you write that "I couldn’t help but think that maybe it’s true." WHAT is true? It doesn't make sense that she let you see letters that she wrote that are signed "with love." If she wrote the letters, why does she still have them? If she didn't mail them, shouldn't you say that she was weird in that way, and you couldn't be sure if the letters were meant for real or imaginary friends? There also seems to be a problem with time. It seems like you start out when you just meet this girl, and then time runs very quickly, and before you know it, she;'s apologizing for something. I'm just really confused as to when this takes place, in terms of the length of your relationship. Don't take me wrong--I just mean that as constructive criticism. You're really talented, I think you just need some focus. What you've given us seem to be small snippets of something larger, and it is just confusing. Go through it sentence by sentence, paragraph by paragraph, and just deconstruct and reconstruct it. i should probably add that i lean towards a completely different style, and would never gravitate towards a piece that delves into emotions and state of mind to the extent that these do, so perhaps my criticism is off-base. I'm certainly not an expert in this sort of writing at all. Best, d
