Zombie Paddling upstream

Discussion in 'Portland Trail Blazers' started by riverman, Nov 4, 2014.

  1. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2013
    Messages:
    66,303
    Likes Received:
    64,441
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Rip City Current, Part 1: Paddling Upstream

    This season’s Blazers are setting sail on that 82 game journey and in the brutal Western Conference, it’s paddling upstream against a strong current.
    With so many returning, yet unproven bench players there is no rookie hype, no blank page to fill in with script. From summer league and preseason we saw glimpses of improvement and got a taste of what Kaman and Blake bring to the mix. According to the coaching staff, starters and vets, everyone got better. The focus has been on becoming a better defensive team and resting the starters more. After 3 games we were ranked 9th in the league defensively and 19th in the league offensively. It seems after a somewhat disappointing start that we are treading water and maybe even losing some ground on offense after being a top ranked offense last season. Next comes the inevitable fan panic that follows a couple of ugly losses. I’ve compiled a list that I hope fans have some fun with entering this season. riverman

    Choices when the current gets rough:

    1. Be patient. Let them develop and adapt just like all the other 29 teams
    2. Cheer the team on and hope for the best
    3. Melt down. Vent. Start half a dozen angry threads. Hang out in a Spurs forum for a while and contemplate buying a Duncan jersey
    4. Really feel good about Lamarcus and Meyers shooting more 3’s
    5. Feel really sorry for Victor Claver. Just when he was becoming fluent in English comprehension
    6. Believe the Blazers are an elite team and can contend for a title
    7. See us missing the playoffs altogether
    8. Think Paul Allen will move the team to Seattle complete with several “I told you so” conspiracy theories
    9. Just enjoy drinking beer, eating snacks and watching the dancers at halftime
    10. Consider yourself a fair weather Meyers Leonard fan and find yourself hoping Stotts brings him back into the game but not admitting it
    11. Want to see all our tallest guys on the court at the same time….just once
    12. Post a scathing, controversial thread just to see it go for at least 50 pages
    13. Take the season one game at a time and enjoy the games even if we lose
    14. Wait until New Year’s Eve to evaluate the team or make any predictions
    15. Believe we have a bona-fide 6th man in the making
    16. (blazer wookie's, see post #9)
    17. Let numbers and charts or graphs determine every member of the organizations value and then watch Moneyball over and over and over
    18. After beating the Cavs soundly, think Lillard should go back on twitter and make some new snarky comments

    Feel free to chime in and Go Blazers!
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2014
  2. BrianFromWA

    BrianFromWA Editor in Chief Staff Member Editor in Chief

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2008
    Messages:
    26,060
    Likes Received:
    9,014
    Trophy Points:
    113
    1, 2, 4, 6, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17. Especially 12. I love 12. Better if it involves 11 and 4.
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2014
    riverman likes this.
  3. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2013
    Messages:
    66,303
    Likes Received:
    64,441
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Brilliant! Repped! Thanks bro!
     
  4. BlazerWookee

    BlazerWookee UNTILT THE DAMN PINWHEEL!

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2008
    Messages:
    12,797
    Likes Received:
    5,915
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Gear Finisher
    Location:
    Lebanon, Oregon
    16. Drink Coors Light in ill-advised quantities.
     
    riverman likes this.
  5. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2013
    Messages:
    66,303
    Likes Received:
    64,441
    Trophy Points:
    113
    My Irish ancestors had no idea that drinking and ill advised quantities could be put together in the same sentence
     
  6. BrianFromWA

    BrianFromWA Editor in Chief Staff Member Editor in Chief

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2008
    Messages:
    26,060
    Likes Received:
    9,014
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I think #9 was written with Wookee in mind.
     
  7. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2013
    Messages:
    66,303
    Likes Received:
    64,441
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Repped for being the first to continue the list. @wookie
     
  8. SlyPokerDog

    SlyPokerDog Woof! Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2008
    Messages:
    116,223
    Likes Received:
    114,265
    Trophy Points:
    115
    Great job, Riverman!

    Rep'd!
     
  9. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2013
    Messages:
    66,303
    Likes Received:
    64,441
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Glad you enjoyed it Sly! I had a blast doing this and look forward to the next one.
     
  10. magnifier661

    magnifier661 B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2009
    Messages:
    59,328
    Likes Received:
    5,587
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Cracking fools in the skull
    Location:
    Lancaster, California
    I want 11 so badly! Btw, great write up bro!
     
  11. Boise Blazer

    Boise Blazer Thread Lightly

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2008
    Messages:
    7,241
    Likes Received:
    2,556
    Trophy Points:
    113
    So what are we looking at? Leonard, Rolo, Kaman, LMA and Freeland?
     
  12. magnifier661

    magnifier661 B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2009
    Messages:
    59,328
    Likes Received:
    5,587
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Cracking fools in the skull
    Location:
    Lancaster, California
    Yeah. Rolo at point, Leonard at guard, LMA at SF, Freeland at PF and Kaman at center
     
  13. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2013
    Messages:
    66,303
    Likes Received:
    64,441
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Me too! My tallest team in the NBA would have Nic at the pt guard , Meyers at the 2, LA at the 3, Kaman at the 4 and Rolo at the 5. Thanks for the props mags!
     
  14. Hobbesarable

    Hobbesarable Cartoon Character

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2012
    Messages:
    6,773
    Likes Received:
    5,489
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Props for the list!

    I usually go with #13 in all sports.

    #5 - Easy money sitting in a suit. I'm willing to do that for him if he really wants to go back to Spain!
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2014
  15. Boise Blazer

    Boise Blazer Thread Lightly

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2008
    Messages:
    7,241
    Likes Received:
    2,556
    Trophy Points:
    113
    It wouldn't be the 5 tallest but swap Freeland for Batum and put him at point and you could almost talk me into that for real just to see what happens for fun.
     
  16. magnifier661

    magnifier661 B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2009
    Messages:
    59,328
    Likes Received:
    5,587
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Cracking fools in the skull
    Location:
    Lancaster, California
    Oh I like that better!
     
  17. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2013
    Messages:
    66,303
    Likes Received:
    64,441
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Or the desert, Rubio would probably love to be in the desert as well. Portland is too damp for most some of these guys.Rudy ditched it in a mad dash too
     
  18. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2013
    Messages:
    66,303
    Likes Received:
    64,441
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Just updated the original list..up to 18 now.
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2014
  19. Boob-No-More

    Boob-No-More Why you no hire big man coach?

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2008
    Messages:
    19,094
    Likes Received:
    22,762
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Drinking Coors Light in any quantity is ill advised.

    BNM
     
  20. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2013
    Messages:
    66,303
    Likes Received:
    64,441
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I was so glued to the game last night that my Guinness went flat and that NEVER happened before
     

Share This Page