The official Jusuf Nurkic facts thread

Discussion in 'Portland Trail Blazers' started by Mediocre Man, Mar 29, 2017.

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  1. bodyman5000 and 1

    bodyman5000 and 1 Lions, Tigers, Me, Bears

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    Uhhhh, good?
     
    bodyman5000 and 1, Jun 28, 2017
    #141
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  2. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    Dammit... I got it from a Norris site...
     
    dviss1, Jun 28, 2017
    #142
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  3. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    Big Nurk sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
     
    dviss1, Jun 28, 2017
    #143
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  4. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    Nurk doesn't have good aim tho. His bullets just know better than to miss.
     
    dviss1, Jun 28, 2017
    #144
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  5. Jade Falcon

    Jade Falcon Just to piss you off.

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    Jade Falcon, Jun 28, 2017
    #145
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  6. PDXFonz

    PDXFonz I’m listening

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    Dviss f'ing slaughtered this thread
     
    PDXFonz, Jun 28, 2017
    #146
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  7. julius

    julius Global Moderator Staff Member Global Moderator

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    Nurkic can put out whole forest fires with his spit.

    That noise you hear during a thunder and lightning storm isn't actually thunder. It is Jusuf Nurkic belching.

    Jusuf knows the answer to the riddle"if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there, does it make a sound?" His answer is "Yes it does." He knows, because he is everywhere and everything.

    The World Meteorological Organization knows not to name a Hurricane after him. If they did the hurricane would wipe out the whole planet.

    They tried to come up with the "Nurkic scale" for grading earthquakes, but found out that a 1 on the Nurkic Scale would split the world in half.

    Jusuf once cried a single tear. The creation of the oceans have been accredited to that single tear.

    If Jusuf wanted to, he could create a rock that is too heavy for him to lift...and lift it.

    Jusuf ran a whole marathon in death valley, in a wool sweater, in 15 minutes...in his sleep.

    Little known fact, the Virtuvian man was modeled after what was left of the last two guys who tried to steal from Jusuf.

    Toe Jam from Jusufs feet is considered a delicacy.
     
    julius, Jun 28, 2017
    #147
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  8. theprunetang

    theprunetang Shaedon "Deadly Nightshade" Sharpe is HIM

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    When Nurkic broke his teeth during NBA play, he felt pain for a split second, but then remembered who he was and told the pain to shut the fuck up.
     
    theprunetang, Jun 28, 2017
    #148
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  9. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
     
    dviss1, Jun 29, 2017
    #149
  10. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    When Nurkić enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
     
    dviss1, Jun 29, 2017
    #150
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  11. SIeepwalker

    SIeepwalker The lone sane poster

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    Legends say Meyers Leonard one day saw Nurkic post up. He was never seen near the paint since.
     
    SIeepwalker, Jun 29, 2017
    #151
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  12. stampedehero

    stampedehero Make Your Day, a Doobies Day Staff Member Moderator

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    Since he came here, we are all Nurkaholics. Why can't Meyers play the same way? I saw him standing and applauding when Nurk played huge against the Sixers and Nuggets. untitled N urk.png
     
    stampedehero, Jun 29, 2017
    #152
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  13. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    You guys are clearly slacking on this thread...

    Once Nurk was pulled over. He let the cop go with warning.
     
    dviss1, Jul 5, 2017
    #153
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  14. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    Little known Star Wars fact:

    Nurkic has appeared in every movie.

    Nurkic IS the Force.
     
    dviss1, Jul 5, 2017
    #154
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  15. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    dviss you're on a roll dude! You could make Steven Wright crack a smile with some of these!
    stevenwright1.jpg
     
    riverman, Jul 5, 2017
    #155
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  16. noknobs

    noknobs Well-Known Member

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    Nurk's first job was in an office, but it ended abruptly after his boss asked for a three-hole-punch.
     
    noknobs, Jul 5, 2017
    #156
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  17. Jade Falcon

    Jade Falcon Just to piss you off.

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    I say we induct dviss into the S2 Hall Of Fame just on this thread alone.

    Nurkic can speak at his induction.
     
    Jade Falcon, Jul 5, 2017
    #157
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  18. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    It's all inspired by the big guy. I'd be nothing without him. It's to the point now where if the people at Google have a question, they Nurk it.
     
    dviss1, Jul 5, 2017
    #158
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  19. tlongII

    tlongII Legendary Poster

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    Because he doesn't have a big ass and big legs like Nurk has. That makes a HUGE difference when playing in the post.
     
    tlongII, Jul 5, 2017
    #159
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  20. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    That's cuz comparing Butters to Nurk is like comparing Jesus to Hitler? :dunno:
     
    dviss1, Jul 5, 2017
    #160
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