Riverman is very right about the time thing. I got 50/50 custody and I've been doing that for 15(!) years. Some things: time heals, man, it is weird; don't fight about specifics; take some losses, but don't be a pushover; be strong for your kids; remember, you are far from the only one; exercise; porn; hanging with friends; taking advantage of being single; the fucking TRAIL BLAZERS; the forum, of course; reading; movies; I used to go surfing a lot and hiking. Trust that thing will get better.
Just be civil no matter what with her, give the kids all the love in the world, and give yourself time. Don’t just jump into poontown, that will result in you feeling like shit after you bust.
When I was younger I read a stat that in America, on average, an avid fan of a sports team has a 40% drop in testosterone production after watching their team lose. I bring this up to illustrate that losing can have physiological reproductions and something like a divorce can alter your mental makeup at a very basic level. It’s why crying often leads to more crying and pain seems to worsen. The good news is we can try and boost our physiology back into a more healthy cycle by doing a few important things: 1) exercise. And make it a tough excercise, it doesn’t need to be long, 20 minutes is fine, but only if you push yourself during those 20 minutes to the point of exhaustion. 2) Eat right. When many of us are sad we gravitate towards comfort foods, but we need to give our bodies all the nutrients to correct itself. Lots of veggies and protein. 3) make yourself be happy. It might just be for a few minutes at a time, but do things on a schedule that make you and your body go through the motions of happiness. Force yourself to smile or laugh during these time. This could be playing a game with one of your kids or it could be rewatching Dames game winners. Could rewatch one of your favorite happy movies like Princess Bride or Airplane. Good luck. You will be happier sooner if you reboot your body.
My wife and I will be celebrating our 42nd anniversary next month, 44 years of being together, 58 years of knowing each other. Such an amazing woman, such a fortunate life I have led. Seriously, no man alive has it better than I. I've witnessed many other people's divorces and the common thread is she will play the woman card. That strong independent woman will play helpless damsel in court and you will be raped. Get a good lawyer or you will be forever poor, your kids will hold it against you while your ex spends YOUR money spoiling them.
Nope, my divorce was like the end of the world. Had to go through it to get better. Now happily married for 40 years.
Got served papers yesterday. We have a shared time parenting plan in place but she’s seeking legal custody. Should I be worried? I know the difference between parenting time and custody. I’m just baffled since she seems to want to split everything together and seems amicable.
Got one. I just kinda need to vent sometimes and this is a place where I can do that without having to bother anyone at the moment. When I posted, most people I know were still asleep or getting ready for work.
Don't know anything about your (and her) financial situation, but I'd say there's a decent chance it's a money move; custody equals child support. If everything's been amicable up to this point, very well might be something her lawyer recommended (insisted on?). Not a lawyer (obvs), but I think it's pretty clear that in your response you need to also seek custody, and then be willing to "settle" for the joint custody that you wanted all along.
Every time the kids come to visit you give each of them a kitten. Then after your wife has about 12 kittens in the house report her for being a cat hoarder. The judge will give you equal custody.
Seeming amicable is a trap. Don't Trust Anyone. Stay aggressive for your rights. Do not talk with her at all, clean up all of your social media platforms. If she knows you post here, I would delete this thread or at least clean up anything she could use against you. All communications should be through your lawyers at this point. ZERO contact with her or anyone she is friends with until this is resolved.
You've gotta do what you think is best. That way you have no one to blame but yourself. Weigh what others have to say but reach your own conclusion.
