OT Lost my abilities, again

Discussion in 'Blazers OT Forum' started by Road Ratt, Aug 29, 2022.

  1. Road Ratt

    Road Ratt King of my own little world

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    Over the last few months I have been sleeping mostly well. Which has helped me to recover more, as well as regain some mental energy that I have been lacking for too long now. What I have been going through has been mentally draining to the hilt. If I ran out of energy, that was it, time for a nap, no matter the time of day.

    The 7 day, near or just above 100 degree, heatwave we had at the beginning of August. It made me regress in my progress. By day 4 I had lost my abilities, again. My equilibrium was off, my ability to communicate well, etc. . Of course, every part of my day was affected. It's difficult to function when you are in this state. It is a bit scary as well. Not being able to do things as well as usual. Especially communicating.

    Yesterday I had a major autistic burnout. Stress from this month finally took it's toll. But the trigger itself was a friend of mine in Texas. He told me that he was on like day 3 of eating protein powder because he is literally out of food. In my condition, and with my level of empathy my heart just dropped through the floor. I just lost it not long after he informed me of his situation. My brother drove me to Fred Meyer's to get a card for him. I put $100 in it, and we put it in a mailbox at the post office yesterday. I have no way of using a money transfer app. So it was the only way for me to help. I spent today chatting with him to help distract him from his hunger. He left just a bit ago to go lay down for the evening. He gets a small amount of food stamps tomorrow. Which should help him get by until my card arrives.

    Before my dad died in 2013. He would come visit me every month. At this time he lived with his sister. Sometimes he would tell me that he had been eating nothing but cereal for a week. Every single time I would give him $40-60 and tell him not to worry about paying me back. I have never been a person that can watch someone struggle with hunger, or having to eat the same thing just to keep from going hungry.

    The autistic burnout actually helped me. It is sort of a release valve, extreme release valve. You sort of become a puddle of blubbering mess. It's not a pretty sight. But, it actually helps you to release stress from your body. Hours afterwards, I felt much calmer and have stayed that way since. I am not back to where I was before this month began. But with no more lengthy temps near 100 this summer, I will get back to where I was again fairly soon.

    I thought I would post this so that everyone that I haven't been able to reply to will understand that I may not have been able to at the time.

    Ah well, crap happens whether you are human or autistic. A little joke of mine. Yeah, I know, very little. :morningtime:
     
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  2. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    I hope you will go through a good easy stretch after all that and I commend you for helping feed your friends in time of need. Glad you can post here whenever you can...no worries about times when you aren't up to it. The heat is very tasking but hopefully fall will bring us all some relief!
     
  3. Phatguysrule

    Phatguysrule Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the heads up.

    Enjoy the forum as you can, and please don't feel as though you need to reply to some of the statements I lay out there.

    I don't take offense to much.

    I hope you're back on top again soon!
     
  4. Road Ratt

    Road Ratt King of my own little world

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    I meant autistic meltdown here, not burnout. Ah well, I am burned out.


    Thanks. I would have never imagined that the extreme heat would do what it did to me. But, at this end of the 3+ years this has been going on. I am wishing for an end to my recovering. It's exhausting as hell. I know the cooler weather coming up soon will help. Before next summer I should be fully recovered and the heat will bother me more normally again. :fishing:
     
  5. SharpeScooterShooter

    SharpeScooterShooter SharpeShooter

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    These are tense times, but i have no doubts most everybody here, including you, have the best of intentions. No need to apologize, Autism or not. Please keep posting in the Earth thread with your videos and links and such. I may not comment, but I watch most of them eventually when i get time. I appreciate them very much!
     
  6. Chris Craig

    Chris Craig (Blazersland) I'm Your Huckleberry Staff Member Global Moderator Moderator

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    Thanks for sharing. I'm glad you have a space here to talk about it. Hopefully, things take a turn for the better for you. Cooler weather is around the corner.

    I hear you about not being able to watch others struggle. I am always filling up my mom's fridge and she is also saying I don't need to do that and she'll pay me back. I tell her no and keep doing it.

    You friend is lucky to have someone like you in their life. Keep on keeping on!
     
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  7. calvin natt

    calvin natt Confeve

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    I’m sorry you’re going through this. It sounds tough. Hang in there.
     
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  8. crandc

    crandc Well-Known Member

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    Take care, Ratt. In the midst of your troubles you are helping others. Hold on to that.
    .
     
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  9. Road Ratt

    Road Ratt King of my own little world

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    I am finally recovering. The horrible feeling in my head went away. The short term memory problems are gone as well. I have clarity of thought that I haven't had in years. It took just over two years for me to recover after figuring out that I was suffering from chronic burnout.

    It turns out that what I went through was much more dangerous than I had ever thought. A poster on an autistic website, that I use, had his heart stop while in a similar level of burnout. So, I guess I may be lucky just to be here.

    When I get the chance. I will update my other thread and post the horrors of what I went through. It was crazy... wrapped in insanity... wrapped in straitjackets... wrapped in...

    Recovering just in time for the Holidays. :meat:

    :smiley-jumping:
     
  10. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    Hope each day moving forward is an improvement in your quality of life my friend....glad to see you keep pushing the ball forward and hope you achieve a full and stable recovery that brings peace of mind!
     
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  11. Chris Craig

    Chris Craig (Blazersland) I'm Your Huckleberry Staff Member Global Moderator Moderator

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    Glad to hear you are recovering. Sounds like you have been through some really tough shit. Good vibes ahead.
     
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  12. crandc

    crandc Well-Known Member

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    Glad you're feeling better. Enjoy your holidays. Go Blazers.
     
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  13. Hoopguru

    Hoopguru Well-Known Member

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    Glad you are feeling better! enjoy the holidays!
     
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  14. Stevenson

    Stevenson Old School

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    God bless you brother. Wishing you peace.

    My sweet, late mom used to say, "It's a good life if you don't weaken." I've learned that that is quite true. Stay strong, be kind - to yourself and others.

    You got this!
     
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  15. calvin natt

    calvin natt Confeve

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    Where is this “other thread”? I’m curious to hear more about what you’ve been going through, and how you got to this point of thankfully feeling better
     
  16. Road Ratt

    Road Ratt King of my own little world

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    Here is a link to my original post.

    http://www.sportstwo.com/threads/autistic-burnout.368743/

    Though, what I was going through was way worse than any of the videos in this thread can explain.
     
  17. calvin natt

    calvin natt Confeve

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  18. Road Ratt

    Road Ratt King of my own little world

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    Nope. No medications. My doctor never recognized what I was going through. If they had, maybe I could have gotten help. If it ever happened again I would seek medical attention, and know what to tell them was going on.
     
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