Not much out there

I hope I get a chance to insult your favourite game here:

Killzone 2: only on the PS3, and I don't even know anyone that has one; launch delayed beyond reason; virtually no chance it lives up to the hype;
Street Fighter 4: fighting games are all the same;
GTA4 Lost & The Damned: they waited too long, GTA4 has already lost its appeal; can anyone honestly say they weren't tired of this game within a month of its original launch?
Halo Wars: you really need a mouse for a game like this; strategy peaked with StarCraft, which is also getting a sequel, but that was how many years ago; genre is exhausted;
Resident Evil 5: targeting system flawed and never fixed; incredibly poor writing and dialogue marks the series;
Star Ocean, The Last Hope: who cares; do the Japanese hate themselves so much they always make their heroes with blond hair and blue eyes?
The Sims 3: virtual lives are causing the recession, I know it; stop stimulating yourselves to cartoon avatars and go out and stimulate the economy you losers;
Various Baseball games: effectively simulate the tedium of real baseball;
Tom Clancy's HAWX: a genre that gained that popularity on 386 computers and has had ten million iterations; appropriate name, seeing as how Tom Clancy is a chickenhawk;
Sonic & The Black Knight: Sonic games are great (circa 1992);
Guitar Hero, Metallica: pretty much just for braggers; countdown to Metallica cracking down on people listening to their songs in the game without having buying bought albums is on;
Prototype: ok, this one looks pretty cool.

 

No, no exceptions. Any game mentioned in this thread will be insulted by me. Street Fighter is a house built on racial stereotypes and the intensely xeonpohbic Japanese superiority complex. And they've had an ungodly number of iterations. I'm still waiting for Street Fighter 2: Alpha Omega Super Ultra everyone is wearing fancy striped pants version 14.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Street_Fighter_games

 

The point of this thread is for me to rip on your favourite games for no good reason and in an especially childish or nerdy manner.

So yeah, you're right about Resident Evil. Its 2009. Being able to move and shoot at the same time is so passe. Having a laser sight that shows a beam in broad daylight is also not at all retarded.

Have you seen the Resident Evil movie? I swear Capcom employs 12-year old boys to write all their material. "So, like, he yells out her name and throws her a gun, and she does a backflip and kicks the head off a zombie, and catches the gun while she is upside down and you can totally see up her skirt the whole time! Then the main guy narrows his eyes and brushes the hair away from his face and says, 'I have a bad feeling about this'. Karate + guns + being brooding = being totally badass and copping feels everywhere you go!"

 

Fuck Counter Strike. Who decided it was a good idea to just keep playing the same game every night for years on end? Counter Strike players are like World of Warcraft players, just cheaper.

Also, who wants to play meticulously crafted levels by professional game designers when you can sift through terabytes of fan made garbage instead?

 

Ok, not so many at once. My AVGNerd/Zero Punctuation impression has its limits.

THQ keeps making the same wrestling game over and over. Its basically NBA Live at this point. You know you have a bad game when you'd rather spend hours creating your character than actually play the fucking game. Wrestling games peaked with No Mercy for the 64 when AKI was making them. THQ decided they knew better and went with shitty developers like Anchor and that has led them into their current shit quagmire.

Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2: Fusion... sure you don't want any more subtitles in that name? How about Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2: Fusion: Operation Get Stan Lee More Viagra Money. Pretty much all I've got for that one.

If there is one game that makes the exorbitant PS3 price worthwhile, its a game like Bomberman, best played on a gameboy or cell phone. Nice work, Sony.

People are quick to forget Ghostbusters has had games before it that were legendary for their awfulness. But it's written by Dan Aykroyd! He also wrote Blues Brothers 2000. And Coneheads. Aykroyd lives in my hometown and you'll occasionally see him waddling around downtown, trying to draw attention. Don't expect this one to be more than a paycheque. Ok, the tone of this line of insult is a bit harsh. I guess that's because secretly I was obsessed with Ghostbusters as a kid and my dreams hinge on this game being a worthwhile recreation of the series.

 

I see what you did there in trying to create a conflict of interest for me.

Just a jiu-jitsu game alone would be pretty impossible to make. To make matters worse, the UFC have gone out and recruited THQ, the same company that can't even do fake fighting justice.