Funny Take off your headbands and...

Discussion in 'Portland Trail Blazers' started by PDXFonz, Jan 30, 2015.

  1. PDXFonz

    PDXFonz I’m listening

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    [​IMG]

    Put on your tinfoil hats! Ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves a conspiracy. True and blue, this is as clear as they come, complete with all the trademark signs. The loose relation, the barely palpable possibility, the psychological desire to be right. Damian Lillard IS an all-star, and there's only one way to explain why he was snubbed. Because he and the NBA agreed on it!!
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    By now I'm sure you are all aware that Demarcus Cousins was selected to the All-Star game over Damian Lillard. Some of you are happy, you would rather he get the rest and go beast mode on the league in retaliation. The rest are livid, how the hell could they pick a head case whose team is on the outside peeping through the playoff window, hoping to catch a glimpse of success? Surely the majority can agree that Damian Lillard deserves to be an all-star, regardless of whether or not you want him to be one. After all he has the 6th highest win share(7.0) in the league! So he was left off by the coaches, ho-hum - they make mistakes all of the time. Certainly the commissioner will make the right choice, he's seemingly made all the right choices so far! But what is this?...It can't be, Adam Silver passed on Lillard. Is Silver a rocket fan in disguise, still licking his wounds? Does he not watch Blazer games? Or is there something else going on?

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    Perhaps you remember the Nationally televised game(TNT) during which Damian Lillard wore a white headband sporting the NBA logo in front? It ended up causing quite the commotion, but why exactly is that? The commotion was surely caused because it was something out of the ordinary, because just like that Damian became Mr. Headband, if only for 48 minutes. This was something new and unfamiliar for Dame, a thought that resonated with Blazer and Basketball fans alike. However what we didn't realize until now was that this was the moment Lillard agreed to make a sacrifice for the greater good.
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    It was January 8th and the Blazers were set to take on the Miami Heat. It had been exactly one week since Lillard and Silvers meeting in a dark alley. We can only speculate about the exact conversation, but we do know minor details of what took place. Silver approached Lillard and said "I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse". If you are willing to give up your status as an all star, and embrace the snub mentality, we will see to it that you get preferential treatment. No more driving to the rim and being upset about a lack of foul calls, these calls will occur much more frequently. My sources at BlazersEdge tell me that Mr. Silver then explained the reasoning behind this decision to Lillard.

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    Fans are fans, and we always have their loyalty for their love of the game. But bandwagoners, badwagoners need a story. For the same reason the NFL loves controversy, when your name is in somebodies mouth, you are on their mind. When you are on their mind, you have their attention. I want you to be our story coming into the post season. The player who got snubbed, look at what he does for himself, what he does for his team. What were we thinking leaving him off of the All-Star team, how ridiculous. We notice you already have an established reputation for getting snubbed, this is why you are the perfect candidate to play the main character in our story. It's nothing's new, just another log upon your overly ubundant supply of firewood!
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    We all know what happened next. Lillard wore the headband sporting the NBA logo on the front, signifying his agreement to Mr. Silvers proposition. Now all that is left is for Lillard to do his part, come out and stay aggressive, enjoying the fruits of his labor. So what if he missed the All-Star game this year, in the end he's gained something far more valuable... The favor of the NBA's Don.

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    Now if only these shoes would stop holding him back!
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2015
  2. Duvalier

    Duvalier Active Member

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    Lol...that's great.
     
  3. PDXFonz

    PDXFonz I’m listening

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    While this is extreme, I do believe the NBA will headline Lillards All-Star snub when talking about the blazers for the rest of the season. Today's society has a relatively short attention span, partially thanks to technology which provides a constantly changing situation. I suspect the buzzer beater against Houston was a bit too played out for the average (non Blazer) fan. They will surely mention it, but I think it is too old and dried up to be used as a headline for this years playoffs.
     
  4. BBert

    BBert Weasels Ripped My Flesh

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    Nice piece of fiction.

    So when does Dame start getting these calls?
     
  5. Fez Hammersticks

    Fez Hammersticks スーパーバッド Zero Cool

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    .......trade for DMC?
     
  6. MAS RipCity

    MAS RipCity Mercy, Mercy

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    Agreed ... we shot one free-throw through three quarters tonight.
     
  7. BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94

    BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94 AWOL

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    I wish, I'd trade anyone besides Dame+LA for him.
     
  8. Orion Bailey

    Orion Bailey Forum Troll

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    Yeah and it was atrocious. Some pretty poor officiating last night. There was one drive Lillard made where he literally was bear hugged by three guys and never got the call. Seriously. It was pretty bad last night. I thought Lillard did a good job of trying to continue to drive and not settle for 60' long 3pt shots, but they were just not giving him the calls he mostly deserved.
     
  9. julius

    julius Global Moderator Staff Member Global Moderator

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    Simply put, the coaches and the commish didn't vote him in as an All Star this year because this was a kind of intervention.

    "....Damian, we're all here to help you. You need to stop drinking like a fish"
     
  10. Fez Hammersticks

    Fez Hammersticks スーパーバッド Zero Cool

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    25/13 with a 25 PER

    That's hard to beat. DMC's numbers are crazy.
     
  11. PDXFonz

    PDXFonz I’m listening

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    Mark Thursday February 5th on your calendar as the first possibe date for the fix. It needs to be subtle yet effective. The best way to implement this is on a stage where he will be talked about as a snub. Is it a coincidence that we play the team who fouls the 5th most on TNT, the same network which broadcasted the game that dame wore the infamous headband? I think not!

    Nobody will suspect anything if Phoenix fouls him a lot, they do that. What a perfect game to start bringing his fouled % up!
     
  12. KingSpeed

    KingSpeed Veteran

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    Love had great numbers on a loser too.
     
  13. KingSpeed

    KingSpeed Veteran

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    Great thread by the way.
     
  14. Fez Hammersticks

    Fez Hammersticks スーパーバッド Zero Cool

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    Since his snub:

    2-19 from three
    12 turnovers
    30 FG%
    0-2 road trip
     
  15. Fez Hammersticks

    Fez Hammersticks スーパーバッド Zero Cool

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    Browsing RealGM and a few other active forums, Lillard is getting bashed by other fanbases over his tweet. Outside Houston Lillard is generally liked. Now? Apparently he's a whiny bitch who is discrediting the All-Stars who made the team.
     
  16. Strenuus

    Strenuus Global Moderator Staff Member Global Moderator

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    Hence why I made my "dames' attitude" thread.
     
  17. BBert

    BBert Weasels Ripped My Flesh

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    Oops.

    While it was often commented here Dame changed his statement to not piss off Silver, I thought his PR rep was responsible. This is why.

    He's just taken this "I'm so disrespected and now I'll make you pay" meme too far.

    He needs to give it a rest.

    Dame should have just congratulated the players who made it and said this just shows he needs to work harder. People respect that. Instead he comes off sounding whiney and entitled.

    It's not too late. He just needs to get his new message out. (See above.)
     
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  18. Strenuus

    Strenuus Global Moderator Staff Member Global Moderator

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    And a few people got on me for saying he -may- have sounded whiny. lol.
     

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