Forum Game Which Tool Are The Players?

Discussion in 'Portland Trail Blazers' started by Jade Falcon, Feb 6, 2019.

  1. Jade Falcon

    Jade Falcon Just to piss you off.

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    I was looking at my Leatherman PST today, and I suddenly got an idea; a game we can play.

    If each of our players was a Leatherman or Swiss Army tool, which tool would they be?

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    1) Straight-edge knife: Dame. Good general knife for most chores, and razor sharp. The most popular, most used tool of all.

    2) Serrated Edge knife: CJ. The right knife for the right circumstances, but also has a tendency to be a one-dimensional tool.

    3) Pliers/Wire cutter: Nurk. Powerful grip, biggest tool (in a good way :biglaugh:), and most versatile instrument. He can cut tough defense, and is strong with the ball. Most of the time.

    4) File: I was a little unsure on this.....someone who grinds? So Leonard or Seth, perhaps?

    5) Philips Head screw driver: Aminu. Because he can screw you in multiple ways. But he can fail at times and chip and damage your screw head (in this case, the lead) when you are trying to screw into a stubborn object.

    6) Cork Screw: Layman. Because he'll screw you with a pop of a (cork) shot when you lapse on Defense while guarding him.

    7) Leather Punch: Collins. Completely useless tool with no defined roll. Is he a knife? A punch? And who the fuck is going to punch or cut leather with it?

    8) Tweezers: Turner. Because of course he gets lost when you need him most. And while he's the most desired object in the whole arsenal, you don't really want to pay so much money on the whole tool kit just to get a tiny pair of tweezers.

    Come up with your own list. Tell me who you think would be what tool. Have fun!
     
  2. RR7

    RR7 Well-Known Member

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    Swanigan is the tooth pick. You generally forget it's there, occasionally find it by accident. It theoretically could be useful for some tasks, but you never actually wanna use it.
     
  3. Jade Falcon

    Jade Falcon Just to piss you off.

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    LMAO, very nice.
     
  4. theprunetang

    theprunetang Project Pat with 20+ mpg

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    Dame is the bottle opener because he drinks like a fish.
     
  5. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    Jake is a knife...he mades fast cuts to the hoop
    CJ is a cork screw...he finds a way to open a tight cork
    Dame is the scissors...he cuts up a defense
    Nurk is the punch...just because
    Chief is a phillips head screw driver...doesn't cost much and you use it all the time
    Mo is a pair of pliers...when you need something removed...he comes in handy
    ET is a flat head screwdriver...he has one purpose
    Meyers is a floor jack....you need him when the tires go flat until you put on a new one
    Zach is a hammer..likes to hit things hard
    Biggie is a vice grip...see Zachs nose
    Seth is a wire cutter...because I didn't know what else to call him
    Simons is a zip tie
    Trent is an impact driver
    Rodney is a pipe wrench because he's left handed
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2019
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  6. RR7

    RR7 Well-Known Member

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    Your swiss army knife has a floor jack,hammer, and impact driver?! How do you fit that damn thing in your pocket?
     
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  7. ThePosterFormerlyKnownAsTheHCP

    ThePosterFormerlyKnownAsTheHCP NorthEastPortland'sFinest

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    All your sisters and wives are hoes! #BAM
     
  8. e_blazer

    e_blazer Rip City Fan

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    Geez, aren’t you still on Fantasy Island hoping the missus will throw you a quickie?
     
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  9. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    He has to blow it up first himself and I think he named it Russell's Wetbutt or something like that
    sheep.jpg
     
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