www.niggaslike.us The reason I post it is because it's made by an Orlando fan who lives here. He posts as Something Awful. I found this site way before I knew he was an Orlando fan, so I thought that was cool. It's a mock sports journal site. It has very explicit content. Mostly satirical. Before each season he writes a sentence or two about each player on each team. They are always great. They're called "Worst Time of the Year", and are divided by division. Go to the Archives section. Browse the site. Post **** you think is funny.
Here is the Worst Time of the Year, pre-2005-2006 season, so a lot of it isn't pertinent, but is still funny. Orlando Magic Stacey Augmon G/F 6’8 213 When a reporter tells you that you’re overrated and a piece of ****, maybe its time to hang em up? Nah, keep stealing money! Tony Battie F/C 6’11 240 El Busto, the traveling backup center, may actually stay on one team two years in a row. Don’t hold your breath though Ruben Boumtje Boumtje C 7’0 255 Thanks for coming back, Ruben. I would’ve had to edit my web template if you hadn’t made someone’s training camp roster Kelvin Cato C 6’11 275 Block some shots and catch errant alley-oop passes from Steve Francis: The life of an underachieving NBA center with a mammoth contract Travis Diener G 6’1 175 With a name like Travis, you usually only have two career options: a mechanic at a gas station or a country singer. Keyon Dooling G 6’3 195 The Magic promised him a starting job. Wow. Gone from 3rd string with the Clippers and Heat to a starter with the Magic is quite the jump. Wait, no it isn’t Steve Francis G 6’3 200 Nobody else on the team wanted to score anyway, Steve. Keep dribbling out that clock! Matt Freije F 6’10 240 Brian Cardinal, Jr. in his game and his looks. Neither is a good thing Pat Garrity F 6’9 238 Why would the Magic need to acquire any outside shooters when they have good ol’ Pat Garrity just waiting to hear his name called? How many other players have so many ailments while just waiting to have ball passed to them at the 3-point line? Even Tim Legler would be proud! Grant Hill F 6’8 225 Do you think Grant ever uses the expression “broke his ankles”? That is something to ponder when you are watching Rick Kamla on NBA TV talking about fantasy stats for 16 hours a day! Dwight Howard F 6’11 240 I’m just waiting for him to get caught with a transvestite hooker in Vegas with this complete and utter look of confusion on his face when they catch him. As they pull his head out of the man-made vagina, he’ll be crying and screaming, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!” Ken Johnson F/C 6’11 240 Got two offensive zeroes at center already? Sign one more, Orlando! Mark Jones G 6’6 215 You know what’s just super duper hilarious? Whenever a guy’s last name is Jones, people do the “Who is ____ Jones?” thing. That is so god damn funny! And when they slap on a Family Guy or Napoleon Dynamite quote, it just seals the deal Mario Kasun C 7’1 260 Have you ever seen a big fat kid who wants to be accepted so he gets a bunch of tattoos and piercings but he still walks like he has a ball of **** in his pants and tacks on the bottom of his feet? Well, picture that and then sign it for a couple million dollars to play a finesse sport and there you have the genius of Magic management and Mario Kasun Felipe Lopez G/F 6’5 195 Mr. High School superstar wants another shot at failing to live up to all of that potential he couldn’t even live up to at St. Johns. Terence Morris F 6’9 221 From promising lottery pick to a marginal talent and 2nd round draft pick. And you wanted to play with Steve Francis AGAIN? Jameer Nelson G 6’0 190 He has a productive season after Francis moves to the 2 guard spot. So what does Orlando do? They dangle him in trade discussions all year long and talk about moving Francis back to the point. Gee, Orlando, I have no idea why you are perpetually mediocre! Bo Outlaw F 6’8 220 If we really want to start winning gold medals in basketball again then we need to bring Bo to other countries and run free throw camps. “No no no, you’re doing it all wrong. You grip the ball with one hand, cock it back all the way behind your head, then make a face that indicates that you have drunk some very sour milk.” DeShawn Stevenson G 6’5 210 You’re a promising basketball player coming out of high school and the only opposing defense that hasn’t stopped you is an underage girl’s vaginal wall Hedo Turkoglu G/F 6’10 220 About as consistent as the cells in Rudy Tomjanovich’s bladder
this guy's pretty funny.... but everything is really out of date. his awards are from 2003. this has nothing to do with basketball, but here is a link to the funniest website i've ever visited. http://maddox.xmission.com/ edit: his funniest articles are in the archive section of the website.
