(Some of you may remember some of this accompilation. Thought it was time for a re-visit.) ...when you carry a picture of John Madden and Pat Summerall in your wallet and tell your friends they are your grandfathers. when you keep seeing Incredible Hulk ads and all you can think is, "He'd make an awesome defensive tackle." when you can't remember which foot to put which shoe on, but you have last seasons statistics filed alpha-numerically somewhere in your head! when you have more pictures of Dan Marino than you have of all your other family members combined. when you think Dan Marino IS a family member... when you yell at your kids Lombardi style.."WHAT THE HELLS GOING ON OUT THERE" when your pickup basketball game includes tackling?.No wait, that's the NBA....... when the only thing you can talk about in May is Football.... when you won't associate with some that drives a Bronco, Charger, Chief (old Jeep?), Ram Charger (double dip), Colt, Jaguar, Eagle (AMC), Falcon, ... are there more? when someone says Ram Charger and you immediately think, "John Hadl?" when you do Hank Stram impressions in your sleep..."65 Toss Power Trap, is gonna break wide open boys, 65 Toss Power Trap, I told you boys, woo hoo, yeah, 65 Toss Power Trap, popped wide open boys" when you purchase 15 Direct TV recievers and VCRs so you can tape every game, every week to study film. Also if you catalogue and store those tapes in your basement, under lock and key, surrounded with barbed wire and attack dogs. when you spend your time in the shower not singing, but practicing your cadence inflection..."Blue 17, Blue 17, seeeeeeeeeeeeeeet, Lather!"..."check it, check it, Red 80, Red 80, seeeeeeeeet, Rinse!" when you watch a 60 minute Sportscenter in May just in case John Clayton does an "Inside the Huddle" segment when you get ticked that "Operation Iraqi Freedom" coverage interrupts the sports coverage on your local news. when you call George Toma for lawn care tips if your heart skips a beat when you see the first preseason annual. (Usually Athlon's, but sometimes Lindy's) if you refer to your living room area as Dolfan Field. if you have green astroturf instead of living room carpet, with hash marks and yard lines clearly marked. if you have a goal post in back yard(or front yard) instead of basket ball goal in front driveway. if you have a mini-fridge next to recliner (Silver and Black) with Raiders logo when not a single beverage cup in your house is without a Raiders logo on it. if you refer to your bedroom as the redzone. if upon finishing a project at work, you slap your co-workers on the behind! when you wear your lucky Blue and Yellow underwear in the off season. When your wardrobe choices consist of home or away. if you refer to your divorce attorney as The Turk. if you can't wait for Mel Kiper to open a dating service. ....."She runs a slow 40, but has soft hands" ....."Will probably spend a lot of time on the 10 day disabled list with migraines" ....."Weak technique, but lots of raw skill and a strong upside" ....."Can play multiple positions" (I mean best friend, lover, future mom, cook, nurse ... Get your mind out of the gutter, guys.) ....."Teachable" ....."Thinking man's girlfriend" (librarian) ....."Motor is always running" if your wife calls you to bed and you run down the hall yelling "and...he...could...go...all...the...way!" if you refer to your wife as your "domestic coordinator."
Judging by some of these, I'd say someone has Dwo envy. For the Record, Marino is a member of the Dwo family If I'm ever so desperate to use a Mel Kiper dating service then the world ended 15 minutes ago.
I like the Hulk one because I actually do that. I do that with wrestlers as well. Imagine the Undertaker and Kane at DE or book-end Tackles.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (blackadder)</div><div class='quotemain'>Judging by some of these, I'd say someone has Dwo envy. For the Record, Marino is a member of the Dwo family</div> Acutally, some of those were posted by the Dwo.
Cowboy71, where did you find these? I had been thinking about starting this thread over since I started the first one in a land and time long since forgotten, but I knew there would be no way that I could recall all the great jokes. KC and I still talk about that thread. This is awesome!
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>when you purchase 15 Direct TV recievers and VCRs so you can tape every game, every week to study film. Also if you catalogue and store those tapes in your basement, under lock and key, surrounded with barbed wire and attack dogs.</div> Seems like common sense to me!
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (DolfanDale)</div><div class='quotemain'>Cowboy71, where did you find these? I had been thinking about starting this thread over since I started the first one in a land and time long since forgotten, but I knew there would be no way that I could recall all the great jokes. KC and I still talk about that thread. This is awesome!</div> We enjoyed putting them together so I C&P'ed it into Word and found them when I was cleaning out my computer recently.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Cowboy71)</div><div class='quotemain'><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (DolfanDale)</div><div class='quotemain'>Cowboy71, where did you find these? I had been thinking about starting this thread over since I started the first one in a land and time long since forgotten, but I knew there would be no way that I could recall all the great jokes. KC and I still talk about that thread. This is awesome!</div> We enjoyed putting them together so I C&P'ed it into Word and found them when I was cleaning out my computer recently.</div> I'm really glad you did. I've throughly enjoyed reading them again. if you dumped your last girlfriend because she took plays off and had a tendancy to avoid contact. if you've ever uttered the sentence, "She's okay, but she's no Suzy Kolber." if you've ever started an online petition to get Martin Grammatica on "Dancing with the Stars."
<font face="trebuchet ms,geneva" size="2">Here's a classic thread that might be fun to revisit as we ramp up toward the upcoming NFL season.</font>
