Still haven't found anything out yet. She tried to get a hold of her PO today, but she wasn't there. I am going to tell her PO that I am not ready for her to see Alec yet. And his mother is NOTORIOUS for "making changes" then going back to her normal ways. I have to be really careful with her because I have a forgiving\gullible heart.
PO? Probation Officer? Parole Officer? Is there some part of this story I've missed? I didn't know she's had previous problems with the law.
Oh yeah. Before all this happened, she went shopping one day with my son and left him in the car for 20 minutes. Someone called the cops on her and she got arrested for child neglect. That was how she lost custody in the first place. Then her PO and I decided to let her try and see my son again and this happens. So, I called her PO the other day and told her I am not ready to let her see my son. PO said "ok, you are in charge and she cannot see him until you let her." So, I am keeping him away from her until her probation is over.
Great advice here. I'm really happy to hear that your son is recovering, and that his mom at least got that idiot out of her life. It's perfectly natural to want to see your son and his mom reunited at some point. It's only natural to want to see your kid happy, and having a mom can be part of that. As a dad, you really should do your best to see them reunited after things have cooled off. It's almost certainly best for the kid. If it were me, I'd set out some clear deadlines when you are finally ready for them to reunite. For the first 12 months, only visits with your supervision. The second 12 months she can see him without you, provided one of her parents is there. If after two years things seem to continue to go well, then she can have unsupervised visits. Set these (or similar) rules out at the outset, and don't veer from them. Tell her if she screws up, the timeline starts over. Like you said, she is prone to daily "life changing". So give her the structure to really change. That's all, of course, assuming you retain control of the situation and a judge doesn't see things differently during custody.
Great advice. And that last part, I am 99.999999% sure I will retain control. My ex has felonies on her record for meth. Child Neglect charges on her record. Her family is well known in Washington County and the courts\judges HATE her father because he is always in there causing trouble, getting arrested. My criminal record is pretty clean with no felonies or anything that has to do with kids. I just have a possession of a firearm on my record. No biggie. Thanks for the advice though. I appreciate it.
Glad to hear things are going good for your son! As far as advice, I dont have anything else to add that hasnt already been said. Keep your head up BD... props for being a good dad and doing whats best for your son.
If her father is known by a judge (and not because they're neighbors or friends from school), I'm not so sure having her parents acting as supervisors during a visit is such a wise thing.
Her dad is very known by most judges in Wa County. And I agree, I do not feel comfortable leaving my son with her parents as supervisors!
yeah I agree too. He usually does not like to be in the spotlight at all, unless he is on TV. He wouldn't want his name involved in the case at all. He is a hard one to read. Sometimes you think he is on your side and other times no. Sometimes I can tell he is just fed up with his daughter, but blood is thicker than water and Rod is VERY into blood and his immediate family. Anyhow, bottom line, I do not want my son around his mother just yet. I need to make sure she is rehabilitated first.
Is she mentally stable? Would she be irrational? Has she been irrational in the past? I think it's completely normal to be happy that your son gets to see his mom. You feel good that he feels good, like any good parent would feel. I would not leave her alone with him for a long time. Trust takes only an instant to break, but a long time to gain back. With her track record, it seems like it will only be a matter of time before she fucks up again. String it out as long as you can and see if she can be responsible.
