Man that sucks, but Im a fuck up also so welcome to the club. I've been divorced for almost 10 years now and my actions that lead to the divorce still haunt me to this day. I am embarrased for who I was at the time, and it cost me one of the people I cared about most in my life, but I feel I have come through it a stronger person and I even feel that was a necessary lesson for me in life. Some advice that has helped me. 1) Love is not an emotion it is an ability. 2) Dont avoid yourself with booze, other drugs, women, video games, etc. Confront who you are and deal with the situations at hand. 3) Ask yourself why you do things and try to be honest. 4) Make it up to your soon to be exwife by being civil to her during your divorce and by putting your effort into being the best father you can. 5) Believe everything happens for a reason. 6) Suffering is a reaction to pain. You can't control you pain but you can control your suffering. Learn to enjoy your suffering. Good luck.
Amen to this one. I really respect anyone who can behave like a real adult around an ex, if only for the sake of kids. I can't imagine how hard it would be to do it.
you are just human. We all make mistakes, be ready for the next chapter in your life and do not repete the same mistakes. If you can not do it on your own, seek guidance as has been suggested. you have taken the first step, you see and have taken ownership of your failure, now you must go forward.
It may seem you have a lot to deal with. I bet if you get the drinking problem dealt with, the rest of the situation will become a lot better.
That was on a Saturday. Nice post, by the way. Says a lot about your own character. TPF, good luck on whatever it is you need to do to be a better man and a great father.
Is it "shit" for the people that has had it work for them? It wouldn't be for me, because I lack the faith to by into it, but I certainly wouldn't call any program that tries to help addicts as "shit". What have you done to help addicts?
AA doesn't have that great a success rate. I don't discourage it, but the bottom line is that nobody can stop drinking for you - it has to be a firm decision by the person who wants to quit. "Just don't drink again, period." That is the only guaranteed way to quit.
I'm not trying to argue the merits/success rate of AA. I just found the "higher power shit" to be right in line with the religious bigotry and intolerance we see from many of the far left on this board. Seemed like a bigoted statement to make in a thread that had nothing to do with religion.
There's merit to the "higher power shit" argument. On the other hand, if finding religion helps in a tough situation, I'm not going to put it down.
I love this forum. Any topic can go sideways. Wait, EVERY topic goes sideways. That's half the greatness of you all. Thanks all who responded to my post. It's all very helpful and emotional at the same time. I will fight this.
Just as those can choose to do what's right or wrong because in their moral fiber and they don't need the religion to puppeteer their life.
Like a melodramatic movie, you need some comic relief. So your thread becomes arguments over religion, whether PapaG feels insulted, etc. Anyone have ideas about how his divorce problem impacts gay issues, Obama vs Romney, and the war in Syria?
OK, Papa G. I apologize for using that word. I should have said "stuff". As to helping addicts, they are really the only ones who can help themselves. That's what I've learned from knowing some. There are those who can facilitate. Not my job because it's not my strength and I consider it too important to do a bad job at it.
people trying to derail this thread with political or personal garbage are out of line tpf, the drink is the problem man...ive always said, i might act on my impulses sober, but when im drunk, i actively seek them out, pretty much every decision i regret in my life was when i was drunk dial back the drinking as much as you can, just associate drinking with the mess you are in, and it will become less and less tasty as far as womanizing, if you were fucking other girls, you know in your heart that your wife wasnt the right one for you, and if she was, you dont deserve her being in love means you wouldnt want to sleep around in my estimation and try to look on the bright side of the pending divorce/whatever...more time to do your thing, more money?, and depending on your work schedule, it just might be more time with your kid as well...get yourself as right as possible in a hurry, work out, eat right, get your teeth whitened, the whole enchilada and then focus on the kiddo, you do that, and everything will be just fine
sounds like you got drunk a lot and fucked some girls. the drinking is the problem, because dudes wanna fuck girls. the mark of civility is not doing it, but the drink will hamper that task so yeah, stop the drinking obviously. be the better person and shit will get better real fast
