MIAMI BEACH, Fla. — Authorities say a South Florida man nearly drowned after jumping into a storm drain seeking a woman’s dropped keys — fortified first by chugging a bottle of rum to keep warm. Miami Beach police say Richard Brandenberg, 49, told the woman Tuesday that he had experience working in sewer systems and was willing to go in and look for her keys. Witnesses say Brandenberg then drank a half-pint of rum and smoked a cigarette, telling them it was to keep warm in the cold water. Police say Brandenberg went down twice, emerging each time to have another smoke. He didn’t come back up on the third try, and witnesses called 9-1-1. Authorities found Brandenberg by popping a nearby manhole cover, then performed CPR to revive him. Brandenberg is recovering at a local hospital. --The Associated Press
Thanks for lifting the restraining order, Spud! I promise it'll be a lot less creepy once you agree to marry me...
Hmmmm... where would the honeymoon be and how big is the diamond ring? That's what really matters here!
We can go anywhere you like, so long as my probation officer gives permission and we don't violate any of the other restraining orders in place. I'm looking for a "Where I Don't S'posed to Go" app for my phone, but I have a Blackberry so it may take a while. I'll have to get back to you on the ring. I need to finish cashing in cans before I figure out how much I can spend...
