Why I carry when I'm in the woods

Discussion in 'Blazers OT Forum' started by MARIS61, May 22, 2013.

  1. MARIS61

    MARIS61 Real American

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    http://www.nbcnews.com/id/51843358/...ers-killing/?lite&lite=obnetwork#.UZ0GU0qC2I8

    Cougars and bears and wolves and coyotes have never bothered me at all, but the risk of injury or death by dog attack on the trails has increased exponentially with the human population.

    From personal experiences I can tell you no law enforcement agency will enforce the existing laws for dog attacks unless a human victim dies or almost dies.

    If your pet or livestock is killed, or your child is mauled, (we have had both occur) they will claim they are powerless to cite the owner for a first offense which is not what the law says in Deschutes County or Clackamas County. In fact there is no such reference at all. Just another example of how useless law enforcement is as far as actually protecting the community. They're pretty much more on par with the garbage man. They come around after the fact and pick up the pieces.

    Same thing happened in this case and a woman died a horrible death due to the officer's laziness or dereliction of duty.

    When on public land please keep your dog leashed, as I do, because I won't hesitate to put it down if it shows aggression toward me or mine.
     
  2. Further

    Further Guy

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    The only time I ever looked into buying a gun was when I was living in Alaska. I saw so many bears, and after one particular incident where I was confronted by a bear 15 feet away, and had to play the harmonica as my only means of protection, I was looking to get a good hiking gun. I left AK soon after, so never bought one, but if I stayed I would have.
     
  3. mobes23

    mobes23 Well-Known Member

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    Pretty sure you don't have it, but I'd love to see video of that. What was your song choice?
     
  4. Further

    Further Guy

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    no video, wasnt playing a particular song, just a four bar blues because it came most naturally. I had heard that bears dont like metallic sounds, so i just started patting my pockets looking for something metal. First i grabbed my zipper, and started zipping up and down only to realize it was a plastic zipper. Oh man, I'm remembering back, its actually one of the best stories I have in my life, but all the details take a while to explain. It's one of those stories I tell once a year when friends ask for it at a pub or something like that. I have never written it all down, perhaps tonight, when I am not at work I'll try and write it out. The story includes a dog, a porcupine, the bear and giant crows, as well as myself, and my friend Sarah.
     
  5. jlprk

    jlprk The ESPN mod is insane.

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    It's 13 hours later. Where the hell is our story? How long do you expect us all to sit here waiting?

    I already know whose side I'm on. The porcupine.
     
  6. MickZagger

    MickZagger Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like the OP's a pussy. A real man would understand tactics to keep those animals docile.
     
  7. MARIS61

    MARIS61 Real American

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    Read my post.

    I provide the means for keeping mad dogs at large docile. Permanently.
     
  8. Further

    Further Guy

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    It's taking a bit of time to write it up, more installments to come.

    Part One - The Porcupine

    I was living in Juneau Alaska with my friend Sarah and her older than puppy but younger than dog, Hanna. Hanna was a sweet animal, a mix of German Shepard and Malamute, she was fuzzy, playful, and dumber than bendavis503.

    We had moved up to Juneau three months prior and had already made emergency visits to the veterinarian twice. Once because the dog ate too many rocks that had been covered with pan drippings while camping, and the second after a minor kerfuffle with a porcupine. Hanna grew into a wonderful dog of acceptable intelligence, but she spent her Alaskan days licking, chasing and eating her way through cold-weather flora and fauna, getting to know the local vets.

    I was working two menial jobs at the time, a Tex-Mex joint that brewed its own beer, and a health food store with as a deli cook and Sarah was a hotel clerk. The only time both of us had off was Sundays. So Sarah and I grabbed Hanna, loaded into the brown Volvo station wagon to head 30 minutes away for a picturesque hike on one of our favorite paths. This is a quick hike, a three mile jaunt through dense SE Alaskan rainforest, down past an area we had nicknamed Bear Shit Alley. BSA was just inside of the tree line of the forest, on the other side a large grassy rolling hill that went down to the mouth of a river. Bears would eat salmon or berries by the rivers edge, then wander just inside he tree line and drop tremendous loads of crap. Along BSA there were piles of dukie a foot high and full of seeds. Sarah and I would joke around that one day we would run into a bear squeezing one out.

    Sarah, Hanna and I walked through the forest, past BSA, and down towards the ocean. There was a lovely little cabin the forest rangers rented out on the way, followed by a steep hill covered in tall grass. As we approached the hill, Hanna bolts into the grass chasing what turned out to be a porcupine.

    Now many dogs would chase a small furry animal, fewer would chase a porcupine. Hanna pursued this pointy pest with gusto, leaping in the air and coming down only to yelp as she tried to bite the the quilled beast. Sarah and I were yelling as loudly as we could muster, trying to get Hanna to retreat and end the buffoonery. But alas, Hanna was determined and kept attacking. She would jump, attack, yelp, jump backward to recover, then repeat for another round. After several minutes, Hanna had completed her mission, killed the porcupine and was now returning to us. Hanna looked like Raputin with a full beard of quills. Quills in her cheeks, lips, nose, tongue, and even around her eyes and down one leg. She looked at us as if she were just realizing that she was fucked up. Her quill pierced tongue dangling out the left side of her mouth, trying to simultaneously keep the quills out of her mouth and pant heavily.





    More to come, I still need to write it
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2013
  9. jlprk

    jlprk The ESPN mod is insane.

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    Can't wait till the bear, unimpressed by your zipper tune, makes a request from the bar for a harmonica player like Billy Joel, while the crows fly in their Head Pecker.
     
  10. 3RA1N1AC

    3RA1N1AC 00110110 00111001

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    be prepared to prove your fear as legitimate in court i guess
     
  11. Further

    Further Guy

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    I'll write up some more tonight if I dont go out, or tomorrow during the day.
     
  12. Denny Crane

    Denny Crane It's not even loaded! Staff Member Administrator

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    It's a good idea to carry in the woods because you might otherwise get shot by MARIS61, who's carrying in the woods.
     
  13. MARIS61

    MARIS61 Real American

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  14. ABM

    ABM Happily Married In Music City, USA!

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  15. MARIS61

    MARIS61 Real American

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    Another child mauled to death due to a dog-owner's criminal-negligence.

    http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/201...tornado-survivor-killed-by-family-friends-dog

    A 5-year-old boy was killed when a 150-pound dog attacked him in Arkansas, where he was staying with family friends after his family's home was destroyed by a tornado that devastated Moore, Okla., last month, authorities said.

    The boy, whose name hasn't been released, was pronounced dead at a hospital Sunday after the dog attacked him about noon (1 p.m. ET) at a home in Jessieville, about 50 miles west of Little Rock, Garland County sheriff's deputies said.

    The dog ran off, and county animal control officers searched for it Sunday and Monday. The dog's body was found Monday afternoon after a friend of its owner shot it dead, authorities said.

    The boy and his 2-year-old sister were staying in Jessieville while their parents worked to rebuild after a powerful tornado killed 24 people and injured almost 400 others May 20 in Moore, near Oklahoma City....

    Authorities said the boy was upset and crying, which the dog, a Bullmastiff, possibly interpreted as an aggressive act.

    The dog's owner, Lynn Geiling, 50, a friend of the children's parents, told investigators she tried to pull the dog off the boy but got there too late. He was pronounced dead at Mercy Hospital in Hot Springs with severe lacerations to his head and his neck.

    Hinojosa said Monday that no decision had been reached on whether Geiling and her husband would face charges.

    The Bullmastiff isn't the same breed as the notorious pit bull terrier, which has often been bred to be an aggressive fighting dog. But it is bred to serve as a watchdog and to protect the home. The American Bullmastiff Association says the breed needs no special training to "react appropriately if his family is threatened."

    "Never leave a child unattended with your Bullmastiff," the association warns on its website. "They are pack animals and will find their natural place in the pack if left to natural processes. That place may be at the top of the pecking order instead of below younger family members if left unchecked."
     
  16. MarAzul

    MarAzul LongShip

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  17. jlprk

    jlprk The ESPN mod is insane.

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    What are they tasked to do? Which tiny minority in power gave them this false task?
     

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