It has come to my attention that Jason Quick no longer is allowed in any Duck locker rooms and is fast becoming again a nuisance to any and all Blazer players. My source who shall remain "Anonymous" seems to feel that he has a 50/50 chance of never writing another story that doesn't speculate on the departure of LaMarcus Aldridge? To make matter worse for the Oregonian it seems that their main editorial writer John Canzano must take a pay cut to stay on so they can possibly replace their leading speculator if Quick should in fact decide to leave? The real problems actually lurk much deeper in the entire team of Sports writers at the Big "O". They have a few up and coming stars leading the way back to respectability such as Mike Richman and Mike Tokito and for the most part many wonder if it is actually worthwhile to re-sign a writer that might actually be on the downswing of his career? Recently Quick was seen with a splint on his pinky finger also adding to speculation as to the health of the writer and whether he is able to keep up with the rigors of writing the same speculative piece for another 5-7 games should the Blazers actually defy all odds and make it to the second round? We already know for a fact that John Canzano seems to be out of shape for such things with his recent propensity for going "All Video" with his journalism. This has allowed him to dump just as many questions and drama stretching statements without ever having to actually raise a pen. The presence of his bald head continually on the post game reports wondering how a child could possibly bear the weight of not seeing "Streamers" fall from the Moda center ceiling just adds more to the speculation that there indeed might be a fracture in the relationships that have been so valuable to the O-Live team. This is all a dirty little mess that could very well all be the end of the O-Live sports team as we know it. But then again you never know right? Any and all who might also have some "Anonymous Speculation" please feel free to add them here as this is the perfect place to start such rumors that might have some factual fragments.
Quick and Canzano weren't particularly well liked in the press rooms when I frequented them... other journalists kind of joked about them behind their backs at the catering tables.
I am EXTREMELY disappointed by this unfortunate turn of events... Extremely disappointed that it's not 100/0. BNM
A couple of years ago, we read that Quick was no longer the Blazer beat writer. Then he came back. As I've written before, the paper's Editor and owners have set these roles, and refuse to change: Quick is an informer/infiltrator. Canzano is a moralist. You need to create the two massive classes of Bozos to stay in power.
Quick kicked my 3 month old puppy. I don't know why, he just wanted to sniff his shoes and then BAM, he sent my little guy clear across the room. Shits fucked up, man. I also have a source, let's call him Bernie, who said Canzano contracted a nasty STD from a tranny a couple years ago. It was in the bathroom of a Taco Bell, Bernie was very adamant on that detail.
J-Quix and Crapbaldo took off their jointsuits and relaxed into their holochairs. They had just finished shitting into each others asses for 148 straight moon cycles. The dual-suit fecal transfer tube had nearly eroded. "Dude, that shit was siiick" Crapbaldo gleefully crowed. "Sick as fuuuuuck" "Right?" J-Qwix agreed "Uber sick...like CRAZY sick." Crapbaldo could hardly contain himself. "Bro, I can't believe how sick that was! Like for real?! Dude...totally...fucking... sick!" J-Qwix suddenly realized...it was actually not sick, but instead super ratchet. "Bro, we suck." J-Qwix sighed. "That shit wasn't sick. It was fucked. We are fucked and we fucking suck. Hard. We are huge dicks bro." Crapbaldo misheard, but enthusiastically agreed in error. "Dude, I totally agree! I would totally love to fuck and suck some huge hard dicks! Bro! Epic!" Not that there's anything wrong with that. This continued for weeks, the sparsely populated mind orbs of both of our antiheroes rejecting all sense in order to derive drivel from the word spools. Yawn. What should their masters have done? You say they should have stuck their heads into the cyclonic noose? That they should have fed their atrophied limbs to the greater gorgon? The mystery confounded many, but Gher said it best... "Shit in, Shit out." I agree.
The Oregonian sports reporters and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
I just read about this on reddit. I think it might show up on Twitter too!https://www.reddit.com/r/ripcity/co...chance_quick_will_be_gone_next_year/?sort=top
I actually am not allowed to give you my real opinion and stories of Canzano and Quick. One day my friends..... one day.