Exclusive The official Lamarcus Aldridge free agency thread

Discussion in 'Portland Trail Blazers' started by illmatic99, Jun 28, 2015.

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  1. SlyPokerDog

    SlyPokerDog Woof! Staff Member Administrator

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    Breaking news: LaMarcus Aldridge takes so many team lunches and dinners he balloons up 400 pounds, flunks Spurs physical, asks to come back to Blazers.
     
    SlyPokerDog, Jul 2, 2015
    #1861
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  2. 0-Our!

    0-Our! Noob-ish

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    @ this point, he'll probably still not wanna play center BUT... @ least he can look like TWO centers! It'd b like we've got SIX guys on the court every time he's in!:hungry:
     
    0-Our!, Jul 2, 2015
    #1862
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  3. Wizard Mentor

    Wizard Mentor Wizard Mentor

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    a 1-man double team!
     
    Wizard Mentor, Jul 2, 2015
    #1863
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  4. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    His real hero is probably Oliver Miller...most graceful fat man to ever play the game
     
    riverman, Jul 2, 2015
    #1864
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  5. 0-Our!

    0-Our! Noob-ish

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    IF he ate even more... & got up to 600+... he could become the 1-man TRIPLE threat! :pig::pig::pig:!
     
    0-Our!, Jul 2, 2015
    #1865
    SlyPokerDog likes this.
  6. Chris Craig

    Chris Craig (Blazersland) I'm Your Huckleberry Staff Member Global Moderator Moderator

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    How many steaks can he eat?
     
    Chris Craig, Jul 2, 2015
    #1866
  7. BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94

    BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94 AWOL

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    Clogging not only lanes but arteries and toilets.
     
    BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94, Jul 2, 2015
    #1867
    Fun in the Sun, Orion Bailey, dviss1 and 2 others like this.
  8. SlyPokerDog

    SlyPokerDog Woof! Staff Member Administrator

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    There where time when Shawn Kemp was a very happy fat man when he played for the Blazers, he was high on coke but he was still very happy.
     
    SlyPokerDog, Jul 2, 2015
    #1868
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  9. 0-Our!

    0-Our! Noob-ish

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    IF all this eating was his real M.O., his hero would b a sandwich AND he'd idolize Miller too!:tongue:
     
    0-Our!, Jul 2, 2015
    #1869
  10. Natebishop3

    Natebishop3 Don't tread on me!

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    Coke heads aren't supposed to be fat. How did kemp manage that?


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
    Natebishop3, Jul 2, 2015
    #1870
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  11. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    He can't answer stupid questions with a mouthful of food...it's a good strategy
     
    riverman, Jul 2, 2015
    #1871
  12. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    diet coke
     
    riverman, Jul 2, 2015
    #1872
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  13. SlyPokerDog

    SlyPokerDog Woof! Staff Member Administrator

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    He snorted cocaine and Coca Cola. A true coke addict.
     
    SlyPokerDog, Jul 2, 2015
    #1873
  14. BBert

    BBert Weasels Ripped My Flesh

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    Perfect opportunity for Dame to extend an olive branch, show some love, and take a chance on developing that relationship that Aldridge should have instigated day one.
     
    BBert, Jul 2, 2015
    #1874
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  15. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    Making all those babies burned some calories off, I'm sure
     
    riverman, Jul 2, 2015
    #1875
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  16. Wizard Mentor

    Wizard Mentor Wizard Mentor

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    pics or it didn't happen...
     
    Wizard Mentor, Jul 2, 2015
    #1876
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  17. Sedatedfork

    Sedatedfork Rip City Rhapsody

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    Kemp's sperm >>> Michael Phelps
     
    Sedatedfork, Jul 2, 2015
    #1877
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  18. illmatic99

    illmatic99 formerly yuyuza1

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    Wtf still dining with Riley??

    Where's Dame?
     
    illmatic99, Jul 2, 2015
    #1878
  19. Chrionex

    Chrionex Fuck Texas

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    How long is this flight? I'm so glad I started drinking.
     
    Chrionex, Jul 2, 2015
    #1879
  20. magnifier661

    magnifier661 B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

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    I don't know when he left, but the flights from Paris are usually 11 hours traveling west
     
    magnifier661, Jul 2, 2015
    #1880
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