Religion Man hacks bank, tries to steal $7 billion because Jesus wanted him to, officials say

Discussion in 'Blazers OT Forum' started by SlyPokerDog, Feb 3, 2017.

  1. SlyPokerDog

    SlyPokerDog Woof! Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2008
    Messages:
    125,748
    Likes Received:
    146,005
    Trophy Points:
    115
    An unemployed Lakeland man has entered a guilty plea on charges he made $7 billion in fraudulent wire transfers because Jesus wanted him to be wealthy, court documents say.

    In a heavily redacted criminal complaint, John Michael Haskew was accused of setting up the wire transfers on Dec. 9 and 10 from “a large, nationally renowned financial institution.”

    Investigators were tipped off to the suspicious wire transfers on Dec. 12, saying Haskew had processed numerous transactions totaling more than $7 billion.

    Haskew told agents he was “self-taught on the banking industry” and figured out how to make the fraudulent wire transfers through experimentation, the complaint said.

    When asked why he continued to make the wire transfers, Haskew told investigators that he believed he deserved the money, court documents said.

    “(He stated) that Jesus Christ created wealth for everyone,” the criminal complaint said. “Using this scheme, Haskew believed that he could obtain the wealth that Jesus Christ created for him and that belonged to him.”

    http://www.wftv.com/news/local/lake...e-jesus-wanted-him-to-officials-say/490337559
     
  2. MarAzul

    MarAzul LongShip

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Messages:
    21,370
    Likes Received:
    7,281
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Life is good!
    Location:
    Near Bandon Oregon
    I call on Jesus every once in a while, much to the annoyance of my wife. But he never tells me shit.
     
    SlyPokerDog likes this.
  3. rasheedfan2005

    rasheedfan2005 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2013
    Messages:
    8,543
    Likes Received:
    4,673
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Jesus, jose, and jorge all wanted him to be rich so he could buy their weed, esse.
     
  4. rasheedfan2005

    rasheedfan2005 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2013
    Messages:
    8,543
    Likes Received:
    4,673
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Mine usually goes something like "lord i need financial freedom." 20 minutes later my house burns down, and that still small voice says "no more bills"
     
    stampedehero likes this.
  5. rasheedfan2005

    rasheedfan2005 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2013
    Messages:
    8,543
    Likes Received:
    4,673
    Trophy Points:
    113
    This guy must have been listening to joel olsteen and td jakes. Name it and claim it! Believe harder!
     
  6. stampedehero

    stampedehero Make Your Day, a Doobies Day Staff Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2015
    Messages:
    12,451
    Likes Received:
    9,269
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Part Time Building Inspector
    Location:
    NJ
    But Jesus was betrayed for 30 pieces of silver. I would say that if I was the prosecuting attorney.
     
    SlyPokerDog likes this.

Share This Page