OT Coronavirus: America in chaos, News and Updates. One million Americans dead and counting

Discussion in 'Blazers OT Forum' started by SlyPokerDog, Jan 3, 2020.

  1. Orion Bailey

    Orion Bailey Forum Troll

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    Reads like English to me.
     
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  2. CupWizier

    CupWizier Well-Known Member

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    Uh, I come here to find out news about the coronavirus, not English, Japanese or about Coffee. Please stay on subject. :bgrin: :breakdance:
     
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  3. yankeesince59

    yankeesince59 "Oh Captain, my Captain".

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    lol...I saw what you did there.
     
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  4. SlyPokerDog

    SlyPokerDog Woof! Staff Member Administrator

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    upload_2020-5-12_13-58-42.png

    COVID-19 cases spike by 1,000% in a WEEK in Tennessee and Kansas counties, as infections rise across US, unreleased White House report reveals - despite Trump claiming they're down
    • An unreleased White House COVID-19 taskforce report shows that cases area increasing in pockets of the United States
    • The data in the report was included in a May 7 task force report that pinpoints counties that have seen spikes in a week compared to the previous seven days
    • Tennessee's Trousdale County, which is just outside Nashville, saw the biggest spike with infections increasing by more than 1,000 percent
    • Huge increase is due to an outbreak at the Trousdale Turner Correctional Center where nearly 1,300 inmates and 50 staffers recently tested positive
    • Leavenworth County in Kansas, just west of Kansas City, has also seen its infections increase by 1,000 percent over a week with 587 new cases reported
    • Wisconsin, which reported more than 2,300 new cases in a week, has seen a more than 100 percent spike in case in both Racine and Kenosha counties
    • Rising cases in these small emerging hotspots come as infections across the US surpassed 1.3 million with more than 81,000 deaths
    • The majority of states across the US have now started to gradually reopen with Trump pushing for people to get back to work and to reopen the economy
    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8311963/Tennessee-Kansas-home-counties-COVID-19-spikes.html
     
  5. BigGameDamian

    BigGameDamian Well-Known Member

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  6. CupWizier

    CupWizier Well-Known Member

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    That is shocking as I have always thought of trump as being a caring and thoughtful person that would never lie to us.
     
  7. SlyPokerDog

    SlyPokerDog Woof! Staff Member Administrator

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    Finally the truth has been exposed!

    A lot of people have been asking me what it's like being on the COVID wards in the hospital, so I figured I'd share what a typical day looks like for me:

    6am - Wake up. Roll off of my pile of money that Big Pharma gave me. Softly weep as it doesn’t put a dent in my medical school loans

    6:30am - Make breakfast, using only foods from the diet that gives me everlasting life by avoiding all fats, sugars, carbs, and proteins. For details buy my book and check out my shop.

    7am - Get to work, load up my syringes with coronavirus before rounds.

    8am - See my patients for the day. Administer the medications that the government tells me to. Covertly rub essential oils on the ones I want to get better.

    9:30am - Call Bill Gates to check how 5G tower construction is going, hoping for more coronavirus soon. He tells me they’re delayed due to repairs on the towers used to spread the Black Plague. Curse the fact that this is the most efficient way to spread infectious diseases.

    10am - One patient tells me he knows “the truth” about coronavirus. I give him a Tdap booster. He becomes autistic in front of my eyes. He’ll never conspire against me again.

    11am - Tend to the secret hospital garden of St. John’s wort and ginkgo leaves that we save for rich patients and donors.

    12:30pm - Pick up my briefcase of money from payroll, my gift from Pfizer for the incomprehensible profits we make off of the free influenza vaccine given every year.

    1pm - Conference call with Dr. Fauci and the lab in Wuhan responsible for manufacturing viruses. Tell them my idea about how an apocalypse-style zombie virus would be a cool one to try for the next batch.

    2pm - A patient starts asking me about getting rid of toxins. I ask her if she has a liver and kidneys. She tells me she knows “the truth” about Big Anatomy and that the only way to detoxify herself is to eat nothing but lemon wedges and mayonnaise for weeks. I give her a Tdap booster.

    2:45pm - Help the FBI, CIA, and CDC silence the masses. Lament the fact that I can only infringe on one or two of their rights. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

    4pm - One of my rich patients begins to crash. Laugh as I realize I’ve mismatched her spirit animal and zodiac moon sign. I switch out the Purple Amethyst above her bed for a Tiger’s Eye geode. She stabilizes. I throw some ginkgo leaves on her for good measure

    6pm - Go onto YouTube and see coronavirus conspiracy videos everywhere. Curse my all powerful government for how inept they are at keeping people from spreading “the truth”

    6:10pm - Go onto Amazon and see that a book about “the truth” is the #1 seller this week. Question the power of my all powerful government. Make a reminder to myself to get more Tdap boosters from the Surgeon General next time we talk.

    7pm - Time to go home. Before I leave, sacrifice a goat to Dr. Fauci and say three Hippocratic Oaths.

    9pm - Take a contented sigh as I snuggle under the covers made of the tinfoil hats of my enemies, realizing that my 4 years of medical school and 3 years of residency training have been put to good use today.
     
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  8. BigGameDamian

    BigGameDamian Well-Known Member

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    Either your drunk or making a joke.
     
  9. CupWizier

    CupWizier Well-Known Member

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    Hmmm? Seeing as how I don't drink ................
     
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  10. BigGameDamian

    BigGameDamian Well-Known Member

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  11. yankeesince59

    yankeesince59 "Oh Captain, my Captain".

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  12. magnifier661

    magnifier661 B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

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  13. BigGameDamian

    BigGameDamian Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  14. EL PRESIDENTE

    EL PRESIDENTE Username Retired in Honor of Lanny.

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  15. BigGameDamian

    BigGameDamian Well-Known Member

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  16. julius

    julius I wonder if there's beer on the sun Staff Member Global Moderator

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    Someone needs attention.
     
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  17. PDXFonz

    PDXFonz I’m listening

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    I’ll use this thread to tell you that I drove past you near Tigard HS today. Almost honked at you, wish I would have and yelled out your name so you would be like “who dat!?!” :biglaugh:

    PS - Nice jacket!
     
  18. THE HCP

    THE HCP NorthEastPortland'sFinest

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    EH-stray dog.jpg
     
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  19. SlyPokerDog

    SlyPokerDog Woof! Staff Member Administrator

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    I was nowhere near Tigard today.
     
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  20. Strenuus

    Strenuus Global Moderator Staff Member Global Moderator

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    I'm able to leave my house... we all are.

    I wouldn't post stuff like this without seeing the results of what that does.
     
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