Here's a couple to start you off: My mate decides that everywhere is a toilet when he's pissed. After a heavy night out, he went to the kebab shop, got his large doner and walked home. Last thing he remembers the next morning is leaving the pub at about 11.30pm. He wakes up on the couch with this weird smell in his living room. He stands up and focuses and his girlfriend is standing at the door, mouth wide open in shock and staring at the home entertainment stand (TV, Stereo, DVD etc). He looks over and when he got home, thinking he was in the toilet, he'd pissed all over the TV and stereo and shit on the floor in front of the TV. His missus refused to speak to him for four days and he had to clean up his own piss and shit with a raging hangover. My mates and I were walking home pissed-up from a party and we found one of those massive cardboard tubes from the middle of rolls of carpets. We picked it up and were throwing it at each other, shouting down it etc. Anyway, we came to a big, wide road that was empty apart from 3 cars and decided to have a giant roll javelin contest. My friend Matt couldn't throw it like a javelin because he was too short so he threw it like a hammer (spin around and release). Only he span around too many times, got dizzy, halfway through spinning, he threw up all over himself and lobbed the tube and it went through someone's living room window. We all ran off laughing really hard and Matt was still throwing up as he ran. We got about 5 or 6 streets away and stopped running and Matt passed out in the gutter so we had to pick him up and carry him home for about another mile and a half. This was all after a pretty manic party and was absolutely genius. I've never laughed so much.
lol! well funny shit that is m8, well i got soo many drunken tales but i'll tel u one, one night, i went to for a booze up, towards the end of the night, i needed to go to the toilet really bad, coz ma bladder is weak lmao anyway i cudnt find the toilets due to having the beer goggles on, but i managed to find a disabled toilet i was thinkin nah nobody will be in here at this time of the night, so i walked in to find.... wait for it, a girl having a piss and another by the side of her as they usually do lol, anyway....... i rememba saying "c'mon i ain got all day," then i jus stood there watching the woman having piss, dun ask me why, but anyway as i was waiting this big dude came behind me looked like he was on roids i was like shit wha have i done now, he sed to me "what the fuck do u think you're doing looking at ma missues on the toilet" i was bricking them at the time coz obviously he wud of kicked ma ass!, but a few seconds later he sed "only joking butt, i dont really know her, i jus wanted to see your reaction" i was so embarrsed this was quite along time ago and still to this day the lads still rip the piss into me for that moment, lol pretty strange drunken story but hey lol thought id share it seen as everyone knows bout it haha lol jus to clear this up i dont like staring at women on the toilet, i was completley steaming and had no idea what the hell i was doing! lol anyway jus thought id add that
ermmm. Got Drunk. Had a fight with some people. Ended up in the A&E department. Went Home. Thats all i remember
