New Rules Make NBA Something It's Not

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">New NBA rules have cost the Nuggets one basketball game already, the first one when Carmelo Anthony was ejected for frowning, or maybe it was gasping. Tsk. Tsk. Mustn't do that.

A lesson learned is a lesson earned. There is a new sheriff in town, and in the arena, so that to be in the NBA you must be a solid citizen, an obedient player and keep your shirt tucked in.

This goes for fans, too. Applaud politely, please. And ignore the scoreboard that urges you to GET LOUD!

Fans may not agitate and players may not aggravate. Cream cakes will be served with tea in the parlor.

There are so many new rules, certainly some of them will be violated out of ignorance, such as not ripping your warm-ups off when you come into a game. I have not read the actual ordinance, but I am guessing you must fold and crease your clothing, leave it on your chair and check your appearance for extra long nose hair.

This is supposed to speed up the game, though how taking your warm-ups off at your chair is any quicker than ripping them off as you stride toward the scorer's table is unclear. What it really means is, do not call attention to yourself.

No more long tights under your shorts either, or those long compression socks, which do look stupid. That's the players. As far as I know, fans may still dress anyway they like, except they may not mock tonsorially any more than they may verbally.

A fan in Orlando, Fla., was ejected from the arena for a racial slur of Dikembe Mutombo. His season tickets were revoked and he was banned from all NBA games for the rest of the season.

This seems reasonable. Right here in Denver, former Nuggets coach Dan Issel was essentially removed from the NBA forever for a similar indiscretion, hurling an ethnic insult at a fan. </div>

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