Hilarious Player Quotes

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">? Rasheed Wallace, before the start of the 2006-07 season, on prognosticators overlooking Detroit: ?I?m glad. We don?t have no poster boys. We play team basketball, and they aren?t looking for that. But come playoff time, I guarantee you those same people that counted us out will be back on our jocks.?

? Wallace, hours before the announcement that the league was going back to using the old ball: ?Man, if they switch balls, hell will freeze over. I will tell you that.?

? ?Sheed again, this time on Argentina?s Carlos Delfino after he got into a tangle with Dallas? Jerry Stackhouse: ?Carlos ain?t no punk. Shoot, they kidnap people where he comes from.?

? San Antonio coach Gregg Popovich, asked when he planned to return Manu Ginobili to the starting lineup: ?Go ask (Dallas Cowboy coach) Bill Parcells. He?s better at handling these kind of controversies.?

? Popovich, after Houston?s Tracy McGrady scored 21 in the first half of a game against the Spurs: ?He distributed the ball well. He distributed it right in the hole, and it killed us.?

? The Spurs? Brent Barry, on the transition from the new NBA ball to the old one: ?Unless it?s square, I don?t think I?m going to have a problem.?

? Chicago coach Scott Skiles, on his players? reaction to criticism of them in the newspaper from him and Bull General Manager John Paxson: ?You?re making an assumption they even read it. I wouldn?t necessarily make that assumption. We just happen to be in a time when there are an awful lot of players who aren?t paying attention to a whole lot that goes on outside their own little worlds. It?d be simple to find out. You could go around the league and ask who the vice president of the United States is and see who the answer is. I think you?d be surprised.?

? Skiles, on the controversy with center Ben Wallace over headbands: ?I was losing my hair so quickly when I played, maybe I should?ve worn one.?

? Cleveland guard Damon Jones, on his pulchitrude: ?If being ugly was a crime, I couldn?t be convicted.?

? Jones, asked by a reporter why he doesn?t answer his phone calls anymore: ?I make too much money to answer my own phone.?

? Well-traveled forward Ruben Patterson, the former Blazer, on Rose Garden fans? reaction during his first return as a member of the Denver Nuggets: ?They kept saying, ?Ruben, come back, we need you.? I was like, ?No.? ?

? Patterson, after playing well in a win at Sacramento despite a sore knee: ?I didn?t think I was going to play tonight, but you know me. I?m a warrior.?

? Miami?s Shaquille O?Neal, asked if he considers Dallas? Erick Dampier one of the best centers in the league: ?Yeah, the WNBA.?

? Shaq, asked why Laker owner Jerry Buss keeps talking about the trade that sent him to Miami: ?He misses me. It?s like an old girlfriend. If you break up with me, you feel it more than I do.?

? Miami coach Pat Riley, at the suggestion he is too demanding of his players: ?Trying is man?s invention. Doing is what it?s all about.?

? Riley, on plans to wear his 2006 championship ring daily: ?Unless it?s too heavy. (Then) I might get a neck pain from it.?

? Stephon Marbury, on his first and only season with Larry Brown and the New York Knicks: ?I have no regrets at all. Regret is like cancer.?

? Brown, after the Knicks improved their record to 7-18 with a New Year?s Day victory: ?I told (the players), ?We?re bowl-eligible. We have seven wins.? ?

? Portland?s Raef LaFrentz, then with Boston, on the high-priced, low-win Knicks: ?They might be the best worst team ever.?

? Cleveland reserve Scot Pollard, on what the Cavaliers could expect in return for him in a trade: ?Cleveland would take a 12-pack in return. They wouldn?t just take anything like Keystone Light. It would have to be one of those expensive Belgian beers.?

? Laker star Kobe Bryant, after Washington?s Gilbert Arenas torched his team for 60 points: ?He doesn?t seem to have much of a conscience. Some of the shots he took, you miss those and they?re just terrible shots. Awful.?

? Chicago forward Andres Nocioni, on his chances of making the All-Star game: ?C?mon, man. It?s impossible. I am not a star.?

? Houston coach Jeff Van Gundy, on Dikembe Mutombo?s elbows: ?Deke is like a tornado. He sets a destructive path. Sometimes it hurts those you love the most.?

? Charlotte?s Gerald Wallace, about Miami superstar Dwyane Wade: ?He gets all the calls. That?s what makes him special.?

? Utah?s Derek Fisher, on the value of confidence: ?Confidence breeds more confidence. That?s how you succeed.?

? Utah coach Jerry Sloan, on the same subject five minutes later: ?Confidence breeds complacency. You start to think, ?We don?t have to work hard.? ?

? Detroit coach Flip Saunders, when TV analyst Scottie Pippen said the Pistons had forgotten how to play defense: ?Scottie must have had a migraine headache when he said that.?

? Philadelphia coach Maurice Cheeks, asked if he intended to watch Allen Iverson?s minutes in the then-76er superstar?s first game back after an ankle injury: ?Yeah, I?m going to watch all 48 of them.?

? Blazer Juan Dixon, asked how Christmas ?05 went with him and his new wife, Robyn, at their Portland home: ?We had a great day, just the two of us, watching football and basketball all day long.? (At least it was great for him.)

? Blazer TV voice Mike Barrett, on the new hairstyle worn by former Portland center Ha Seung-Jin: ?He?s not a guy who?s afraid to change his look.?

? Toronto?s Mo Peterson, asked if he were tired after playing all but three minutes in consecutive games: ?No. Me and tired, that?s just like water and oil. They don?t mix.?

? Boston reserve Brian Scalabrine, on being booed by Celtic fans for not producing much after signing a five-year, $15 million contract: ?I think there were unfair expectations. They probably thought I was coming in to be the next Larry Bird. But hey, that ain?t me. I wish I was. But that?s not really my game.?

? Cleveland?s Zydrunas Ilgauskas, after a 10-game road trip: ?I came home and my dog barked at me.?

? Writer Peter Vecsey, after New York GM Isiah Thomas made another trade for Knicks: ?God makes ?em, and Lord Thomas mismatches ?em.?

? NBA executive Stu Jackson, on the new basketball introduced in 2006-07: ?If it?s not broke, break it and make it better.?

? Runner-up for quote of the year, by Portland coach Nate McMillan after his team blew a 17-point fourth-quarter lead before winning by two against Toronto in January: ?When you ?F? with the game, the game will ?F? with you.?

? And our favorite one of the year, compliments of Sacramento?s Ron Artest, while making a plea for himself to be a member of the 2008 U.S. Olympic team: ?I?m an American. I may not be a class act, but I?m an American.?</div>

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<div class="quote_poster">MrJ Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">My favorite. Does Shaq really dislike Erick Dampier? I remember when he was in the playoffs he said something like "I'm playing terrible, almost like Erick Dampier.</div>

He used to refer to him as Ericka Dampier. This spat started a few seasons ago when Dampier said he could shutdown Shaq. It was his final year with the Warriors and statistically Dampier was most effective at slowing Shaq down. Someone brought it to Shaq's attention and the feud started.

 

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">• Cleveland’s Zydrunas Ilgauskas, after a 10-game road trip: “I came home and my dog barked at me.”</div>

This one is hilarious.