An old but still ruggedly handsome Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally, the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously!? I mean, no sex since 1955!?" Feeling charitable and a little bit drunk, she took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!" The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."
email addresses I don't want to make another thread, so... Many colleges and businesses tend to strip the last name down to 6 characters and add the first and last initial to either the beginning or end to make up an e-mail address. For example, Mary L. Ferguson = mlfergus or fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize the problems that may happen when you have a large and diverse pool of people to choose from. Add to that a large database of company/college acronyms and you have some very funny addresses. Probably not funny to the individual involved, however: TOP TEN Actual E-mail Addresses =============================== 10. Hellen Thomas Eatons (Duke University) - eatonsht@dku.edu 9. Martha Elizibeth Cummins (Fresno University) - cumminme@fu.edu 8. George David Blowmer (Drop Front Drawers & Cabinets Inc.) - blowmegd@dropdrawers.com 7. Mary Ellen Dickinson (Indiana University of Pennsylvania) - dickinme@iup.edu 6. Francis Kevin Kissinger (Las Verdes University) - kissinfk@lvu.edu 5. Barbara Joan Beeranger (Myplace Home Decorating) - beeranbj@myplace.com 4. Amanda Sue Pickering (Purdue University) - aspicker@pu.edu 3. Ida Beatrice Ballinger (Ball State University) - ibballin@bsu.edu 2. Bradley Thomas Kissering (Brady Electrical, Northern Division, Overton Canada) - btkisser@bendover.com 1. Isabelle Haydon Adcock (Toys "R" Us) - ihadcock@tru.com
