Marine Retirment Bonus

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Shapecity, Jun 2, 2007.

  1. Shapecity

    Shapecity S2/JBB Teamster Staff Member Administrator

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    The Marine Corps found they had too many officers and senior enlisted men.

    It was decided to offer an early retirement bonus.

    They promised any officer or senior enlisted man who
    volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. Those applying got to choose what those two points would be.

    The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the
    top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

    The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.

    He walked out with $96,000.

    The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Sergeant Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."

    It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to
    reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two
    officers had received.

    But the old Marine insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

    The medical officer arrived and instructed the Sergeant Major to "drop 'em," which he did.. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of his weenie and began to work back.

    "Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
    The old Sergeant Major calmly replied, " Vietnam "
     
  2. Sasha

    Sasha ...since the beginning.

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    Hahahaha, fucking gold. Nice find.
     
  3. igotask8board

    igotask8board Active Member

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    LOL, I don't know why I didn't see that coming, but it was very funny.
     
  4. Notorious

    Notorious JBB Fear is Death

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    lol. i like these kind of jokes more then all these videos in this section now. people should start finding more jokes!
     

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