<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>BOSTON—Celtics center Kendrick Perkins is operating under the assumption that he is one of the team's "Big Three" players, as evidenced by his post-game comments, a recent Sports Illustrated interview, and the fact that he shouts "Big Three, baby!" while holding up three fingers after every basket he makes. "Any time you put Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, and myself, Kendrick Perkins, on a court together, you're going to win a bunch of games—but let's not forget there are two other guys on this team, and their names are Rajon Rondo and Kevin Garnett," Perkins told reporters after his seven-point, two-rebound performance Sunday night. "In fact, if Kevin continues to play the way he's been playing, you may just have to start calling us the 'Big Four.'" Perkins added that this "Big Three" incarnation is even better than 2004's version, which he says included himself, Paul Pierce, and Raef LaFrentz.</div></p> Source: The Onion</p>
Perkins can take on any NBA starting 5 by his lonesome and win! Of course he's part of the Big 3. Kevin Garnett? pffft.</p> -Petey</p>
After establishing the Benevolent Dictatorship, one task of Our first hundred days will be to take over the Onion and make it funny again.
You would think that they might notice the fact that the real news is funnier than the stuff they make up, and then make the logical connection that the only way to be funny is to push the envelope. But they like safe, warm vanilla humour.
