Jeez, you are probably still shaking from the gravity of the situation. I hope your friend can pull through this, Beef. My best wishes go out to you and them.
Holy shit, just try to get them talking about their problems to someone, if they can get it off their chest they'll feel a whole lot better. Hope it turns out alright.
it sounds like your daily routines are very similar and structured, and you use the same senses over and over--why not try to do something else for an hour, and see if that has a positive effect? Something as simple as taking a camera out to a field and taking some pictures? Or paint a picture? It could just be the result of a part of your brain that is falling into disuse and is fighting back, not unlike not using certain muscles for a long period of time. In short, try exercising your mind, maybe you'll stumble on the one thing that your mind "wants" to do and puts it at ease. More sleep would probably help, too.
I havent had a hallucination since I started classes, so breaking up the routine did actually work..... As far as today, my friend just lost his bid for election to public office on Tuesday....he was upset and mentioned over IM that he was going to kill himself, so I went to his house to talk to him....when I got there, along with BF1 who went with me, he never spoke a word to us, just walking by with the gun, getting into his car and driving away.....we followed him and he finally stopped at a church....when he went in, we broke into his truck and took the gun....I took the clip out and cleared the one in the chamber and we locked it in BF1s car and called the guys Dad....we waited at a distance while he talked to someone, the pastor I assume, until his Dad arrived, then I had to go get my kids at school....all in all, not a pleasant day, but for now, hes unarmed and hopefully ok....
Hopefully everything turns ok man. Suicide doesn't solve any problems even though it may seem like it does, it causes so much pain to the loved ones, which is even worse than dying from natural causes. Are you feeling better Beef? Still working all those hours?
Can`t say I`ve had it that bad before. The most I can remember is punching the air while waking up to fight something, or getting ready to run from the Russian mob or Ninjas, or having my heart racing and jumping out of bed, getting dressed thinking I missed an exam, when it was the middle of summer.
I am still working all the hours, and Ive actually added a full time course load to that, which sounds insane, when you consider how many hours I work, but all the classes are online and I have more than enough time to do my school work while Im at work, so really, its no more than it was....actually, I can see a time in the future where I can reduce to a single job and that helps....having an exit strategy, even if its 4-5 years out, makes a world of difference....I havent had a hallucination since I started classes
mostly the same, maybe a little less....with school starting, i have to take the kids to school and pick them up....so even If i get the chance to sleep a while in the mornings, I have to be at 2pm to head to the school....it insures that theres no chance I can get into REM sleep....
I don't really even know what to say. Other than you are far tougher emotionally than I am. To deal with all of that.... wow. There's a reason I try and shut down all the feelings I have. If I was going through all of that... I don't even know.
