Re: Random Thought Thread As BR's gramps once said "If she ain't givin u no cuddy, get a girl who will"
Re: Random Thought Thread Don't accidentally pee on your keyboard :-( And I've lost many a mouse that have fallen into the bowl.
Re: Random Thought Thread [video=youtube;giZVxSkvxyc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giZVxSkvxyc&feature=related[/video]
Re: Random Thought Thread Church: You know, I could've taken that alien out if I'd hit him just a few more times. Tucker: A few more times? How about one time! Church: Well, I think I landed at least two or three shots. Tucker: Yeah right. Tex: You didn't hit anything but the wall. Church: How the hell would you know? You were running straight backwards Tex: This is a long-range weapon, okay? I need distance to use it effectively. Church: Where were you planning on shooting him from, the fucking moon? If you'd have backed up any further you'd have had to mail him the bullets! -------------------------- Andy The Bomb: [Crunch-Bite the alien attacks an intruder] Caboose, you were supposed to help! Caboose: I was helping watch. Andy The Bomb: What if something had happened? Caboose: I'm sure I would have seen it. ---------------------------------------- Tucker: So far this quest is a fuckin' breeze. I've already killed a dead monster, what's next? We're going to open an unlocked door? Rescue a princess from herself? ----------------------------------------- Simmons: Hello, weary traveler, we represent the timeline. Sarge: I am the past, where things cost less, and people knew the value of a hard day's work. But they only lived to be 28 years old. Simmons: And I am the future, where people have no morals and no emotions, but we have a bunch of kick-ass gadgets. Grif: And I'm the present, which sucks. We have nothing cool, and also no morals. Donut: And I am the helpful narrator. A faceless voice used by poor writers. Tucker: You have a face... I think... Donut: Shut up, Audience! You're ruining my play! Everything was fine with the timeline, until one day, in the present. Grif: Why does bad stuff always happen in the present? Donut: Because that's when people do stuff! Sarge: Ah, quit yer bitchin'. I've got atrocities and a crapload of wars that seemed very important at the time, but now seem trivial and stupid. Simmons: Yeah, well I've got Apocalypse. And that's way worse than anything you two dipshits have... sorry, sir, that "dipshits" was in character. Sarge: Oh. Well, bravo, Simmons. Donut: One day, in the present, a terrible thing happened. Caboose: Enter stage left. Hello, I am stupid private Tucker. I am going to set off a big bomb now, and totally mess things up for everyone! Because I am stupid! Turns around... hello, present, I am going to set off a bomb in you. Grif: Don't do that, stupid private Tucker, that might kill me! Caboose: Thinks about this... for a moment. Donut: Caboose, stop reading your stage directions! Caboose: You said I was supposed to read anything with my name in front of it! Donut: Just the lines, not the blockings. You're ruining my big debut! Caboose: I do not think we are meshing artistically. I think you should talk to my agent. ------------------------------------------- Sarge: OK, listen up, scumbags. If we're gonna invade this fortress, we need a good game plan. Now, I have two options we can use. Number one, we run at the base in a single fine line, screaming at the top of our lungs! The enemy will be so flabbergasted, by the time they have a chance to regroup, we'll already be inside. Tucker: Oh, yeah, right. They're not going to get surprised, they're just going to start mowing us down. Sarge: That is the inherent beauty of the single file line. They can only kill the person in front. So if we order from least important to most important, with Tucker being in the front and me being in the back, then we just might make it through. Simmons: Don't you think that Caboose should be in the back, since he's the one carrying the bomb? Sarge: No, Caboose is in front of me. We need someone in back who can objectively evaluate how the plan is working. Tucker: How are you going to know if the plan isn't working? Sarge: If Caboose dies, I'll know we're in trouble, and immediately abort. Caboose: I think that's a good plan. Grif: Sarge, while that's the most retarded idea I've ever heard, I just wanted to thank you for not putting me in front of the line. Sarge: Don't get misty, Francine. We'll have already killed you and used your corpse to jam up the windmill! I think we can all agree, given our current situation, it's the perfect plan. [silence] Sarge: OK, well let me tell you about my other plan. Using parts from the warthog... --------------------------------------------- Tucker: [realizes that he has to go on a dangerous mission*] This is so dumb! I'm not doing this! Church: Hey, newsflash: you don't have a choice. You're the one that picked up the sword and locked it to yourself! Tucker: I know! And I'm so used to picking up things and not *letting* 'em get attached. [brief pause*] Tucker: I'm talkin' about women. Church: I know, yes. I got it. Tex: Don't worry, Tucker. We're not sending you alone. Tucker: You're coming with me, Tex? Tex: Me? Hell no! This is the first thing you wimps have done that actually sounds dangerous! Tucker: Well, I'm not going with Church! That guy's a worse fighter than I am! Church: Well, you're in luck then, because *I'm* not going either. Tucker: What? Then who? [he and Caboose quickly look at each other*] Tucker: No fucking way! I'm not going with him! Caboose: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I hope we meet a cleric along the way! None of us knows how to heal. [the Alien speaks*] Andy The Bomb: He says he's a healer. Caboose: Oh, good. Andy The Bomb: [chuckles*] Not really. They *eat* their wounded. [chuckles again*] Caboose: Just like chiropractors! Tucker: This is a joke, right? You're sending Caboose? What's wrong with you? Church: What's wrong with me? I saw a chance to get rid of Caboose and I took it! There's nothing wrong with me! Caboose: Ok! So, um... Tucker is the fighter, uh... Crunch-bite is the healer... and I am the powerful... and intelligent... wizard... Morphu-max... Andy The Bomb: What the hell does that make me? Caboose: You're the good-looking and stealthy archer. Andy The Bomb: A bow and arrow? I don't have any arms, you freakin' moron! Caboose: That is what makes you so stealthy. This is going to be the best party ever. Tucker: I'm gonna fuckin' die. -------------------------------------- Sarge: Anyone... want to guess... why I gathered you here... today? Grif: Uh, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home? Sarge: That's exactly it, Private. War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero. We're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float. And Simmons here is in charge of confetti! Grif: I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir. ----------------------------------------------- Caboose: I should've known. She didn't like me. Girls... never... like me. Tucker: Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you. Caboose: I like me. ----------------------------------------------- Tucker: Ooo-kay. Church... is trying to get a TRANSLATOR. So that WE can TALK to EACH OTHER. Church: Tucker, the enormous alien doesn't speak our language. Speaking slowly is not gonna help. Tucker: What? I'm talking to Caboose. Church: Oh. Caboose: [camera pans to reveal Caboose] I don't understand. Are-are-are you hungry? Tucker, are you hungry? Are you cold? Tucker: What? No. Caboose: Do you need a blanket? Tucker, do you want some hot dogs and a blanket? Tucker: Damn it, no, Caboose, I'm NOT cold, I don't want a hot dog, and if you put mustard in my fucking sheets again, I'm gonna kill you. -------------------------------------------------------- Church: Is this why you guys came home so fast? Caboose: No, we came home because the alien died, and because the uh, glowing sword turned out to be a, uh glowing key. Church: Yeah, a glowing key that could still STAB people. Caboose: Right. Church: So it is a sword. It just happens to function like a key in very specific situations. Caboose: Or it's a key all the time, and when you stick it in people, it unlocks their death. Church: Goddamn, man, I would love to live in your world for about ten minutes. Caboose: Yeah. I have a really good time! Church: [laughing] Yeah, it seems like it. You know, I don't think I'd get anything done, but I probably wouldn't care that much. --------------------------------------------------
Re: Random Thought Thread That won't happen again, trust me! Pretty funny, though. Actually I'm not making excuses for Cro because that game by him was terrible. However, Chargers radio was talking about how he wasn't focused at all last week because his daughter was Hurricane Ike's destruction zone. Eh, it's whatever though. He made up for it by owning Favre.
Re: Random Thought Thread lol, I was just joking. Cromartie's nasty. I've been saving up for a Justin Tuck jersey ever since Shockey was traded.
Re: Random Thought Thread Just got another job at a movie theater...so that's pretty sick. Now I have to go in and quit...oh boy.
