LO is hard core

Hard to believe that comes from a relatively urban area.

I guess I've been busted:

But they told me the cell phone thing always impresses the ladies! And busted again:

barfo

 

I think this could be made into poetry.

One man reported harassment by another in a presumed,
but apparently fictional love triangle.
A stranger rang the doorbell looking for his ex-wife;
She moved out six months earlier.

Two white goats were running down the railroad tracks
The goats were spotted headed toward Tualatin.
A white male Bichon by the name of Boo-Boo went missing,
The railroad-trotting goats were taken into custody.

A bottle lay in the road, partially obscured by branches;
Box springs were dumped during the night.
A precariously hanging tree limb hovered over Ninth Street;
A wandering Labrador was taken into police custody.

An unfriendly exchange of livestock on Iron Mountain Boulevard;
Water boiled up from the sidewalk on Crestview Drive.
A man called for advice about how to talk to his children about drugs;
A car was broken into on Diane Drive but nothing was taken.

A man handcuffed himself on Kerr Parkway;
he did not have the key.
Littering was reported on Rosewood Street,
A suicide attempt was reported.

A reckless driver made a left turn on Boones Ferry Road,
then threw ice at another vehicle.
A garbage truck was unable to pick up trash on Amberwood Circle;
the garbage service refused to return later.

A portable toilet was set on fire on Greentree Road;
Water bubbled through a manhole cover on Streamside Drive.
Someone was yelling and banging around in an apartment on Sixth Street,
A man found sleeping had missed his bus.

A man was pretending to talk on a cell phone,
trying to get the attention of women at the Starbucks.
A possibly inoperable white van was parked in a yard;
it appeared to be growing a slimy, green skin.

A woman called police from a senior living facility and asked to be taken away.
A teen-aged runaway was reported, then found shortly afterward.
A full-sized school bus was apparently making unsafe lane changes on I-5.
An 18-year-old boy exposed himself.

A man was following a woman who was not interested in him.
A man called police and insisted that they give him a ride home.
A man sought permission to fire a potato cannon on Grand Oaks Drive.
A cat was in a car for more than a week behind the PetCo.

One neighbor drove over another’s lawn on Sixth Street.
Police assisted with an unresponsive female in a white Honda.
A loud mob on First Street had gathered there for a birthday party.
Magazines ordered from a magazine solicitor did not arrive.

barfo

 

I was on single malt scotch at the time.

barfo

 

My favorites:

1/19/09 7:06 a.m. A bottle lay in the road on C Avenue, partially obscured by branches. (it was fully clothed though, but was making lewd comments)
1/19/09 8:09 a.m. A precariously hanging tree limb hovered over Ninth Street. (it was taken in for questioning)
1/19/09 12:40 p.m. Water boiled up from the sidewalk on Crestview Drive. (best place to boil water)
1/19/09 1:26 p.m. A man called police for advice about how to talk to his children about drugs. (oddly enough, about were to buy them)
1/20/09 9:17 p.m. A flashlight spotted in a house under construction was being wielded by the homeowner, who was living there through the remodeling efforts. (gasp! A home owner living in their home)
1/22/09 3:21 p.m. A man who was smoking in the doorway of a fitness center refused to leave, offending the fit people inside. (but not the fat people inside)
1/23/09 3:37 p.m. Reports of excessive trash in a yard on Mapleleaf Road belonged to the homeowners, who were trying to move out. (Reports are they were moving out of the neighborhood because of complaints that they were too messy)
1/24/09 12:09 p.m. A man was sending e-mails and following a woman who was not interested in him. (I asked nicely at least)