OLD: Ebonics translation of the Notorious BIG's one more chance

Discussion in 'Blazers OT Forum' started by AgentDrazenPetrovic, Mar 13, 2009.

  1. AgentDrazenPetrovic

    AgentDrazenPetrovic Anyone But the Lakers

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    One of my favorite message board items of all time:

    here's the song: [video=youtube;132OAFRqoFI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=132OAFRqoFI[/video]

    This paper was turned in by an Oakland High school student who received the highest honors at the school district's ebonics translation competition.

    Assignment: Please translate the following Rap song lyrics from Ebonics to standard English.


    Artist: Notorious B.I.G.
    Album: Ready to Die
    Song: One more chance (remix)

    Lyrics:
    First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys
    Dummies - playboy bunnies, those wantin' money
    Those the ones I like 'cause they don't get nathan'
    But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation
    Garbage, I turn like doorknobs
    Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever
    However, I stay coochied down to the socks
    Rings and watch filled with rocks

    TRANSLATION:

    As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude magazine models, and prostitutes. I particularly enjoy sexual encounters with the latter group as they are generally disappointed in the fact that they only receive penile intercourse and nothing more, unless of course, they douche on a consistent basis. Although I am extremely unattractive, I am able to engage in these types of sexual acts with some regularity. Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my fancy and expensive jewelry.


    Lyrics:
    And my jam knock in the Mitsubishi
    Girls pee pee when they see me, Nava-hoes creep me in they tee pee
    As I lay down laws like I lay carpet
    Stop it - if you think your gonna make a profit

    TRANS:

    I enjoy playing my music loudly on my car stereo. Apparently, women enjoy this also because they become sexually aroused when they see me driving. Oddly enough, when I visit the Native American reservations, some of the more sexually promiscuous Indian women attempt to seduce me in their homes. Their intent is to divest me of my earnings. Such actions are unacceptable.


    Lyrics:
    Don't see my ones, don't see my guns - get it
    Now tell ya friends Poppa hit it then split it
    In two as I flow with the Junior Mafia
    I don't know what the hell's stoppin' ya
    I'm clockin' ya - Versace shades watchin' ya
    Once ya grin, I'm in game, begin

    TRANS:

    Understand this fact: you can have neither my money, nor my weapons. I suggest that you inform your peers that we engaged in violent sexual acts. Currently, I am rapping with my associates, the Junior Mafia. I'm having some difficulty understanding why you refuse to approach me. I am attempting to make eye contact with you through my expensive glasses, and as soon as you respond with a smile, I will approach you.


    Lyrics:
    First I talk about how I dress and this
    And diamond necklaces - stretch Lexuses
    The sex is just immaculate from the back I get
    Deeper and deeper - help ya reach the
    Climax that your man can't make
    Call and tell him you'll be home real late
    Let's sing the break

    TRANS:

    I prefer to open the conversation with light banter about my wardrobe and jewelry, then I like to discuss my collection of expensive cars. This is more than enough to convince you to have sexual intercourse with me. I am able to insert my penis further into you when I enter you from behind. Furthermore, you will be able to reach orgasm. I understand this to be a problem with your current sexual partner. He needn't be concerned about your whereabouts. Please phone him and inform him that you won't be home for a while. By the way, please sing the chorus of the song for me also.


    Lyrics:
    She's sick of that song on how it's so long
    Thought he worked his until I handled my biz
    There I is - major pain like Damon Wayans
    Low down dirty even like his brother Keenan
    Schemin' - don't bring your girl 'round me
    True player for real, ask Puff Daddy

    TRANS:

    Your current love interest no longer wishes to hear your fabrications about the length of your member. After I had sexual intercourse with your woman, she became enlightened as to the proper way it is supposed to be performed; violently and immorally. It would be in your best interest to keep your woman away from me as my sexual prowess is very strong. If you are unconvinced, ask Puff Daddy.


    Lyrics:
    You - ringin' bells with bags from Chanel
    Baby Benz, traded in your Hyundai Excel
    Fully equipped, CD changer with the cell
    She beeped me, meet me at twelve

    TRANS:

    Despite the fact that you attempted to win her at her doorstep with bags full of expensive clothes and a car (the lower end model Mercedes Benz which you financed by signing over your current vehicle) containing an expensive stereo and a cellular phone, your woman has contacted me through my pager indicating that we should rendezvous at midnight.


    Lyrics:
    Where you at? Flippin' jobs, playin' car notes?
    While I'm swimmin' in ya women like the breast stroke
    Right stroke, left stroke what's the best stroke
    Death stroke - tongue all down her throat
    Nuthin' left to do but send her home to you
    I'm through - can ya sing the song for me, boo?

    TRANS:

    You, on the other hand, jump from job to job, barely able to maintain payments on the Mercedes Benz you purchased for your woman. Meanwhile, I continue to engage in sexual intercourse and commit lewd osculatory acts with your women. My only remaining option is to request that she leave my home and return to you because I have reached orgasm and no longer have a need for her presence.


    Lyrics:
    So, what's it gonna be? Him or me?
    We can cruise the world with pearls
    Gator boots for girls
    The envy of all women, crushed linen
    Cartier wrist-wear with diamonds in 'em
    The finest women I love with a passion
    Ya man's a wimp, I give that ass a good thrashin'

    TRANS:

    The ultimate decision rests with you. Whom do you choose as your sexual partner. I can take you on cruises around the world. I will dress you in the finest jewelry and footwear. You will be envied by women worldwide in your fine clothes and jewelry. There is a special place in my heart for beautiful women. I will defeat your man in an altercation because he is effeminate.


    Lyrics:
    High fashion - flyin' into all states.
    Sexin' me while your man masturbates.
    Isn't this great? Your flight leaves at eight.
    Her flight lands at nine, my game just rewinds.
    Lyrically I'm supposed to represent.
    I'm not only the client, I'm the player president

    TRANS:

    You will be dressed in finest clothes on the runways of Paris. I will fly you to every state to shop for fine clothes and jewelry. You will enjoy sexual intercourse with me and your man will be forced to pleasure himself through manual stimulation. What a life! I'll return you to LaGuardia in time to catch your 8 o'clock flight. The timing is perfect because I have scheduled a date with a second woman who arrives at the same gate at 9 o'clock. I'll seduce her in the same way that I seduced you. I rap well and I am a positive reflection of my home town. Not only am I a sexually deviant, misogynistic, immoral, wealthy, male prostitute, but I also sit on the board of directors of the organization that governs others of my kind.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2009
    huevonkiller likes this.
  2. huevonkiller

    huevonkiller Change (Deftones)

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    Loved it, repped.
     
  3. DaRizzle

    DaRizzle BLAKER

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    wow...thats pretty good
     
  4. Colonel Ronan

    Colonel Ronan Continue...?

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    That was good.
     
  5. BrianFromWA

    BrianFromWA Editor in Chief Staff Member Editor in Chief

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    The funny thing is: Summer of '96 I roomed with a guy in Newport who was a Biggie devotee. Spent over a month teaching me Biggie-isms: what's a Philly blunt? President of what players? Who's Allen Compett? What's "us in a six, shop for new clothes and kicks" mean? What's a "six"?

    Now I have good memories every time I hear it.
     
  6. Colonel Ronan

    Colonel Ronan Continue...?

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    He also mentions Frank White quite a lot in his rhymes.
     
  7. TradeNurkicNow

    TradeNurkicNow piss

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    Man, when this shit was popular, I was too young to appreciate rap and I generally avoided it.

    Now, I like hip-hop, but nothing popular. Shit like Immortal Technique, busdriver, Aesop Rock, Atmosphere, etc.

    And I have to say, Biggie is TERRIBLE. Just, bad. I mean, this was considered good once?
     
  8. Colonel Ronan

    Colonel Ronan Continue...?

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    You must be smoking crack.
     
  9. TradeNurkicNow

    TradeNurkicNow piss

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    Really? THIS

    First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys
    Dummies - playboy bunnies, those wantin' money
    Those the ones I like 'cause they don't get nathan'
    But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation
    Garbage, I turn like doorknobs
    Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever
    However, I stay coochied down to the socks
    Rings and watch filled with rocks

    is considered good? And listen to his delivery, it sounds like it's the first time he's seen the lyrics. It's just bad. Do people think its good because of sentimental value or what? I'm genuinely confused.
     
  10. Colonel Ronan

    Colonel Ronan Continue...?

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    Well, I don't think you can base an artist's prowess off of one song. I am not a fan of this track, but some of his other work is untouchable. That isn't even a strong enough word for it. If you can't respect his lyrical master class, then I am speechless.
     
  11. TradeNurkicNow

    TradeNurkicNow piss

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    like I said, I never really listened to this. But every time I hear anything by Biggie or Puff Daddy it's just abysmal. Are the good songs ones that were never popular?
     
  12. Colonel Ronan

    Colonel Ronan Continue...?

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    I believe his best songs are 1970 Somethin', Machine Gun Funk, Gimme the Loot, Ten Crack Commandments, Juicy, and Suicidal Thoughts/Hold Ya Head. Check them out and tell me what you think.
     
  13. TradeNurkicNow

    TradeNurkicNow piss

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    1970 Somethin' - As far as lyrics and flow go, nothing special. The beats are retarded, but that's a bigger syndrome of early to mid 90's rap anyway. Unimpressed.

    Machine Gun Funk - All I want is bitches, big booty bitches. That's all I have to say about the lyrics. The beats are better than 1970 something, but the flow is a little worse.

    Gimme the Loot - ehhh just bad. "I'm slammin' ******s like Shaquile, shit is real, when it's time to eat a meal, I rob and steal." Agghghhg so DUMB. He's just yelling into the mic at this point. The beats are decent in this song.

    Ten Crack Commandments - Okay so after the 45 straight seconds of him saying "******," this song gets sick in a hurry. Flow is good, beats are good, nice and mellow. Lyrics are a vast improvement over the rest of his songs I've heard which can basically be summed up as "I am fat and rich and like sex and money and possibly having sex with money and if you say otherwise I will shoot you." I like this song.

    Juicy - Boring, nothing special. Doesn't stand out. Nothing I haven't covered before.

    Suicidal Thoughts - Decent song, actual lyrics about actual things. Beat is meh, flow is meh. I like it better than the others besides Ten Crack Commandments.


    So. Uh, Ten Crack Commandments is the only one on there that I would ever actually listen to. That's a tight song. The rest are average at best. I dunno what to say, the last hour I've listened to more Biggie than I have in the past 10 years combined. Keep in mind my tastes in rap, and that might explain why Biggie has no appeal to me. Bottom line for me is he's got the flow and the voice to be really good, but they are inconsistent and he raps about the same stupid shit song after song.
     
  14. AgentDrazenPetrovic

    AgentDrazenPetrovic Anyone But the Lakers

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    Its an evolution of things. By your standards, even the pioneers of hip hop would be terrible in all likelyhood.
     
  15. TradeNurkicNow

    TradeNurkicNow piss

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    I suspect this is the case.
     
  16. AgentDrazenPetrovic

    AgentDrazenPetrovic Anyone But the Lakers

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    its like watching old wilt chamberlin and saying something like "Kwame Brown would pwn his ass!"

    :cheers:

    its awesome shit though.
     
  17. BrianFromWA

    BrianFromWA Editor in Chief Staff Member Editor in Chief

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    couple quick questions: wasn't it "I stay Gucci down to the socks"? As in, "my wardrobe is wholly comprised of upscale designers such as Gucci, even down to the minute, unseen details like my inner footwear"?

    And iirc it's "Major Payne" like Damon Wayans, right?
     
  18. TradeNurkicNow

    TradeNurkicNow piss

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    I wouldn't go on to say that new, progressive rap is Kwame Brown. Besides, I don't want to compare Biggie and Puffy and all them with what I listen to, cos it's not the same. It's not gangsta rap. It's not better, it's just different.

    That said, I'm still unconvinced that Biggie is any good. So far I've heard one song that's of any quality, and to me, it's no better than anything new I've heard not in the gangsta rap genre.

    For reference, here's what I like (ignore the stupid fanmade videos):

    Aesop Rock
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dk6HTtpACuA

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSqmR8eZYJA


    busdriver
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjOXkpcXtKc


    Immortal Technique (and others)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrBRJVGLRPo


    Atmosphere
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqmRKEZ5Ijg


    Damien Marley (hey, he's rapping.)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nC8-DsLFqS0
     
  19. Master Shake

    Master Shake young phoenix

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    Lol, awesome.
     

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