So without going into great detail... I'm pregnant. Ok kidding. But really. In December three of my best friends got together and decided to tell my mom a great deal about my life she didn't need to know. Now I FULLY understand why they did it, and do not hate them at all for it. I'm mature enough to understand why and know they were only trying to help. But it didn't help, it hurt a lot more then it helped. One of the things it did was I don't trust anyone now. I'm someone who needs to be able to talk to someone every once in awhile. But ever since the one friend went and told my mom, I don't trust anyone at all. I especially don't trust those three, and considering they were the only 3 people I really talked too about certain stuff, it's been tough on me. Lately I've really been feeling the pressure of not being able to talk to someone. Anytime one of them asks me how I am, I just get this attitude of "why should I tell you anything, you'll just go and open your mouth". Which I know is stupid and childish, but if you were in my position you would at least understand why I feel that way sometimes. So what should I do? Should I learn to trust one of them again, or all of them? Or should I do this, or do that?? And just fyi, therapy/therapist is out of the question...
Lol actually me and my mom saw that he is being inducted into the H.O.F. this weekend, kind of took me back to when I was a kid to see him. Not the point though. I really don't trust anybody right now, but thats not really going well for me now.
Your friends were probably concerned about your safety. I understand the trust issues though...I'm not one who likes to put my cards on the table, but some people need to. I have many friends like this....its quite difficult to figure out what to do. I can go on for pages and pages on this but we'll just take it one step at a time. I'll just ask: are you happy with your life right now? If not, find out why not and make the necessary changes to change it. Sometimes easier said than done, but you've got to find the problem and that can take a journey. Do you feel isolated in your current surroundings? Bored? Sometimes the more you think about things, the worse it is.
To be blunt...If they thought there was a chance you would commit suicide you cant blame them. Death is worse than being pissed off and alive
I havent been happy with life since I was 9. I totally know why I'm not happy, and I totally have tried many times. But like you said, it's much easier said then done. To Rizzle, I don't blame them at all. I really honestly dont blame them and I'm not mad at them. I just don't trust them anymore, or anyone for that matter. To barfo, that is all true. But I get paranoid sometimes, because I talk about this place sometimes in conversation (hey sometimes some funny things happen here), so my paranoia makes me think they are reading this crap sometimes to see if I'm putting anything out there.
I think I posted this before in your previous thread, one of my favorite quotes, from the movie Wall Street. Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss. I realize its all cheesy and shit but I personally found that very motivating several years ago when I was down in the shits. Many successes comes from hitting rock bottom..there's a breaking point. May not be applicable to you, personally but I just found that quote helpful when I was at rock bottom. My personal advice for you would be to move somewhere else where you can start anew, but you may not want to.
I nearly shit myself laughing so hard ADP, and thanks for remembering about the alcohol thing, but yea I actually do do something harder then that. At least in my mind it is. I haven't done it in a while, but I have some very strong medication for a spine problem I have. And I'm a pussy when it comes to medication. When I shattered my leg I would have to cut up the pills in half because the full pills were way to strong for me. Even Nyquil will fuck me up. So yea, in some weird stupid hypocritical way, I don't drink ever, but I do do that. Honestly I don't care what you guys find out... I'm going to bed, I'll post back here tomorrow more about whats going if interested. Maybe it will help. Oh and no barfo, no women.
Hey, dpc. I'm curious about your approximate age. Are you a minor living with your mother or on your own? If on your own, it's probably less impacting on your life. Either way, unless you were in iminent danger of harming yourself or others, your friends had no business squaking. I'd be pissed too and I can sure see why you would not trust them. I really don't have advice. You could ask these so called friends why they did what they did. But probably would not help. At any rate, I sure don't blame you for being mad and don't think you're stupid. Your trust was betrayed, of course you are mad. As for moving, that really depends on whether the issues were so huge that you feel you can't face people. Your decision. As to whom you can talk to, I don't know, I'm not much of a confider myself. Maybe some conveniently anonymous on line chat room? Or talk to a pet, unless it's a parrot your secrets are safe. Good luck, serious.
I'm 20 years old, and I live with my brother, mom, and grandma when I'm at home, but I go to school 3 hours away so most of the year I'm gone. I can see why they did what they did. I don't blame them. Without going into great detail I probably would have done the same thing. They did what they teach you to do all throughout life. It just didn't do anything, except tell one more person about it, one person that didn't need to know about it. And it made me lose all trust. About moving, I'm not sure if I said anything at all that gave the impression I was considering moving, but I have never even thought about that. I have thought about going back to Oregon once I graduate, but my career choice doesn't allow me to choose where I live, it's more it chooses where I live. But best possible scenario would be me back in the 503. Thank you for your words, and yea, my cat is a pretty good listener.
