I disagree. Family doesn't need to know everything. Maybe in happy land, but in most instances they can often exacerbate the problem.
ADP I'm growing out a beard... until the Blazers clinch. (please god clinch tomorrow, I look like a roadie for Lynard Skynard right now) I kind of have always felt closer to friends then family. I mean I love my family, and my mom is honestly the coolest mom in the world and the most caring. So it's not her or anyone fault. I just always was more intrapersonal, but when I did tell people things I told my friends over family. I understand Bengal where your coming from. I really do. I understand what they did and why they did it. I understand that I probably would have done the same thing. But idk man, it didnt do any help, only hurt. Things would be different if they didnt do that. It honestly didn't help anyone in any situation, it jus made things worse. That's why I can't accept what they did, even though they had all the best intentions in the world. And I only go to school in Fargo. Home is Minneapolis. And Fargo really isn't all that bad if you get passed the negative 50 weather.
telling friends or family is normal. family always has a tendency to gossip, most friends won't unless in extreme measures...which may be your situation. uhhh....maybe you should start wearing a top hat and cane?
Agreed, my mom has 7 sisters that she bullshits with all the time and always airs my dirty laundry. Nothing is safe around that woman.
the thing is that your friends...you can talk to them about doing some of the most fucked up shit imaginable and it'll be bonding. you tell your family that shit, they'll excommunicate you and send you to bible camp.
I know you don't like therapists (and I loathe therapists myself, all 13 that I went to. Yes that is the correct number) and you know what your problem is so might I suggest spending a few sessions with a psychologist. A good one would help you pin down what exactly your 'problem is', why it is there (if there even a reason why), and how to go about dealing with it. I was forced through the aforementioned therapists, a psychiatrist, and three psychologists who all thought I was just depressed/too cynical/suicidal etc as a kid before finally the people forcing me through all this got lucky and a good psychologist came along. He figured out what was 'wrong' (and I use the term wrong loosely here) with me, and helped me figure out my own ways to deal with it without freaking out people around me who would try to go all pop psychologist on me. It also probably helped that he wasn't like all the others who talked down to me and tried to force me to talk (which ended up with us both sitting there for fifty minutes a session with staring at the ceiling and them writing notes on this fabulous staring). I feel psychologists are better for people who don't like to talk to people as they seem to be more interested to finding out if there is something wired differently in your brain and helping you adjust to dealing with it (and actually getting you to adjust). So if you ever want to try that route again I suggest a qualified psychologist. Plus the ink blot test is fun (when they don't make that stupid little hmmm noise after you say something).
THAT.... is exactly how its supposed to work Sebastian. I'm glad you finally found the right person to help. It sucks that you had to see so many people before you finally found the right person to help you. Good for you for not giving up. I like what you said about some people having brains wired differently than others. That is how I see it too. Although I envision them to be a bit more like a computer, running differing thought processes that ought to be able to be examined and modified or reprogrammed to suit the desires of the individual.
I am going to level with you, you have a illness that needs to be treated. When you are ready to face that fact, you will need both therapy and medication. Now you may not like that, but it is fact. I suggest finding a support group through NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) http://www.nami.org/ There are millions of people dealing with mental illness in the world, and you are simply one of them. There is nothing to feel guilty about. I have two people that I love and care deeply for that are impacted by mental illness, and when they are going through counseling and using meds they can cope very well. When they choose to get away from those things they struggle with the day to day. You can also suggest NAMI for you family and friends as they have several groups tailored for family and friends of those being impacted. Now you might be thinking why the fuck would I want to encourage them to go to a meeting about MY problems. Well clearly they have decided to take on your problems as their own because they love and care about you. If they were to attend the NAMI meetings they would meet many other people that are going through the same exact situation of having someone they love deal with a mental illness. It would give them some context and perspective to dealing with you that might actually make your life much easier in terms of these strained relationships. I wish you the best in dealing with your mental illness, and remember it is just like a physical illness in terms of the fact that you just had bad luck in the gene pool.
