I realise a few people who come on here will make their way across to europe to watch their teams. Consider this my own public service for teams, players and managers. You don't belong in football if..... your team need a theme tune for when you score. (How could Celtic fall into this trap?!) you buy a "half scalf" with a rival on the other side. (You wouldn't believe how many idiots were outside Anfield buying Chelsea half scalves before the game!) You think it is a good idea to put your own name on the back of your shirt and you are over the age of 4. (Wanker 1) You take pictures during a game consistently. (Get a job as a photographer or **** off) You're english and take any kind of instrument into a football game. (This is not a concert!)