I keep coming back to the thought that this whole "thigh bruise and getting better" line from the organization is really just a cover-up for him having the Swine Flu or some dastardly STD.
I heard from sources that will remain nameless - that they are converting him to work on Lithium power. He will be able to last longer with those.
According to my sources in an Illuminati star chamber in Switzerland "Project Oden" is continuing ahead of schedule. The plot to drive Blazers fan nuts involves not only the alien base on the dark side of the moon but also the rediscovered brain of Hitler found in an underground submarine base in Antartica. The base was uncovered as a result of polar ice cap melt caused by the Illuminati's global warming scheme to create a Cap and Trade system to hamstring America. After portioning the brain into slices for Jason Quick, John Canzano and Bill Simmons the plan was set into motion with commision Stern awarding Portland the #1 pick. After some 10's of thousands of agents flooded Portland to Honk once for Oden the PTB's fate was sealed. For the final touches 3 Illuminati agents were sent to Sportstwo board to sew chaos: Agent's Mixum, Maris61 and PapaG were released on an unsuspecting bulletin board. "Project Oden" is set to destabilize Portland by 2010. "Project Oden" is a blueprint for future psychological warfare projects throughout the US. You were warned!
No joke: I heard from an unreliable source last year that a friend of a friend was dating him and they had a three some with some skank and got the clap or gonorrhea. But I wouldn't trust him too well.
From a bruise to Swine Flu, ridiculous. That is like saying a sore knee and explatory surgery turns into year ending microfracture surgery. Or keeping someone out of a rookie-soph all star game for precationary measures turns into missing an eigth of a season.