Firstly, I think it's important to distinguish between some nutjob killing an abortion doctor who he or she believes that is responsible for thousands of murders and an entire movement where the message is to kill as many people as possible, including innocents. Furthermore, these people are being counseled by imams to commit these despicable acts. Secondly, I've heard many clergymen/women decry the killing of abortion doctors in the name of God. Their typical response is to say that the solution for (what they call) the murder of the unborn is not murder. Thirdly, the reason Muslims don't seem to get the same treatment, as you say, is that they are being specifically told to commit these acts by their religious leaders. They are told that these actions will get them to Paradise. When is the last Christian/Jewish terrorist who killed innocents indiscriminately under the guidance of a priest, pastor or rabbi? I can't think of one, not even in Israel. Fourthly, many Muslims I know in the States feel misunderstood. Christians and Jews don't have the same hurdle. The best way to counter that perceived misunderstanding is to speak out against the extreme elements in your religion and the acts being committed in the name of Allah. If some Pentacostal nut job does something crazy, Lutherans don't need to come out and say "That act doesn't mesh with our idea of God"; people know it. Sadly, most Americans couldn't tell you the difference between Sunni and Shia, or even that there are two major branches of Islam. Perhaps it's my ignorance on this issue, but I swear I do not remember a single major demonstration by Muslims against the extremist elements in their religion. I hope there are some, because right now the silence is deafening. And I can't imagine our news organizations wouldn't be willing to cover those that would speak against the nihilistic Wahhabists.
And I agree with you 100%. The problem is that it's no longer sufficient for imams to stay in their mosque and preach their message of obedience to God, following the Koran and self-regulation. The average American isn't going to head to their local mosque to discover for themselves what Islam is all about. In fact, in many parts of this country, there is no "local mosque". If you want your religion not to be met with suspicion and derision, you need to be proactive and speak out against the extreme elements in your religion.
A cursory google search would reveal Muslim organizations united against radical Islam, not to mention records of demonstrations against terrorism (major ones include Jordan and India), as well as condemnation from countless religious leaders all across the Middle East after 9/11 and other terrorist activities. On a strictly personal note, having spent time in two different Muslim communities overseas as well as the one in Portland in the past 2 years, I would say that it "seems" quite the opposite.
This is a great point, but one that isn't realistic, unfortunately. I think the situation in the West has gotten to the point that those people who do some out and speak for Islam are met with contempt and people view them as the exception instead of the rule. Part of this is that Islam doesn't have the best PR department, so to speak, and is slow to adapt to a changing worldview.
http://www.magicyellow.com/Oregon/Mosques/Cities.html Go check one out one day. They welcome anybody to see what its about