Everyone post jokes. Ill start.An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: "How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"
Got a Couple momma jokesYo momma is so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.Yo momma is so poor that someone stepped on her ciggarrete and she asked "Who turned off the lights?"Yo momma is so poor that one day, I saw her walking down the street and she had one shoe one I asked her "Did you lose a shoe?" and she said "No, I found one!"Yo momma is so fat that she has to iron her clothers on the drivewayYo momma is so fat that her belt size is the equatorYo momma is so stupid that she asked me how to ask a questionYo momma is so stupid that she called me and asked for my phone numberYo momma is so stupid that one day, she went to the post office and she was yelling in an envelope, I asked her "What are you doing?" and she said "Sending voice mail!"Yo momma is so stupid that she went to the clippers game for a haircutYo momma is so fat that the last time she saw 90210 was on a scaleYo momma is so stupid that she tried to drown a fish
Oh I got another one..There were three girls at a bar. They were drinking and started to conversate. The first woman said "Im so loose that my boyfriend can stick 3 fingers in me." The second woman said, "Im so loose that my boyfriend can fist me." The last woman said, "Im so loose that...." and she falls through the chair.
A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.The little boy says, "Dark in here."The man says, "Yes it is."Boy- "I have a baseball."Man- "That's nice."Boy- "Want to buy it?"Man- "No, thanks."Boy- "My dad's outside."Man- "OK, how much?"Boy- "$250."In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.Boy- "Dark in here."Man- "Yes, it is."Boy- "I have a baseball glove."The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"Boy- "$750."Man- "Fine."A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"The son says "$1,000."The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.The boy says, "Dark in here."The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again."
"My grandpa died during the Holocaust, he fell from the guard tower." "Why do black people grow so tall? Because their knee grows."
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (BCB @ Apr 24 2006, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>"Why do black people grow so tall? Because their knee grows."</div>Huh?
I got a joke...Your game..A real one...Yo momma put on a raincoat once and walked down the street to the yells of people shouting TAXIIIIYo Momma is so fat she once stepped on the scaled and it told her her phone number.Yo momma is like a bowling ball. Fingered her 3 times, F*ked her down the alley, and she still came back for more...Tank you thank you Im here all week
Heres a lil joke/advice probably more funny if i said itDont buy crack from a crackhead.unless ur a baker like meI think i put this joke i made up on hereWhat do you call a black foursome?A KitKAt This is a joke that makes me not eat or buy kitkat anymoreTake a guess why i dont want that <Censored>.
President Bush, First Lady Laura and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------John, Will, and Steve died and went to heaven.When they got there god said you can live in eternal happiness if you follow one rule dont step on any ducks. They thought to themselve thats fair enough. Then they opned the pearly gates and saw millions and millions of ducks.Will stepped on one right away. god comes by and says i thought I made it clear not to step on any ducks your punishment is you will be chained to this hideous amazon woman for the rest of eternitya few weeks go by and Steve steps on a duck. god says I thought I made it clear not to step on any ducks your punishment is you will be chained to this hideous elephant woman for the rest of eternity.Its been months and john has still has not stepped on a duck. God drops by and chains this beautiful blonde swimsuit model to his arm. John says " I wonder what i did to deserve this beautiful woman"The blonde looks at him and says " I dont know about you but i stepped on a duck" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (BALLAHOLLIC @ Apr 25 2006, 01:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>President Bush, First Lady Laura and <Censored> Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy.</div> nice one there
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>President Bush, First Lady Laura and <Censored> Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy.</div> , good one except for the unneccesary <censored> on D!ck. That's just profiling balla, what if a guy is named D!ck and joins this site.
