Don't Push me cause I'm close to the LEDGE

Discussion in 'Portland Trail Blazers' started by Idog1976, Dec 23, 2009.

  1. Idog1976

    Idog1976 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2009
    Messages:
    6,709
    Likes Received:
    3,915
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    I look to the stars.
    Location:
    P-Town baby!
    Sometimes the best way to deal with grief and beat down is through art. Here is my homage to Grandmaster Flash, The Sugar Hill Gang and this horrible, HORRIBLE season.

    If you want to repost this elsewhere please give me credit. Without further ado:

    “Bill Simmons Delight”

    by the Sugar Bill Gang (Aka Idog1976 aka Ian)

    Or

    “The Therapeutic Massage”

    by Grandmaster Flesh Wound (Aka Idog1976 aka Ian)


    Coach Nate Dogg:

    I said a hip hop the hippie to the hip hip hop
    A you dont stop the rock it to the bang bang boogie

    I say up jumped the injury boogie
    and left and right the knees go kablooie


    To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat down commencing
    It’s as though the god of injury can’t stop dispensing.

    To the black and red and the white it’s true,
    And now the whole of Blazer nation is blue.

    Now what you hear is not a test--Blazers getting beat it’s an injury fest!
    And that jack-hole Bill Simmons is puffing out his chest.

    See the Blazers rock but the injuries got em beat
    I really can’t stand to read John Canzano’s tweets.

    See i am wondering Is Durant mike and GO that Bowie fellow?
    I like to say hello to the black, to the white, the red and the brown, the purple and
    Yellow.

    You see that’s the Blazer colors with some serious bruise action,
    There ain’t one single rip city fan getting any satisfaction.

    But first i gotta bang bang the boogie to the boogie
    say up jump the injury boogie to the bang bang kneecap Kablooie!

    Let's rock, you dont stop rock the riddle
    Something in our water makes your body so damn brittle

    Chorus:
    Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge
    I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh
    [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh]
    [4th: say what?]

    The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder
    just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

    The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder
    what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

    Well so far youve heard my voice but i brought some friends along
    To help sing the song.
    and next on the mike is my man Steve Blake
    Here’s one guy who wants that cake to bake!

    Steve Blake:

    Check it out, i'm the coach c-a-s-an-the-o-v-a
    and Nate he loves me as a point guard playa


    ya see i go by the code of the doctor of the fix
    On David Stern’s orders Nate keeps me in the mix.


    Ya see i'm six foot one and i'm tons of fun
    and as far as injury free I’m the only one.


    Ya see the teams been beat worse then old muhammad ali
    and the injury bug bites so damn viciously!


    We got body casts, i got ten big surgery scars
    we got major injuries to most of our stars!

    I got a lincoln continental and a sunroof Cadillac
    and just watched Oden’s kneecap get whacked.

    You know you can’t blame the docs or Corey Maggette,
    That poor motha f’er’s got tendons of spaghetti.

    Chorus:
    Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge
    I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh
    [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh]
    [4th: say what?]

    The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder
    just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

    The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder
    what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

    Now I gotta pass the mike to my boy KP
    Talk about one sorry S.O.B

    Kevin Pritchard:

    My name is Kevin and once upon a time in 2007,
    I thought I had landed in GM heaven

    The balls they bounced in just the right way,
    It was like Ron Jeremy back in the day.

    So what do we do, take the no brainer 7 footer,
    Or the baby faced bean pole who seemed like a killer?

    Well you can honk once or you can honk twice,
    But at the end of the day big Paul Allen he buys my rice.

    With that said the friendly giant we took,
    And now I should be getting a cut from Bill Simmons next book.

    The rest as you know is history,
    I sure hope someone takes a bat to Bill Simmons knees.

    Chorus:
    Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge
    I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh
    [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh]
    [4th: say what?]

    The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder
    just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

    The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder
    just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

    Now I gotta give it up to my man GO.
    A hard luck brother who’s gonna give it a go.

    He’s a real class act a top shelf bro,
    But cruel ass fate has treated him like a ho.

    Greg Oden:

    Well it's on n on n on on n on
    the injury beat dont stop until the break of dawn

    I said m-a-s, t-e-r, to the G with a big fat O i said i go by the unforgettable name
    but it makes me sick to say that bad luck is what has got me the most fame.

    Well, my name is known all over the world, by all the foxy nurses and the pretty surgeons,
    Looks like I got plenty of time this season to go fishing for some sturgeons.

    I'm goin go down in history
    as the unluckiest mofo when it comes to Knees.

    Now i'm feelin the highs and ya I’m feelin the lows
    I can’t take the court feel like I’m letting down my bros.


    Chorus:
    Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge
    I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh
    [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh]
    [4th: say what?]

    The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder
    just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

    The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder
    just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

    When I look around I see broken bones everywhere
    People pissing on my dreams, you know they just don't care

    I can't take this hell, I can't take the noise no more
    I feel like a god damn media whore.

    They use me and abuse me from beginning to end,
    Kick me when I’m down no time to mend.

    At first they put me up on a pedastel,
    Only to rip me down and treat me like hell.

    What did I do to Simmons and Cowherd
    To get spit on by them media cowards?

    You’d think I’d killed the Sports Guy’s mom,
    Cause every single article has a GO bomb.

    He can’t let it rest, punk puffs out his chest,
    Thinks he some kind of later day Nostradamus.

    Simmons is a punk and Cowherd is worse,
    Every little hangnail and they’re calling for a hearse.

    The damndest luck, the freakish kneecap split,
    And every damn day sports writer garbage they spit.

    But karma comes and karma goes,
    Sooner or later it will come back on those ho’s.

    When you laugh when a guy blows out his knee,
    You know when karma pays you back it won’t be pretty.

    Whether it’s Greg Oden, Andrew Bynum or Blake Griffin,
    That stupid Celtics fan is always celebratin’.

    But you know what happens when you spew that hate?
    All you are doing is flipping off fate.

    It might take a month it might take a year,
    But sooner or later Simmons will take it in the rear.

    Got no health to move about, I guess I got no choice
    And stupid ass bitches listening to Colin Cowherds stupid voice.

    Colin came from Rip City back in the day,
    Now he hates on us to make his pay.

    I tell you what Colin go ahead and laugh it up,
    When it comes to bad karma creating you got a full cup.

    Rats in the press room, coaches in the back
    Internet bloggers in the alley with the sportswriter baseball bat

    I tried to ball all day so I could be a star
    But you know man this injury bullshit has gone way too far.

    You know this team really needs a boon,
    No choice now but to shoot da moon.

    Since half our team is unable to ball,
    I’m really hoping that we land John Wall.

    Chorus:
    Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge
    I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh
    [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh]
    [4th: say what?]
    The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder
    just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

    The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder
    just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under
     
    illmatic99 and BlazerFanForLife like this.
  2. SlyPokerDog

    SlyPokerDog Woof! Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2008
    Messages:
    122,794
    Likes Received:
    122,778
    Trophy Points:
    115
    LOL! Rep'd!

    (oops, "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Idog1976 again.")

    How long did you spend on that?
     
  3. Idog1976

    Idog1976 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2009
    Messages:
    6,709
    Likes Received:
    3,915
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    I look to the stars.
    Location:
    P-Town baby!
    About two hours or something like that. :)
     
  4. BlazerFanForLife

    BlazerFanForLife Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2008
    Messages:
    452
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    18
  5. Idog1976

    Idog1976 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2009
    Messages:
    6,709
    Likes Received:
    3,915
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    I look to the stars.
    Location:
    P-Town baby!
    I can't believe HCP isn't giving any props for this.
     
  6. SlyPokerDog

    SlyPokerDog Woof! Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2008
    Messages:
    122,794
    Likes Received:
    122,778
    Trophy Points:
    115
    You didn't mention him in it.
     
  7. illmatic99

    illmatic99 formerly yuyuza1

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2008
    Messages:
    57,588
    Likes Received:
    56,019
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    NYstateofmind
    LOL.

    Way too old school for me, but this is legit.

    Edit: you should get the instrumental off youtube, and rap it.
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2009
  8. BenDavis503

    BenDavis503 Banned User BANNED

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2009
    Messages:
    2,224
    Likes Received:
    23
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    Computer Geek
    Location:
    503
    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Idog1976 again.

    Very cool man!!!!!!! I will rap it for ya! hehe
     

Share This Page