<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (BALLAHOLLIC @ May 13 2006, 05:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>"I speak a little Spanish, so I'm able to communicate."- Marcus Camby, on communicating with teammate Nene Hilario, who speaks Portuguese and not Spanish."Because they don't have four pointers."- Antoine Walker, on why he shoots so many three pointers</div>Spanish and Portuguese are similar languages and if you can understand Spanish well you should be able to understand Portuguese as well. As for Antoine's quote, thank god he isn't shooting so many 3's in the playoffs or else :bat:
Ref Joey Crawford calling a foul on Stokjo Vrankovic (LAC): "Loose ball foul on whatever the hell his name is." Charles Barkley on his thoughts about retiring before the season: "Iremember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going toretire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'" Charles Barkley (Hou) at the start of the press conference followinghis career ending injury where he ruptured the quadriceps tendon in hisleft knee in the Phi-Hou game: "Well guys, I guess that sex is definitelyout of the question tonight." Mikki Moore [unintentionally explaining Detroit's troubles this season]:"We have to play hard for the full 40 minutes." Informed a game goes for 48 minutes: "48? Oh, that's right. 12-minute quarters."Charles Barkley on teammate Cuttino Mobley: "He's instant offense, onboth ends of the floor, I might add." "No, we smoked it all up." -- Rasheed Wallace, to the police officer that pulled him over, when he was asked if there was any more marijuana in the car.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (BALLAHOLLIC @ Jun 5 2006, 01:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>Ref Joey Crawford calling a foul on Stokjo Vrankovic (LAC): "Loose ball foul on whatever the hell his name is." Charles Barkley on teammate Cuttino Mobley: "He's instant offense, onboth ends of the floor, I might add."</div>These two were :HAHAHA:
All of these quotes are great, guys. Charles Barkely is the world's funniest former basketball player BY FAR.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (LakersFan247 @ Jun 2 2006, 11:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>lol im still laughing "We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic." - Barkley LMAO</div> :HAHAHA: :HAHAHA: :HAHAHA:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (BALLAHOLLIC @ Jun 5 2006, 05:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>Ref Joey Crawford calling a foul on Stokjo Vrankovic (LAC): "Loose ball foul on whatever the hell his name is." Charles Barkley on his thoughts about retiring before the season: "Iremember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going toretire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'" Charles Barkley (Hou) at the start of the press conference followinghis career ending injury where he ruptured the quadriceps tendon in hisleft knee in the Phi-Hou game: "Well guys, I guess that sex is definitelyout of the question tonight." Mikki Moore [unintentionally explaining Detroit's troubles this season]:"We have to play hard for the full 40 minutes." Informed a game goes for 48 minutes: "48? Oh, that's right. 12-minute quarters."Charles Barkley on teammate Cuttino Mobley: "He's instant offense, onboth ends of the floor, I might add." "No, we smoked it all up." -- Rasheed Wallace, to the police officer that pulled him over, when he was asked if there was any more marijuana in the car.</div> Nice quotes Ballah...you can't expect Mikki Moore to know how many minutes are in a game when he only plays in 10.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (BALLAHOLLIC @ May 13 2006, 02:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.--Charles Barkley"they say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds."-Wilt Chamberlain"Fans never fall asleep at our games, because they're afraid they might get hit by a pass."-George Raveling"I speak a little Spanish, so I'm able to communicate."- Marcus Camby, on communicating with teammate Nene Hilario, who speaks Portuguese and not Spanish."Because they don't have four pointers."- Antoine Walker, on why he shoots so many three pointers"The best day of my life was when I turned 25. That's the day my car insurance went down. Yeah, boy, I saved $1,200 that day."- Stephen Jackson"After being treated for a kidney stone, Lakers coach Phil Jackson said "When the anesthesiologist leaned over me, he said "We named your kidney stone Kobe because it's not passing." ""Every year, when I'm with a new team, that's one less team that doesn't know that I can't play. There are 5,000 players in America better than me that aren't in the NBA."- Mark Pope, Denver Nuggets."I don't care about that sucker anymore. He's a ball hog and becoming a cancer to this team. ... Just kidding. I wanted to see if you were awake."- Darius Miles, on his friendship with LeBron."That didn't bother me. I am not going to worry about a guy trying to be tough with a pink tie on."- Ben Wallace, on the injured Marcus Fizer acting like he was going to come off the Bulls bench and fight."My biggest thrill came the night Elgin Baylor and I combined for 73 points at Madison Square Garden. Elgin had 71 of them."- Hot Rod RundleyCharles Barkley: "To win a championship you shouldn't think so much about having home court advantage."Mike Bibby: "How would you know?""We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic."- BarkleyI've been dunked on by (Vitaly) Potapenko and now (Zan) Tabak. The good part is that they don't make posters of those guys." --Walt Williams"I didn't even know Elvis was from Memphis, I thought he was from Tennessee"- Drew GoodenI"f the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love were on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs, even if they were coming in fuzzy". - Bobby Knight"I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA".Shaquille O'NealMY FAVORITE:"We try to treat the road like it's a home game. We ain't got no fans at home, neither."- Dion Glover in his Atlanta Hawk days</div>LMAO all of those are funny. Charles Barkley is hilarious sometimes though isnt he lol
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>Bill Walton: "Carmelo, how do you think this new era of NBA greatness has changed the outlook on western civilization?"Carmelo Anthony: "I dunno what you talkin bout manCharles Barkley on teammate Cuttino Mobley: "He's instant offense, onboth ends of the floor, I might add."</div> :happy0144: Funny quotes.This one also made crack up a bit, too:"Pop some bottles, some Moet Rose. The red Moet, we ain't popping no Kristal, it tastes like urination."- Delonte West
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Zards @ Jun 10 2006, 05:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'> :happy0144: Funny quotes. This one also made crack up a bit, too: "Pop some bottles, some Moet Rose. The red Moet, we ain't popping no Kristal, it tastes like urination." - Delonte West</div> LOL I love Delonte. That quote is in my sig too, I had to post some Delonte stuff.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (CelticBalla32 @ May 16 2006, 11:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>Time to bring out some quotes from my boy, Delonte West (extremely funny guy):"Pop some bottles, some Moet Rose. The red Moet, we ain't popping no Kristal, it tastes like urination."- Delonte West"Bugs Bunny is the smoothest dude I ever met. You know, he be chillin', like it just be a normal day and he-- it be cold just like how it is in Boston and he just want to dive in the ground, pop up, and he be like, 'oh man, this ain't Albuquerque.' That's got to be the tightest life, you just hop underneath the ground and go! No traffic, no Mass Pike, no tolls, no lights, no taking Yankees hats off-- just underneath the ground...BAM...carrots...Albuquerque. It might seem crazy to you, but it's just a different way of expressing myself. I think it's kind of freaky."- Delonte West on Bugs Bunny (random but made me crack up)"My game is not speed. My game is finesse...and sexy...and chocolate...and all that good stuff."- Delonte West on his game"When we're on the yacht eating, we're going to have some Popeyes chicken. That's for dinner. It's to let her know, put a mental image on her mind, first and foremost, if you ain't from the hood, you don't like Popeyes chicken. Everyone there loves Popeyes chicken and the biscuits -- phew. But that's just getting it on her mind, saying, you know, 'Yeah, I can wine and dine you, but I'm a little rough around the edges and I'm keeping it real with you. I can be romantic, but this is real, we're going to eat some chicken tonight. Chicken and biscuits."- Delonte West talking about what him and his girl will do on his yacht"OK, so from there, we're doing a midnight skinny-dipping jump. Alright? From there, hopefully she's got money because I hope Jaws gets her, boom, make sure she got me in the will, bank, I'm good. Oh well, shark got her! Jaws got her."- Delonte West about a girl he makes his valentine"So, I pick her up in my white convertible. From there, I'd have the music pumping on the radio. The Jim Jones pumping, you know, 'Summer in Miami' song pumping. Got to keep a little gangsta, you can't be too soft. You can't be in there playing some guy that's crying, talking about don't leave me and love me baby, wah wah and all that."- Delonte West on picking up a dateOh man, I love Delonte. He's one in a million NBA personality and a true warrior on the court.Artest vs. Pierce - Singing on The Best Damn Sports Show PeriodArtest: "Paaaauull. Sorry for pulling your shorts down... I won't doo it agaaainn"Pierce's response: "Ron I accept your apology and it's good to have you back, but the next time they throw a beer.. we hope you don't react"^^^ LMFAO great comeback by PierceSome more:"In the playoffs, we all celebrities. It's great. I was a celebrity for 12 seconds tonight"- Damon Jones joking about his lack of playing time in game 6 vs. Wizards"Good luck in Milwaukee. There aint nuthin to do there tho. It's cold and boring, just warning you."- Gary Payton giving Andrew Bogut pre-draft advice"Because their aint no fours"- Antoine Walker (priceless) on why he shoots so many 3'sBill Walton: "Carmelo, how do you think this new era of NBA greatness has changed the outlook on western civilization?"Carmelo Anthony: "I dunno what you talkin bout man."Shaquille O'Neal section"I don't mind that I'm getting older. Everyone does. But hey, the older I get the sexier I get."- Shaquille O'Neal responding about how his age is slowing him down"Kobe? Kobe who? I'm sorry I don't know anyone by that name."- Shaquille O'Neal on his relationship with Kobe BryantShaq: "Refs try to take over the F*ckin game"Reporter: Shaq we're on the airShaq: "I don't give a sh*t"Reporter: I know (right after Shaq says "I don't)"This is the NBA. Not the WNBA. I'm not worried about Ericka Dampier."- Shaq on Dampier caliming to be the 3rd best center in the NBAAll-Time Favorite (can't believe nobody put this one in yet!)"Man, we talkin bout practice. Practice. Not a game... not a game... not what matters.. not a game.. but practice. I mean are we really sittin here talkin about practice? You watch me play? I give 110% on game day, but you sittin here and we talkin about practice? Practice? How the hell imma make my teammates better by practicin? I mean practice?"- Allen Iverson on missing practices - the best</div>HAHA!...I loved that one. But Shaq...please...take a look at game 2
Slava laughed at the suggestion his skills might be affected by the down time. "Are you kidding?" he said. "Basketball is like ball. It's all a circle."
Here are just a couple more I found, if they haven't already been said:This must be why the Heat have made it to the finalsPat Riley, well know for his attempts to motivate his team, once while with the Lakers tried to to throw a chair, only to find that it weighed more than he hought and he was only able to move it a few feet. Kurt Rambis: "That might have motivated me after I was done laughing.""People say I enjoy being famous. I don't. But what choice do I have?"-Charles Barkley"These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it! " -Charles BarkleyWhen asked how John Kerr would guard somebody like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar"I would get close to him and breathe on his goggles..." -John Kerr"Basketball is the MTV of sports."-Sara Levinson"Winning is like deodorant - it comes up and a lot of things don't stink."-Doc Rivers"This is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators. "--Dick Vertleib2002-03Minnesota GM Kevin McHale on Kevin Garnett's tirade in an ESPN Magazine interview: "Look, guys say a lot of things and I don't put too much credence in it. Maybe they got him on a day when his milk was too warm for his Coco Puffs."Clifford Robinson (Det) on his Celebriduck giveaway (and duck's body and player's likeness for the face with a beak): "Look what they've reduced me to - a duck. It's not something that's going to end up on my collectible shelf. I would much rather be a big-head bobble-head than a whack quack."Cleveland coach John Lucas one what he wrote on the board: "I put Phil Jackson's name up there, along with Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O'Neal. I told them, 'You guys probably want Phil Jackson. I probably want these guys. What we have is each other.'"2001-02Ref Luis Grillo on calling a foul on Popeye Jones during a Was-Mem game: "54 is dancing with Battier!"Sgt. Kirk Hartwell, who arrested Kwame Brown (Was) for going 120 mph in a 60 mph construction zone: "He just kept saying 'Michael Jordan is going to kill me.'"The LA Clippers placed Corey Maggette on IR with dislocated ring and little fingers on his right hand. Maggette suffered the injury when he pounded the scorer's table in frustration.Don Nelson on Dirk Nowitzki's new crew cut: "I didn't know he was that ugly. I thought he was a pretty good looking fella when he had hair, but, oh my goodness, did that bring out all his bad features or what. He's going to be single all the rest of his life!"Way to go Dirk!We have a candidate for this year's most bizarre injury. Dirk Nowitzki (Dal) suffered a strained tendon in his left ankle putting on his shoe. The injury occurred when Nowitzki had put his left shoe on and stomped his foot before tying his shoe to make sure it was all the way on and strained the tendon with the stomp. He missed the Washington game that night due to the injury.For the great Mav coachDavid Robinson (SA) on Avery Johnson no longer being with the Spurs: "It's strange not having Avery. You get used to hearing that voice all the time." 1999-00Alonzo Mourning on winning the Defensive Player of the Year award: "I thank my teammates for letting their men blow by them."The leading candidate for this season's most bizarre injury: Muggsy Bogues (Tor) missed the 2nd half of Monday's Por-Tor game because he accidentally inhaled a muscle ointment during a halftime treatment and he then complained about dizziness. Bogues: "Never happened to me before and I hope it never happens again. That was one of those fluke things you don't even dream about."
"I thought LeBron James was just going to be another addition to help me score,"- Ricky Davis"When I hit it I heard the crowd going crazy and I was like, 'Wow, that was a sweet jumper, they must have liked that one.' I had no clue."-- Matt Harpring, on receiving a pass from Mark Jackson and making the jumper that gave Jackson his 10,000th career assist. "Isiah Thomas: "I've got some bad news. We're trading you to Phoenix."Antonio McDyess: "What's the bad news?""Both teams played hard."- Rasheed Wallace's answer to every question in a post game interview, for which he received a massive fine."Play some Picasso."- Former New Jersey Net Chris Morris, to a piano player at a hotel bar while trying to impress a date. "I love Lamar. But at some point in time he's got to make the decision over what's more important, getting high or his career that's going to get him a $70 million contract."- Alvin Gentry, former Clippers coach, on Lamar Odom.Ref Joey Crawford calling a foul on Stokjo Vrankovic (LAC): "Loose ball foul on whatever the hell his name is."Charles Barkley on his thoughts about retiring before the season: "Iremember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going toretire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'"Charles Barkley (Hou) at the start of the press conference followinghis career ending injury where he ruptured the quadriceps tendon in hisleft knee in the Phi-Hou game: "Well guys, I guess that sex is definitelyout of the question tonight."Mikki Moore [unintentionally explaining Detroit's troubles this season]:"We have to play hard for the full 40 minutes." Informed a game goes for 48 minutes: "48? Oh, that's right. 12-minute quarters."Charles Barkley on teammate Cuttino Mobley: "He's instant offense, onboth ends of the floor, I might add.""No, we smoked it all up." -- Rasheed Wallace, to the police officer that pulled him over, when he was asked if there was any more marijuana in the car.If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.--Charles Barkley"They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds."-Wilt Chamberlain"Fans never fall asleep at our games, because they're afraid they might get hit by a pass."-George Raveling"I speak a little Spanish, so I'm able to communicate."- Marcus Camby, on communicating with teammate Nene Hilario, who speaks Portuguese and not Spanish."Because they don't have four pointers."- Antoine Walker, on why he shoots so many three pointers"The best day of my life was when I turned 25. That's the day my car insurance went down. Yeah, boy, I saved $1,200 that day."- Stephen Jackson"After being treated for a kidney stone, Lakers coach Phil Jackson said "When the anesthesiologist leaned over me, he said "We named your kidney stone Kobe because it's not passing." ""Every year, when I'm with a new team, that's one less team that doesn't know that I can't play. There are 5,000 players in America better than me that aren't in the NBA."- Mark Pope, Denver Nuggets."I don't care about that sucker anymore. He's a ball hog and becoming a cancer to this team. ... Just kidding. I wanted to see if you were awake."- Darius Miles, on his friendship with LeBron."That didn't bother me. I am not going to worry about a guy trying to be tough with a pink tie on."- Ben Wallace, on the injured Marcus Fizer acting like he was going to come off the Bulls bench and fight."My biggest thrill came the night Elgin Baylor and I combined for 73 points at Madison Square Garden. Elgin had 71 of them."- Hot Rod RundleyCharles Barkley: "To win a championship you shouldn't think so much about having home court advantage."Mike Bibby: "How would you know?""We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic."- BarkleyI've been dunked on by (Vitaly) Potapenko and now (Zan) Tabak. The good part is that they don't make posters of those guys." --Walt Williams"I didn't even know Elvis was from Memphis, I thought he was from Tennessee"- Drew GoodenI"f the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love were on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs, even if they were coming in fuzzy". - Bobby Knight"I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA".Shaquille O'Neal"We try to treat the road like it's a home game. We ain't got no fans at home, neither."- Dion Glover in his Atlanta Hawk days
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>I"f the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love were on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs, even if they were coming in fuzzy". - Bobby Knight</div>
@ this!Charles Barkley: "To win a championship you shouldn't think so much about having home court advantage."Mike Bibby: "How would you know?""We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic."- Barkleyand the Drew Gooden one.
Sgt. Kirk Hartwell, who arrested Kwame Brown (Was) for going 120 mph in a 60 mph construction zone: "He just kept saying 'Michael Jordan is going to kill me.'"
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (DaBridge @ Mar 16 2007, 11:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'> Sgt. Kirk Hartwell, who arrested Kwame Brown (Was) for going 120 mph in a 60 mph construction zone: "He just kept saying 'Michael Jordan is going to kill me.'"</div> :HAHAHA:
ESPN interview with Nate Robinson:Interviewer: Ever done karaoke?Nate Robinson: Of course.Interviewer: Do you have a go-to song?Nate Robinson: Probably R. Kelly "I Believe I Can Fly".Interviewer: That makes sense.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>"I didn't even know Elvis was from Memphis, I thought he was from Tennessee" -Drew Gooden</div>Drew Gooden is a idiot.
"Every year, when I'm with a new team, that's one less team that doesn't know that I can't play. There are 5,000 players in America better than me that aren't in the NBA."- Mark Pope, Denver Nuggets.^Mark Pope was one of the most honest players ever - he loved to make fun of himself - look him up - he was one of the coolest players"That didn't bother me. I am not going to worry about a guy trying to be tough with a pink tie on."- Ben Wallace, on the injured Marcus Fizer acting like he was going to come off the Bulls bench and fight."My biggest thrill came the night Elgin Baylor and I combined for 73 points at Madison Square Garden. Elgin had 71 of them."- Hot Rod RundleyI've been dunked on by (Vitaly) Potapenko and now (Zan) Tabak. The good part is that they don't make posters of those guys." --Walt Williams^ Those are my favorites
