Unbelievable. “We are all wondering what is going on.” Impossible. “We’re trying to find a reason for why these things are happening.” Completely unfair. “When things go wrong, we as society want to find someone to point the finger at or blame, and sometimes things just happens. And these injuries, each one of them… they’ve just happened.” If you say so, Coach. Nate McMillan was struggling to explain how Greg Oden could be injured: again. The 22-year-old former number 1 pick, who was seen by many to be the embodiment of a new Blazers era, will undergo microfracture surgery on his left knee some time Friday. Speaking at a hastily-summoned press conference Wednesday night, everyone was searching for answers. “Things happen,” said an expressionless McMillan. “And I can tell you that this medical staff, [head trainer] Jay [Jensen], our doctors, they work in the best interests of our players and our organization.” We’re sure they do. But is anyone else getting an uneasy feeling? A certain pit deep in the collectiveBlazer stomach that screams, “enough already”? After Oden went down last year with a fractured left patella, we were shocked. When Joel Przybillasuffered a torn patella tendon, eyebrows were raised. Then Pendergraph goes down with a torn ACL, and Elliot Willams went out for the season with a dislocated patella. Then it got worse. Read more: http://sportstwo.com/content/3312-Another-day…-another-injury.
Hey ya'll, I noticed this got buried, so sorry for bumping it back up. I'm going to be writing Blazer stuff for sportstwo.com a few times a week, and I would love your help. If my writing sucks, it would be awesome to know so i can shoot myself... Nah, but seriously, I do want to know IF it sucks and WHY. And if you like it, or part of it, let us know that, too. I've always been a huge fan of sports content created by locals; not just crap pulled from the AP. So if you wouldn't mind, take a peek at the piece and sound off. I'll post subsequent ones here on the forum, too. Also, there may be a problem with commenting directly on the article, so just leave your thoughts here. I am a 26-year-old lifelong Blazer fan who's never tried his hand at sports writing before, so anything that can be done to make the content better, I'll do it. Thanks everyone, -Brandon
CRITICIZE, PLEASE. If it's honest, it's constructive. If you are literally doing it for no other reason than to be mean, but it's honest, it will help. Thanks! -brandon
Clue: Rewrite Batum's blog in your own writing and call it your own. His is the most technical basketball writing I've read today, and not being on a major site, it's the easiest to steal. http://sportstwo.com/threads/174509-New-Batum-Blog-Post-11-18?p=2477642#post2477642
It's not a bad start. I would suggest removing any "unbelievable"/"impossible" type of introductions. It just detracts from the overall piece because the audience (especially the Blazer fanbase) doesn't need to know that it's unbelievable or impossible. We already have predisposed feelings coming into this article. Telling us that it's "impossible" or that we were "shocked" and then introducing a quote that adds sentiment rather than substance isn't going to catch the reader's attention. I think what would be better is introducing the story on a smaller, more specific scale...like start from the view of a fan..."You get back from work...you log onto....you go get dinner...and then, upon returning, you turn on ESPN....as you log on, you realize the usually active "insert sports site here" has slowed down/crashed...on the Blazers website, Nate McMillan addresses the issue, saying.....etc...etc". Since you're style already dictates that the story flows from a first person viewpoint, you should embrace the imaginative freedom you'll be able to have with it. And because this introduction makes the story much more specific, it also adds to the substance of the article as well....sentimental substance, but substance nonetheless, which you'll need to be able to appeal to an audience. As a result of this "sentimental substance", you can also introduce your opinion and make the piece more opinionated. If you want hits, you can go the route of Canzano or Bill Simmons but I'd advice against this and I hope you would too. Finally, you can back your opinions with data/information you find on the internet/newspaper. PER, TS, algorithms, surgical procedure rates, etc. Doing this will make your opinion seem more validated. Though, you can skip it altogether if you don't believe in stats or better yet, mention the stats and then bring up that statistics are only statistics and until 'x player' is healthy, there isn't much to argue for/against (more akin to Hollinger)...etc. Don't split up between different quotes/ideas/images/topics too rapidly either. Focus on one or two things. Be more specific. Use less wordiness and less quotes. So, don't write about "another day, another injury" because that is vague. Instead, write about the inevitability of injury and the Blazers. Then, stick to said topic...Focus only on "inevitability of injury" as it pertains to the "Blazers". Or if you want to be positive, write about the still untapped and possible potential that Oden and Roy have. And then comment on it. Specificity is key here. Now, you're doing great. Your writing is precise and articulate (especially when describing medical procedures and conditions). But criticism is criticism. There isn't going to be any black and white answer we can give you that'll solve everything for you and everything we tell you, you can just as easily ignore and violate these rules and still come up with a great story. That's just the imaginative process and the only thing to do is to continue reading, writing, and rewriting.
Reading blogs, like Blazersedge, ESPN, NBA Player blogs (Batum, as mentioned by jlprk), etc will probably help you out more than reading articles by Jason Quick where he breaks out the latest news...because let's face it, we don't have the kind of access that Quick has. So you're only going to be able to take his quotes and build upon it rather than break in on anything new.
