Alright ladies and germs. The time has come. My bags are packed. The car has a full tank of diesel. A large bag of beef jerky and a six pack of AMP sit shotgun. The player is loaded with road tunes from STP to Bach, Metallica to Johnny Cash, Smashing Pumpkins to John Tesh - and nearly everything between. I'll be leaving the in-laws place today. The in-laws are not just in-laws...they are cold and cruel - both of my wife's parents being OSU grads. It's a disgusting and evil place and I can't wait to clear my head with a bit of open road. It's eleven hours from their place in snowy Utah to Glendale. Road conditions - uncertain. Few things could keep me from this monumental moment of Duck glory. I'll share bits and pieces with my sportstwo friends along the way. I'm flying solo and you will be my company. My beautiful wife, the former college cheerleader, who loves football and has been nearly as excited about Ducks bowl games in the past, had to return to our home in central America and return to work. My brother, a beasty 280 pound terror, who revels in strolls through opposing team sections and veteran of two tours in Iraq, couldn't make it this time. What a pansy. He blames something called a "budget", like a budget has any involvement in a NC game. I think his vagina must be suffering from an infestation. I am off to the icy and snow covered roads. I bid you well. We shall meet again. -Targ There are two pieces of highway sitting by the side of the bar. One is a Duck fan and the other an Auburn fan. They are having a drinking contest, to see which one is the hardest. After 12 shots of vodka, both pieces of roadway are still unfazed, when suddenly the door opens and a red piece of street walks in. Upon which seeing the red guy, the Auburn highway runs straight for the bathroom. An hour later, he ventures out and discovers that the red piece of guy has left. Upon seeing his Duck buddy, he is asked why he ran off. To this he replies "Haven't you heard about him?, He's a CYCLE-PATH !!!!!!"
