"Hell" Scientifically Explained

Discussion in 'Blazers OT Forum' started by BLAZER PROPHET, Apr 12, 2011.

  1. BLAZER PROPHET

    BLAZER PROPHET Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2008
    Messages:
    18,725
    Likes Received:
    191
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Occupation:
    dental malpractice claims adjuster
    Location:
    Portland area
    Forgive me if this has already been posted here:




    HELL EXPLAINED
    BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

    The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

    The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :



    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?


    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.


    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.


    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.


    This gives two possibilities:


    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
     
    BoBoBREWSKI likes this.
  2. BoBoBREWSKI

    BoBoBREWSKI BURP!

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2008
    Messages:
    14,327
    Likes Received:
    5,798
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    NW
    That's great!
     
  3. Eastoff

    Eastoff But it was a beginning.

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2009
    Messages:
    16,057
    Likes Received:
    4,034
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Tualatin
    ah yeah, it's an oldie, but not half bad. :devilwink:
     
  4. Master Shake

    Master Shake young phoenix

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2007
    Messages:
    13,168
    Likes Received:
    114
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Toronto City
    Ahaha, that is hilarious!
     
  5. jlprk

    jlprk The ESPN mod is insane.

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2009
    Messages:
    30,672
    Likes Received:
    8,852
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    retired, while you work!
    That got embellished long after the student wrote it...Teresa? Hokay. All Hell breaking loose and Hell freezing over? Too cute for an exam under time pressure.
     
  6. BLAZER PROPHET

    BLAZER PROPHET Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2008
    Messages:
    18,725
    Likes Received:
    191
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Occupation:
    dental malpractice claims adjuster
    Location:
    Portland area
    Maybe so, but I found it amusing anyway.
     
  7. PapaG

    PapaG Banned User BANNED

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2008
    Messages:
    32,870
    Likes Received:
    291
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Tualatin, OR
    "Hell" photographically explained.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  8. jlprk

    jlprk The ESPN mod is insane.

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2009
    Messages:
    30,672
    Likes Received:
    8,852
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    retired, while you work!
  9. Fez Hammersticks

    Fez Hammersticks スーパーバッド Zero Cool

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2008
    Messages:
    29,150
    Likes Received:
    9,829
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Phone Psychic
    Location:
    The Deep State, US and A.
    Mythologically speaking, of course....
     
  10. BLAZER PROPHET

    BLAZER PROPHET Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2008
    Messages:
    18,725
    Likes Received:
    191
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Occupation:
    dental malpractice claims adjuster
    Location:
    Portland area
    HA! Speak for yourself. I know Teresa.
     

Share This Page