Well, I Screwed Up..

You know this from experience?

 

Clairol #147?

 

"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."
Johnny Carson

 

OK, well....I'm outa here...headed up North. Just received the text. She has a very, VERY special evening in store for us.

Life could be worse.

 

tmi on the perverted sexting part, but have fun!

 

I said, "I bet it can" which clearly indicates I have not had this experience. I have no desire to prove or disprove my theory about it but if you'd like to do that research you have my full "moral" support.

 

But something gives you the idea that it can, so you must have some sort of relatable experience.

 

My secret is I set the bar so low my wife expects me to fuck up. When I don't, it's like manna from Heaven for her.

 

i hate it when i grab my phone after sex and there is still lube on my hands and then there is lube on my phone, what a mess

 

this is a good strategy, i employ it often

 

That's why I avoid phone sex.

 

This was my compensation in lieu of a medal at the end of the first movie.

Now, I wish I woulda picked the medal.

 

Hey, if it burns, you might want to try using a different lubricant, like conditioner...

 

Alright, when I said I would do anything for you, I didn't mean . . . . . . .. OK fine, I'll fling pooh for you

 

I always get yelled at when I try to set the bar too low...

 

Oh, and for cry sakes, can we stop talking about flinging Pooh? It's bad enough he's gotta hang around with that annoying little twat Piglet all day, now he's got to get flung around like poo?

 

You're totally at the top of my virtual internet dating list (sorry Wookee)... Way to go!!!

 

What a perfect way to end a Friday afternoon... and with that I'm going to bounce like Tigger.

 

JACKPOT!!!