Dude, this manual labor and yardwork should be engrained in your brain. Being half-Polish is no excuse. You DO realize that the Polish are to Germany what the Mexicans are to America, right?
Ah shit! The same thing happened in building where I work, every restroom shut down, we have to go to another building, the equivalent of walking a block every time you need to pee.
Pooping in your house is overrated. You need to get better magazines, and I've seen spider webs thicker than that cheap toilet paper you use...