There's no worse form of sports journalism than when writers make the infamous “Grade” articles. It’s THE LAZIEST way to solicit discussion and the most arbitrary means of assessment – and it’s time we turned the tables. I decided to grade what writers on NBA.com had to say about Portland’s recent win over Indiana. Let’s do this! “Portland-Indiana on Monday. What’d that tell you about the Blazers? About the Pacers?” F This guy basically admits he didn’t study, let alone attend class. Tempting to give this guy an “incomplete” with a promise to try next time, but we’ve all heard this BS before, and this kid is as entitled as they come writing for NBA.com. F The Blazers won because the Pacers were tired? I’ve heard this before. “My dog ate my homework.” The Blazers were on the 2nd of a back-to-back and got into Portland 5 hours after the Pacers. Thanks for wasting my time. See you next semester. C- First, you should always start out with your strongest point when writing a short essay. If YOUR strongest point is actually the weakest point, you’re just bull shitting your way along. This could have easily been an F, as you could only name 1 off-season acquisition, and 1 starter, but I don’t want to see you next semester. C Congratulations. You have succeeded in doing the bear minimum, bullshitting your way through with generic, face-saving skepticism. You’ve clearly drawn from your experience of covering your cold sore with a balaclava to write this heap of concealer amidst your piss poor, pre-season predictions. D It wasn’t a fast paced game. Indiana played their game at their pace. But I said this test wasn’t going to cover stats so... moving on. You must have attended the same study group as Fran Blinebury (not sure why I’m just noticing this, but what an unfortunate name), again completely unaware that the Blazers also were playing the 2nd of a back-to-back and arrived in Portland 5 hours after Indiana. Portland can shoot and do cool stuff? Shut the front door! No mention of LaMarcus Aldridge, but you managed to talk about 4 players that were not even playing on either the Blazers or Pacers. Name dropping doesn’t impress me, but you did mention the word “legit” even if it was only about Portland’s offense. Great job! See you next semester. A- You seemed to take my remedial study group to heart as you actually mentioned LaMarcus Aldridge (albeit in parenthesis). Thomas Robinson is arguably the weakest bench player of the 4 rotation guys to play, and “etc.” means the difference between an “A-“ and an “A”. I have hope for you still. F Is making a statement in the form of a question really journalism? Now, go get your shine box and try again next semester. B+ Your lack of faith is disturbing. More disturbing, I didn’t realize there were any NBA players that were Italian. With heavy hitters like, Bargnani, Belinelli, Gallinai, can you blame me? And although they claim Reggie Jackson, I’m calling BS, because he grew up in the UK and US and holds US citizenship. Anyway, this is probably my “soft heart” grade of the semester. Just put a good word in for me with the new Pope and we’ll call it even. A China? CHINA?!?! FUCKING CHINA?!?!?! No wonder they’re taking all our jobs. FML Anyway, well done. I guess there is some truth to that whole “Asian kid” stereo-type. A Clearly this guy took this class before when it was call "The Dallas Mavericks and Dirk Nowitzski." He’s probably been reading too much ESPN and Blazers Edge since that time, which explains the skepticism, but it’s not his fault there there’s so much crap journalism in sports. Wunderbar, und Aufwiederzehn.
So basically anything good about Portland got an a, and everything else got a D or F. Outstanding thread.
I think the problem here is, fans tend to have issues with writers who just phone in their work. It's difficult to pay attention to most if not all teams, and easier to pay attention to the one you're covering (or the one ESPN basically forces everyone to think is great). So when a writer says that Indiana was on the 2nd of a "back to back", it is lazy writing. Portland was also on the 2nd of a back to back. Are the Lakers as tough as the Clippers? Maybe not, but the game was later, on the road and yes the 2nd game for Portland is a home game, it's still the first of a back to back for Portland. I don't think it's asking too much or writers to actually do their homework (no pun intended) when it comes to their career/job choice. Anyone can say cliches and look at the box score and write an article about the game. Well, obviously not anyone, I'm being sarcastic.
This is what I'm thinking. People have a right to their reservations to the team, we really haven't proved anything in terms of years prior. However, that said, this is fun as hell and I'm just staying in the moment and enjoying it. The writers are paid to be skeptical. It sells papers (gets hits, moreso)..
B Quoting a troll is never a good idea. See julius' take for how to interpret my post and get an A+. If people don't think this thread is hilarious, that's OK. But it is hilarious, and responding with anything that suggests otherwise is just asking for a failing grade.
I knew what you were going for, for the record, before I saw Julius' post. I dunno, I'm just enjoying this ride, and they are going to say what they are going to say, ignorant or not. It's part of being an up and comer.
F. Learn the difference between "who" and "that." To avoid overuse of "that," try "which." The new slang "snuck" has sneaked into the lexicon. Include the article "a" when writing an article.
This isn't an English class, so as long as I can understand the meaning, I award credit. lol I treat them like elementary school kids. Sad I have such low expectations, but I'd never get to the point if I focused on anything but basketball.
