It's not just living through their kids. It's the whole concept of having a family which is for the parents sole pleasure. The chance to create a legacy. Not saying there is anything wrong with it but producing offspring is in no way selfless. Adoption is selfless. Having kids is for the most part more about the parents than it is for non existent kids. hoop fam
I think that's what The Prez is saying, though. He realizes he'd be a terrible dad, and sure, maybe he's trying to make himself feel better about it by putting down those of us with kids, but at least it appears he won't be having kids.
It's not so much a money/adventure but a time and responsibility commitment. Which overall saps freedom of life. hoop fam
You remind me a bit of people I know who treat their pets as kids, without having kids. I take their opinions about kids the same as I take yours; knowing that I've lived both lives (we didn't have kids until age 31), and that I have a lot more experience in family life than them or you. Also, who said having kids is selfless? I certainly don't feel that way. It's a responsibility that my wife and I chose after having 6 years as DINKs and traveling wherever we wanted, and when we wanted. That got old, and we wanted a family. It was probably selfish of us in that way to choose to have a family.
I think the issue is what people base "life" on. For me, I'd rather be responsible and not be a commitment phobe.
I get the feeling El Prez may have been pressured by his family to succeed. Jesuit High, at least in my stereotypical world, is full of kids whose parents are trying to live through their kids. The parents I know from our kids' public school are pretty much all great people, with the one or two who are screamers and yellers at soccer games. That's very rare, though.
I didn't say that at all. There was no void, only a maturity that allowed us to expand our family and share life with our kids. Why are you so angry at your parents?
I know plenty of Catholic kids in Tualatin whose kids are classmates of mine. Some even live in Victoria Woods, and some even have kids at TuHS. I guess not all rich Catholics feel the need to spend $25k/year and bus their kids 45 minutes away to school?
"Share life with our kids". When making the decision to have kids...They do not exist. You are having the kids to supposedly add to your life. Like any other possession. This is the basis of saying having kids is for the benefit of the parents. hoop fam
No it isn't. I accept and understand why some people don't want to have kids. I think it's great that you don't want to have kids, because I doubt at this point of your life you'd have the first clue about loving and caring about someone other than yourself.
I don't know about that (because I just don't know. Not saying I disagree or agree). I think we're all damaged, so to speak, by our upbringing. Whether it's socio-economic issues, or family/preferences. He might or might not fit what you said, but it's an interesting thing to think about. For example, I think the impact of family/upbringing has huge impacts on your choices in having a family. I have a cousin who espouses a lot of the same things El Prez is saying, about having a family. He's in his late 20's, and doesn't seem to think it makes sense to have a family, talking about how parents living "vicariously" through their kids is pathetic and all the other cliches that you can think of. I think that it's more to do with him not wanting to have kids and subject them to the weirdness of his upbringing. His parents got married and divorced twice, to each other, and he dad was not exactly a good father. He says that's not the reason, and I'm not saying it's El Prez's reason either.
There is no guarantee that the kids will exist. It took us a year and half to have our first, and than was with help. If it hadn't happened for us, we would have adopted. My wife was adopted. You call that selfless.
