RENO BIGHORNS @ IDAHO STAMPEDE - 3/15/2014 - SATURDAY, 6:00 PM (PST), YOUTUBE

I don't know what to say to you. I feel completely out of touch with Crabbe.

 

The interview is taped, not live. That ruins my theory explaining why he sucks tonight. He's #14. He opens by telling Stampede fans that most players don't want to be sent down to their league. He's saying it's great, being positive. Says he hasn't played this many minutes since college. Wasn't that only 12 months ago? He acts as if it's a long time ago. Says the NBA moves fast as a business, since he was traded 10 minutes after Cleveland drafted him. Practices 2 hours a day, no classes, has to fill up remaining time getting mentally ready. snider asks him about defense, he says he wants to play defense. He's glad he was "sent here."

That interview was as lukewarm as his game tonight. His hot quarters have been Qtr 1 in Game 1 and Qtr 4 in Game 2. This is Game 3. Ross Cook is the name of the Stampede colorman.

 

It's too late to apologize!

 

Mo Charlo, the Horn's big man, is a good shooter. Crabbe starts again at guard, but each time is playing forward a couple of minutes later when I check. Lockett scores on Crabbe. I see no explosion or first step from Crabbe. Another Batum type who will blend in and assist, not lead. Wow, Murphy has to do a 360 to avoid a defender under the basket, and makes it. He has 24. Lockett fouls Crabbe while Crabbe misses a long one after several fakes. Crabbe makes both FTs. Crabbe misses a go-by leaner. (I admit, that's beyond my vocabulary. That's what they called it. He attacked the basket, got stopped 8 feet out, had to try a floater hookshot, but the defender was on him too closely.)

 

What would happen if the 2 Mikes didn't show up? Wheels' voice would be piped in.

What if HCP slept in? The game would be cancelled.

 

Yes, but you're supposed to be better than them. You're our eyes and ears, the bridge to the Stars, our ticket to the Boise Show, the man with his finger on the pulse of the Crabbe. STOP TOYING WITH OUR EMOTIONS!

 

In this league, the refs hold up the game to review video before making a call. Just like the big boys. Crabbe misses, is 2-9. We are up 76-70. How did that happen? We were down all the 2nd and at halftime. Lauderdale is our big horse whose name isn't mentioned much during the game. He's doing the dirty stuff. Mentioning him is like whispering about the CIA. HomerLovesKoolAid made me do it. First and last time I ever type his long name. Kool-Aid and Jello, same thing, I always preferred a candy bar. 3 minutes left in the 3rd, Crabbe lets his man sail by him, I think it was Gladness. On a call out of the timeout, Machado assists Crabbe, who makes it! Was that a 3? A Horn steals it from Crabbe's dribble. Crabbe needs to sharpen his dribbling. Crabbe gets downcourt first, receives the pass for the make. End of 3rd, up 82-74.

 

Alright, just to make up with my fans, I just threw the alarm clock through the wall. Plus, I invented a beautiful example for grammar teachers in the difference between "threw" and "through." I cleverly did this in my role as your moral leader. Clean up your morals! Speak right!

 

Thank you! I wouldn't think that one Dallas Lauderdale update is too much to ask......that guy is going places.

 

I was surprised we took the lead--the reason was we outrebounded them 14-3 in the 3rd. The Tinyhorns dominated in the 2nd and it seemed similar in the 3rd. They're surprised too and are mounting a comeback. Everytime we shoot a FT, the camera angle shows a giant pink clown float which is stored on the side somewhere. It looks down the shoulder of whoever is shooting. This does not speak well for our FT shooters. Crabbe comes in for Vida Blue I mean Vander Blue. If I mention Vida Blue, it shows my age. He was a pitcher. Crabbe doing nothing. 6 minutes left in the 4th, still up 93-84. Technical on Rashard James, whoever that is. He's a Horn. Tempers flaring in this big game. The Tinies thought they had it won, came out of halftime confident, but our Crabbe interviewrefreshed the Stampeders' big horses and we jumped the corral fences. How can you tell it's a timeout? Okay, now I switch from colorman to play by play, game is back.

 

That's just how good we are. Crabby doesn't even have to 'flip the switch' to beat these guys.

 

94-88 in this Fight of the Night. Playhouse 90 follows with a guest appearance by Dave Garroway, then Father Knows Best. Rocky Marciano stands up. waves to the crowd, and spits on the floor. Everyone cheers!

Time warp. I got memories. Crabbe gets a rebound. This is big for him on this rather inactive night! Later he misses a FT. The ball goes out of bounds? No, Crabbe and another Horseman corral it in midair even though it's over the line. (He's doing so little, I have to inflate little things.)

 

It shows how good he is. If he were bad, he's have to show us what he can do.

 

You need a sign off catch phrase. "It's a great day to be in front of a stampede!"

 

It's great having this current box score at my fingertips, so I can give you moment by moment stats. That's how I am flooding you with Crabbe's numbers, up-to-the-moment. 26 seconds left, up 99-97! Crabbe misses! Lauderdale the biggest Horse, fouls out! Will Crabbe win the game? What will Reno do? Tied 99-99! We've had it! Snider talking about overtime strategies. Murphy dribbles twice, makes the clutch from 12! Timeout. Charlo drives, not closely guarded, stumbles on a bump in the floor! Refs examine video for moles or weasels! Decision coming...the stumble will count! We win 101-99! Someone runs around the floor, hoisting the official giant Stampede flag, its colors flowing in the wind! That flag is big! It's meant for hanging. Don't say that word in Idaho!

Crabbe smiled after Murphy made the shot. So Crabbe contributed to the win! That will be his big line if I look at the written play-by-play, which I won't! With this effort Crabbe will return rejuvenated to Portland and get big minutes from now on, just like McCollum did this season, and Freeland and Leonard annd Barton last year! The story ends, and they lived happily ever after.

 

I gave it the bedtime story ending, happily ever after, for putting everyone to sleep, here it is midnight. I considered having Roy and Dale sing "Happy trails to you." I'll go dig it up.

Here it is. I watched this show a thousand times. My aunt used to have Dale's job before Roy met Dale. I've posted here about it to Kingspeed. Anyway, here's the perfect Stampede signoff song.

[video=youtube;eEqUyNaSdvg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEqUyNaSdvg[/video]

 

Well done.

 

Just to ruin the perfect ending...I've been humming this in my head for 50 years. "Wyatt Earp, Wyatt Earp, brave, courageous, and bold. Long may he live, and long may he live, and long may his story be told." What? The words aren't what I remember?

[video=youtube;BZgLmEdSfVQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZgLmEdSfVQ[/video]

 

Great work, Jlprk, the best thing we got out of Crabbe this season!
Is Scott Machado on our team? Is he any good? Liked him as a prospect.

 

Can't tell on Machado. He was making a couple more mistakes than average last night, but then, he was a recent add to the team. I remember his fans, including sportswriters, were surprised when he barely missed being drafted by the NBA.

Darkwebs sure does a nice job on his threads.