We''re F*****!

Cow farts cause barn to explode in Germany

Flatulence from 90 cows in a German barn sparked a methane gas explosion that damaged the building and left one cow slightly injured with burns, police said Tuesday.


http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_25007914/cow-farts-cause-barn-explode-germany

 

If you think we truly are fucked, not much you can do about it except whine whine whine.

Which is apparently what people are doing about it.

 

Chicken Little likes to walk in the woods. She likes to look at the trees. She likes to smell the flowers. She likes to listen to the birds singing.
One day while she is walking an acorn falls from a tree, and hits the top of her little head.
- My, oh, my, the sky is falling. I must run and tell the lion about it, - says Chicken Little and begins to run.
She runs and runs. By and by she meets the hen.
- Where are you going? - asks the hen.
- Oh, Henny Penny, the sky is falling and I am going to the lion to tell him about it.
- How do you know it? - asks Henny Penny.
- It hit me on the head, so I know it must be so, - says Chicken Little.
- Let me go with you! - says Henny Penny. - Run, run.
So the two run and run until they meet Ducky Lucky.
- The sky is falling, - says Henny Penny. - We are going to the lion to tell him about it.
- How do you know that? - asks Ducky Lucky.
- It hit Chicken Little on the head, - says Henny Penny.
- May I come with you? - asks Ducky Lucky.
- Come, - says Henny Penny.
So all three of them run on and on until they meet Foxey Loxey.
- Where are you going? - asks Foxey Loxey.
- The sky is falling and we are going to the lion to tell him about it, - says Ducky Lucky.
- Do you know where he lives? - asks the fox.
- I don't, - says Chicken Little.
- I don't, - says Henny Penny.
- I don't, - says Ducky Lucky.
- I do, - says Foxey Loxey. - Come with me and I can show you the way.
He walks on and on until he comes to his den.
- Come right in, - says Foxey Loxey.
They all go in, but they never, never come out again.

 

There once was a shepherd boy who was bored as he sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. To amuse himself he took a great breath and sang out, "Wolf! Wolf! The Wolf is chasing the sheep!"

The villagers came running up the hill to help the boy drive the wolf away. But when they arrived at the top of the hill, they found no wolf. The boy laughed at the sight of their angry faces.

"Don't cry 'wolf', shepherd boy," said the villagers, "when there's no wolf!" They went grumbling back down the hill.

Later, the boy sang out again, "Wolf! Wolf! The wolf is chasing the sheep!" To his naughty delight, he watched the villagers run up the hill to help him drive the wolf away.

When the villagers saw no wolf they sternly said, "Save your frightened song for when there is really something wrong! Don't cry 'wolf' when there is NO wolf!"

But the boy just grinned and watched them go grumbling down the hill once more.

Later, he saw a REAL wolf prowling about his flock. Alarmed, he leaped to his feet and sang out as loudly as he could, "Wolf! Wolf!"

But the villagers thought he was trying to fool them again, and so they didn't come.

At sunset, everyone wondered why the shepherd boy hadn't returned to the village with their sheep. They went up the hill to find the boy. They found him weeping.

"There really was a wolf here! The flock has scattered! I cried out, "Wolf!" Why didn't you come?"

An old man tried to comfort the boy as they walked back to the village.

"We'll help you look for the lost sheep in the morning," he said, putting his arm around the youth, "Nobody believes a liar...even when he is telling the truth!"

 

There once was a Crane from Nantucket...

 

The researcher is Chicken Little. The sky is falling!