SOURCE: http://webapp.utexas.edu/blogs/archives/bleiter/000525.html<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>The Leiter Reports: Editorials, News, Updates? Philosophy Job Market 2003-04 | Main | Yet more on legal realism... ? November 30, 2003Weapons of Math InstructionAt New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said hebelieves the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He isbeing charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction."Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutionsby means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search ofabsolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer tothemselves as "unknowns", but we have determiner - they belong to acommon denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in everycountry. "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to everytriangle," Ashcroft declared.When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wantedus to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us morefingers and toes. I am gratified that our government has given us a sinethat it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing todisintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potentialto decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless webecome exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts ofvertex." Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read myellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue tomultiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."Posted by Brian Leiter at November 30, 2003 08:51 PM</div>
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Pacers fan forever @ Dec 7 2006, 06:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>Pervert UGH :ranting: :ranting: :ranting: :ranting: :ban: :ranting: </div> First of all, why do you need 11 emoticons? Second of all - pervert? What? Do you even know what that means, Pacers fan? What about this topic/article is perverted?
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (CelticBalla32 @ Dec 7 2006, 01:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>First of all, why do you need 11 emoticons? Second of all - pervert? What? Do you even know what that means, Pacers fan? What about this topic/article is perverted?</div>did you click the link?
<span style="font-family:Comic Sans Ms">:HAHAHA: I clicked the link and e-e-ooh-e... Some stupid music played. Eww... Fab, wtf were you thinking when posting that?</span>
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (nba dogmatist @ Dec 7 2006, 09:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>that link is gross. I'm going to suspend fab for that. uncalled for.funny article.</div><span style="font-family:Comic Sans Ms">You're abusing your authority. It's not his fault that we clicked on the link. This ban is uncalled for.</span>
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Illosophee @ Dec 7 2006, 08:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'><span style="font-family:Comic Sans Ms">:HAHAHA: I clicked the link and e-e-ooh-e... Some stupid music played. Eww... Fab, wtf were you thinking when posting that?</span></div>He was probably thinking about how much you'd enjoy it.
