I'd get you in a Kimura lock within 20 seconds and break your arm off so your hand won't need to be tied behind your back.
Funny you should ask. Here in Northern Virginia yesterday, I spent the morning in 2 courtrooms, then drove to the local DMV. It was success at both stops. I always win.
You're talking to a man who moved to Tokyo, Japan during the Occupation, lived off-base in a totally Japanese neighborhood, and lived to tell about it. This is only part of my legend.
Today I drove the perilous neighborhood around Georgetown University and lost that female voice on GPS twice. Yet I still found my way back to Ol' Virginnie. Real men have a sense of direction.
After I make mincemeat of every poster in this thread, I'm heading to 7-Eleven for a pack of bologna.