Fun stuff to do this week/weekend in Portland for Christmas

I believe you can pay guys to shit on your face if that is what you are into.

barfo

 

Merry Christmas!

http://www.danteslive.com/event/6027515

It's very Portland and very awesome.

 

Tamer than what I suggested, but a good suggestion.

barfo

 

One time when I went this girl came out on stage. Really gorgeous, completely nude. She kneels down in front of this little stool. Places a tray on it. Then starts putting Barbie dolls in the tray. Next she takes lighter fluid and sprays it all over the Barbies. She then starts reading this poem about her fucked up childhood. Really dark shit. During the poem she pulls out a lighter and sets the Barbies on fire. It was a pretty big blaze. Black smoke filling the stage. Then she pulls out this really big knife and while yelling, "Mommy... mommy... why did you leave me mommy!" starts stabbing the flaming Barbie dolls. She now crying, still stabbing at the dolls, someone runs out with a fire extinguisher and put the fire out while someone else runs up and takes the knife from her.

She had really nice boobs.

 

And the SIN in SINferno stand for Sex Industry Night. All the damaged and deranged strippers in Portland get together to put on a happy little show.

 

Don't you understand that the Barbies symbolized your penis?

barfo

 

What part of she had nice boobs are you not understanding?

 

Have you done Stripper Karaoke?

 

No, you sing, they strip.


A bespectacled man stands in the back corner of the dimly lit stage, about five feet from the stripper pole. Nervously tapping the microphone against the white cast holding his right arm in place, he's ready to start. Or as ready as he'll ever be.


"Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to take a short break while the dancer gets ready for the next song," says the karaoke jockey at Devils Point.


Then the opening chords of George Michael's "Faith" start playing through the speakers.


"Well, I guess it would be nice, if I could touch your body…" begins the man, only slightly off-key.


A heavily tattooed dancer enters stage left, a nun's wimple and veil sitting atop her bikini-clad body. She holds a plastic baby doll. This is the second song of her set, so her top is coming off. The small, eager crowd cheers and makes it rain with dollar bills as she pushes their faces into her silicone pillows.


The singer keeps his composure admirably—right up until the stripper-cum-nun throws him off by rubbing his crotch with the face of the doll, which has an upside-down cross on its back.


Welcome to karaoke, Portland-style. This city has a giant songbook of wild and wonderful karaoke nights. Variety is king here. Look around town and you'll find everything from traditional lounge fare, where the forlorn butcher "Total Eclipse of the Heart," to exquisite renditions of indie B-sides. We've been tipped off that the New York Times is about to proclaim Portland the nation's karaoke capital. Given the paper has called Kornblatts "one of the truly great New York delis outside the five boroughs" and proclaimed our city to be in "a Golden Age of Dining and Drinking" in 2007—we believe the rumor. Here are five karaoke nights that almost earn us such hype.



StripperaokeAlong with the nun dance, at Stripperaoke I've also seen a singer's voice crack during the chorus of Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game" as a beautiful topless dancer wrapped herself around his legs. The singers sing and the strippers dance, sometimes playing off the music, sometimes as an attempted distraction. The dancers rotate every two songs before going off to mingle and give private dances. Sitting at the stage costs $1 per song. The dancers' attractiveness and skill may vary, but your experience will not: It's a fun, hedonistic way to start a new week. 9 pm Sundays at Devils Point, 5305 SE Foster Road, 774-4513, devilspoint.net.

http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-19523-singing_in_the_strange.html