Mike Barrett's early offseason report

Discussion in 'Portland Trail Blazers' started by Sinobas, May 14, 2016.

  1. Sinobas

    Sinobas Banned User BANNED

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    Noah Vonleh has put on 100 pounds of muscle and literally leapt over the hoop and dunked the ball with his knees.
     
  2. PDXFonz

    PDXFonz I’m listening

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    I would have believed you if you said 50 lbs of muscle

    Still +1
     
  3. BigGameDamian

    BigGameDamian Well-Known Member

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    UN Fucking Touchable!
     
  4. theprunetang

    theprunetang Shaedon "Deadly Nightshade" Sharpe is HIM

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    Plumlee and Ed Davis have already added a 3 point shot. Damian is working on the ability to literally fly. He's only able to levitate at this point, but the progress is noticeable.
     
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  5. Fez Hammersticks

    Fez Hammersticks スーパーバッド Zero Cool

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  6. BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94

    BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94 AWOL

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    Neil Olshey found the cure to cancer, Laker tears.
     
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  7. SlyPokerDog

    SlyPokerDog Woof! Staff Member Administrator

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    Hahahahahaha!
     
  8. bodyman5000 and 1

    bodyman5000 and 1 Lions, Tigers, Me, Bears

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    The funny thing to me is that I thought this would be real and that I'd have to make a sarcastic comment like that. Now I don't and it wouldn't have been that good anyway.
     
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  9. Sinobas

    Sinobas Banned User BANNED

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    Meyers Leonard has been working on a sky hook shot with his good arm, and I seen him drain 50 in a row from the right block. He's going to be amazing next year, there's almost no way to defend that shot.
     
  10. GriLtCheeZ

    GriLtCheeZ "Well, I'm not lookin' for trouble."

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    Broken Fucking Record!
     
  11. theprunetang

    theprunetang Shaedon "Deadly Nightshade" Sharpe is HIM

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    Didn't you mean Un Fucking Tunchi-ble?
     
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  12. TBpup

    TBpup Writing Team

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    You can't measure the cohesiveness of this team and that will mean volumes as the season progresses. Fans don't get to see what goes on in the Practice Facility but Cliff Alexander dominates at practice and Luis Montero and Pat Connaughton give the starters fits in scrimmages. They could be big time contributors on any other team but it is so stacked in front of them here in Portland that they don't get to show how good they are.

    I see them hitting '3' after '3' against tough defense.

    Wait...long '2' they say.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2016
  13. ripcityboy

    ripcityboy Well-Known Member

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    Meyer's dog found Tunchi's Pessimism and was seen playing with it at the season ending press conference..... The local liquor store is out of Mike Riley's favorite scotch so he's switching to whiskey...... CJ is releasing a scandalous book about Derek Jeter's love life called 'Homers and Herpes.'
     
  14. UncleCliffy'sDaddy

    UncleCliffy'sDaddy We're all Bozos on this bus.

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    This is so very Barrett, you almost had me believing it for a sec.......
     
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  15. BBert

    BBert Weasels Ripped My Flesh

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    I could hear his voice while I read that. Spooky.
     
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  16. jlprk

    jlprk The ESPN mod is insane.

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    Crabbe made 897 straight 3-point shots in practice. He had to stop at 2 am when the bar kicked him out because the janitor had to empty the wastebasket.
     
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  17. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    Little known fact for you fans...Mike Rice actually works with Dame in the offseason which is where he's learned to drink like a fish..he didn't have the skills as a rookie. Rice coaches him for free food and liquor and is looking forward to another offseason bonding with the bottle
     
  18. Chris Craig

    Chris Craig (Blazersland) I'm Your Huckleberry Staff Member Global Moderator Moderator

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    Aminu has learned to dribble!
     
  19. Orion Bailey

    Orion Bailey Forum Troll

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    "With Pat Connaugton's rising emergence as the future PG of Portland, The front office has put Dame's contact up for trade on the open market. NO candidly admitting they require at minimum 1 st round pick, as Dame's age is no longer fitting the forward movement of youth. NO went on to further comment that they intend to become the only team with a roster that cant drink legally in the state of Oregon, but will be able to still smoke cannabis. As Portland's great coaching and talent acquisition has shown, it seems very plausible that Portland may just be that team of the future...but never the now."
     
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  20. Eastoff

    Eastoff But it was a beginning.

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    Mike Barrett's inner demons are really Sinobas. That makes so much sense.
     
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