If his tiny hand reaches for me again while babbling about magic underwear I swear to god I'll stab him with my fork.
"See those scallops on Mitt's plate? Well, I rubbed them on my asshole. And Mitt watched me do it. And now he's going to eat them. Mitt thought he had convictions and principles, but he's just the same as me. He'll do any damn thing to get power, including eat my ass-scallops. (shh: after he does it, I'm still not going to give him the job!) Ha ha ha ha ha!" barfo
My name is Trump. I'm a whiny little bitch who posts....I mean tweets all kinds of butthurt shit because my dream dominatrix lost the election. I'm going to keep starting new threa.....I mean tweeting insane shit I see on Facebook until my new blankey I ordered on Amazon gets here. Fuck amazon by the way, my Che Guevara pacifier shipped a day late so I have to wait an extra day. I know I'll love it though because Bryan Cranston tweeted how awesome it was. Did I mention my name is Trump?
Romney: "Pinky, you know what we are going to do today?" Trump: "What Brain?" Romney: "Today, we take over the world!"
Melania refuses to move into the White House until it is remolded. Your first mission as Sec. of State, should I choose to pick you, will be to hire the best decorator in the country and make my wife happy.